I've never been good at New Year's resolutions. The one year I actually sat down and wrote them out, I lost the sheet I wrote them on and forgot what they all were. So this really isn't my thing. But, after I found out that I would have to miss the Avett Brothers show on New Year's Eve in Asheville, I figured I'd get a chance to see them again in 2011 and all would be well, and then I started to think even more - I live just a few hours away from cities like Birmingham, New Orleans, Memphis, Nashville, Dallas, and Atlanta and most of my favorite bands frequently play in those cities. I also have friends in almost all of those cities that I don't see all too often and would like to see more. THEN I realized my class schedule was entirely Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday with no Monday or Friday classes so there would be plenty of opportunities to visit these cities to visit people and go to shows. So, for me, hopefully 2011 will be the year of the concert for me. This list will probably grow in length because these are all the people I can come up with offhand. In 2011, I want to see:
Jimmy Eat World (February 19, Oxford)
The Avett Brothers (April 16, Dallas)
Mumford & Sons
Old Crow Medicine Show
Yonder Mountain String Band
NEEDTOBREATHE
The Dirty Guv'nahs
Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors
Wild Sweet Orange
Again...this list isn't definitive, but I want to see as many concerts as possible this year. I've already got tickets to Jimmy Eat World and The Avett Brothers, so it'll be interesting to see how many of these work out.
Happy New Year
-chanchan
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Hey! Unto You a Child is Born!
Today, as I was taking a shower, Drew and Ellie Holcomb's cover of "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" came on and naturally, being a Christmas song, I sang along. As I was singing along, a line in the song that I've sung a million times in my life really hit me in a way it never has before. It's the line "peace on earth and mercy mild, God and sinners reconciled." And it hit me what it was saying. God, the creator of everything that has ever been or ever will be and everything we have seen and haven't...and sinners, me, who is selfish, lustful, arrogant, lazy...every other negative thing you can probably come up with...reconciled. The song rang especially true today, especially after I made a fool of myself yet again.
But then I started thinking of Christmas songs in general. And I mean...Christmas songs that are actually Christmas songs. The ones that proclaim the coming of Christ. While there are a lot of good ones that don't have anything to do Christ, those don't really make me stop and think. And after thinking about it, it makes me kinda sad that we don't sing these songs year round. They proclaim truths that we constantly need to be reminded of.
I mean, think about it. "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" is one of them. "Joy to the World!" talks about earth receiving her king and hearts preparing him room. And one of the sucky parts about growing up Southern Baptist is that we either don't sing hymns anymore or skip out the third stanza of hymns, and just now am I seeing the third stanza of "Joy to the World." It goes like this:
No more let sins and sorrows grow
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make his blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found
Far as, far as, the curse is found
Whoa! That is phenomenal...the truth proclaimed here is just amazing. I mean, I really can't even put my thoughts into words right now. Think about this wicked, evil, screwed up world we live in. Shoot, think about yourself, and the crap in your own life. And here, with the coming of the Savior, the blessings flow as far as the curse of sin is found. Which is everywhere.
More than that, though..."O Come O Come Emmanuel." That one's pretty heavy. It proclaims a lot of the different names of Jesus, starting off with "Emmanuel" - God with us. Which kinda goes back to the theme of "Hark the Herald" - God dwelt among sinners. God...dwelt...among...sinners.
Think about "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" - one of my all time favorites. It tells tells the story of the coming of Christ, and then encourages believers with "tidings of comfort and joy." Because that is the ultimate comfort - realizing that:
For Jesus Christ our Saviour
Was born upon this day,
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
There's no other comfort in this entire world. That blows my mind.
And this - the poem that "O Holy Night" is based on...
Midnight, Christians, it is the solemn hour,
When God-man descended to us
To erase the stain of original sin
And to end the wrath of His Father.
The entire world thrills with hope
On this night that gives it a Savior.
People kneel down, wait for your deliverance.
Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer,
Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer!
The ardent light of our Faith,
Guides us all to the cradle of the infant,
As in ancient times a brilliant star
Guiding the Oriental kings.
The King of Kings was born in a humble manger;
O mighty ones of today, proud of your grandeur,
It is to your pride that God preaches.
Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
The Redeemer has overcome every obstacle:
The Earth is free, and Heaven is open.
He sees a brother where there was only a slave,
Love unites those that iron had chained.
Who will tell Him of our gratitude,
For all of us He is born, He suffers and dies.
People stand up! Sing of your deliverance,
Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer,
Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer!
Man. I didn't even know that before I started doing a little research to write this. I mean...I'm speechless.
And there are more. Think about "Away in a Manger" or "Silent Night." Obviously there's Handel's "Messiah" and the "For Unto us a Child is Born" movement. The list goes on.
So I guess I am writing this just to encourage anyone who may be reading this to really think about the words to the songs you sing this Christmas. Realize that these are praise songs - songs that proclaim the birth of our Savior. It really blew my mind to sit down and think about it today. Listen to them, think about them, reflect on them...but don't just sing them because they're "seasonal" or whatever.
Finally, I can't ever experience this time of year without thinking of the glorious time I got to spend as Ralph Herdman in "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" and how much fun that was. I think my favorite part of the whole thing is when Gladys runs in, as the angel, and yells "HEY! UNTO YOU A CHILD IS BORN!"
Because ultimately, that's the message of Christmas. A series of events that would forever change everything. And it all started with that proclamation.
Merry Christmas!
-chanchan
But then I started thinking of Christmas songs in general. And I mean...Christmas songs that are actually Christmas songs. The ones that proclaim the coming of Christ. While there are a lot of good ones that don't have anything to do Christ, those don't really make me stop and think. And after thinking about it, it makes me kinda sad that we don't sing these songs year round. They proclaim truths that we constantly need to be reminded of.
I mean, think about it. "Hark the Herald Angels Sing" is one of them. "Joy to the World!" talks about earth receiving her king and hearts preparing him room. And one of the sucky parts about growing up Southern Baptist is that we either don't sing hymns anymore or skip out the third stanza of hymns, and just now am I seeing the third stanza of "Joy to the World." It goes like this:
No more let sins and sorrows grow
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make his blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found
Far as, far as, the curse is found
Whoa! That is phenomenal...the truth proclaimed here is just amazing. I mean, I really can't even put my thoughts into words right now. Think about this wicked, evil, screwed up world we live in. Shoot, think about yourself, and the crap in your own life. And here, with the coming of the Savior, the blessings flow as far as the curse of sin is found. Which is everywhere.
More than that, though..."O Come O Come Emmanuel." That one's pretty heavy. It proclaims a lot of the different names of Jesus, starting off with "Emmanuel" - God with us. Which kinda goes back to the theme of "Hark the Herald" - God dwelt among sinners. God...dwelt...among...sinners.
Think about "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" - one of my all time favorites. It tells tells the story of the coming of Christ, and then encourages believers with "tidings of comfort and joy." Because that is the ultimate comfort - realizing that:
For Jesus Christ our Saviour
Was born upon this day,
To save us all from Satan's power
When we were gone astray
There's no other comfort in this entire world. That blows my mind.
And this - the poem that "O Holy Night" is based on...
Midnight, Christians, it is the solemn hour,
When God-man descended to us
To erase the stain of original sin
And to end the wrath of His Father.
The entire world thrills with hope
On this night that gives it a Savior.
People kneel down, wait for your deliverance.
Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer,
Christmas, Christmas, here is the Redeemer!
The ardent light of our Faith,
Guides us all to the cradle of the infant,
As in ancient times a brilliant star
Guiding the Oriental kings.
The King of Kings was born in a humble manger;
O mighty ones of today, proud of your grandeur,
It is to your pride that God preaches.
Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
Bow your heads before the Redeemer!
The Redeemer has overcome every obstacle:
The Earth is free, and Heaven is open.
He sees a brother where there was only a slave,
Love unites those that iron had chained.
Who will tell Him of our gratitude,
For all of us He is born, He suffers and dies.
People stand up! Sing of your deliverance,
Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer,
Christmas, Christmas, sing of the Redeemer!
Man. I didn't even know that before I started doing a little research to write this. I mean...I'm speechless.
And there are more. Think about "Away in a Manger" or "Silent Night." Obviously there's Handel's "Messiah" and the "For Unto us a Child is Born" movement. The list goes on.
So I guess I am writing this just to encourage anyone who may be reading this to really think about the words to the songs you sing this Christmas. Realize that these are praise songs - songs that proclaim the birth of our Savior. It really blew my mind to sit down and think about it today. Listen to them, think about them, reflect on them...but don't just sing them because they're "seasonal" or whatever.
Finally, I can't ever experience this time of year without thinking of the glorious time I got to spend as Ralph Herdman in "The Best Christmas Pageant Ever" and how much fun that was. I think my favorite part of the whole thing is when Gladys runs in, as the angel, and yells "HEY! UNTO YOU A CHILD IS BORN!"
Because ultimately, that's the message of Christmas. A series of events that would forever change everything. And it all started with that proclamation.
Merry Christmas!
-chanchan
Monday, December 6, 2010
Don't Be An Idiot
This post is mostly meant to psych me up for the next seven days.
Sometimes I reflect on advice people have given me. Some of this is good advice and some of this is bad advice. They both tend to be comical at times, but the truth underneath it is undeniable. I honestly can't recall the worst advice anyone ever gave me, but when I think about the best advice anyone has ever given me, I think back to the summer of 2007 when I served on Summer Staff at Malibu in Egmont, British Columbia. That's where Kristin Barwick told me "Don't be a idiot." (Yes, she said "don't be a idiot" not "an idiot") And as I sit here staring finals down, knowing myself, these words ring incredibly true.
Don't be an idiot.
What spurred this post is irrelevant. The thing I have to remember about these next 7 days is that I really do, truly, honestly believe that I am where God has me in life. Yeah, finals will be tough, yeah, I did a great deal of procrastinating during the semester, and yeah, I've probably made it a little bit more difficult than it needs to be, but it's still doable. But in this time, I can't be an idiot. Yes, I would probably rather play video games or watch TV. Yes, I would probably rather read some of the books I've bought lately NOT for school. Yes, I would probably rather spend time with my friends or playing outside with the dogs. Yes, I would probably rather be doing anything right now but studying. But it's a week. One week. One week where I know what needs to get done, one week to finish strong.
Don't be an idiot.
Yes, I tend to get worked up/freaked out/upset about little things that people probably shouldn't get worked up/freaked out/upset about. This is not the time for that. Situations will work themselves out.
But the biggest part about "don't be an idiot," to me, right now, is that at times like this I typically tend to not trust God at all. I mean, that's where the freak out stuff comes from. Because I think the way I want things to happen is the way they SHOULD happen, and then when they don't work out that way (or work out that way as quickly as I'd like them to) I lose my mind. Which is why this extends beyond finals and into every aspect of my life. So, when I think about the best way that "don't be an idiot" applies to my life, it just speaks to the idea that I would trust in myself, the neurotic, sometimes-lazy, frequent jerk who is quick to speak and maybe quicker to anger over the sovereign God who sees and knows all, who intimately knows me in ways I don't know myself, who planned this very moment and sees my life 5, 10, 15, and 50 years down the road. The God who knows my wife already, knows what my kids will look like, knows the next car I'll get, knows all of the things I have pent up inside me that may never see the light of day but loves me anyway. And the God who, for some reason, called me to this very time.
So why do I worry? It reminds me of Jon Foreman's song "Your Love is Strong" - Why do I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need...and he's promised to give it to me. I can stand on that promise, knowing it won't always be easy, but knowing that God is good. And he has a plan through all of this.
Don't be an idiot.
Until next time,
-chanchan
PS - listening to Gillian Welch's "Revival" - fan-freaking-tastic album. Love it.
Sometimes I reflect on advice people have given me. Some of this is good advice and some of this is bad advice. They both tend to be comical at times, but the truth underneath it is undeniable. I honestly can't recall the worst advice anyone ever gave me, but when I think about the best advice anyone has ever given me, I think back to the summer of 2007 when I served on Summer Staff at Malibu in Egmont, British Columbia. That's where Kristin Barwick told me "Don't be a idiot." (Yes, she said "don't be a idiot" not "an idiot") And as I sit here staring finals down, knowing myself, these words ring incredibly true.
Don't be an idiot.
What spurred this post is irrelevant. The thing I have to remember about these next 7 days is that I really do, truly, honestly believe that I am where God has me in life. Yeah, finals will be tough, yeah, I did a great deal of procrastinating during the semester, and yeah, I've probably made it a little bit more difficult than it needs to be, but it's still doable. But in this time, I can't be an idiot. Yes, I would probably rather play video games or watch TV. Yes, I would probably rather read some of the books I've bought lately NOT for school. Yes, I would probably rather spend time with my friends or playing outside with the dogs. Yes, I would probably rather be doing anything right now but studying. But it's a week. One week. One week where I know what needs to get done, one week to finish strong.
Don't be an idiot.
Yes, I tend to get worked up/freaked out/upset about little things that people probably shouldn't get worked up/freaked out/upset about. This is not the time for that. Situations will work themselves out.
But the biggest part about "don't be an idiot," to me, right now, is that at times like this I typically tend to not trust God at all. I mean, that's where the freak out stuff comes from. Because I think the way I want things to happen is the way they SHOULD happen, and then when they don't work out that way (or work out that way as quickly as I'd like them to) I lose my mind. Which is why this extends beyond finals and into every aspect of my life. So, when I think about the best way that "don't be an idiot" applies to my life, it just speaks to the idea that I would trust in myself, the neurotic, sometimes-lazy, frequent jerk who is quick to speak and maybe quicker to anger over the sovereign God who sees and knows all, who intimately knows me in ways I don't know myself, who planned this very moment and sees my life 5, 10, 15, and 50 years down the road. The God who knows my wife already, knows what my kids will look like, knows the next car I'll get, knows all of the things I have pent up inside me that may never see the light of day but loves me anyway. And the God who, for some reason, called me to this very time.
So why do I worry? It reminds me of Jon Foreman's song "Your Love is Strong" - Why do I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need...and he's promised to give it to me. I can stand on that promise, knowing it won't always be easy, but knowing that God is good. And he has a plan through all of this.
Don't be an idiot.
Until next time,
-chanchan
PS - listening to Gillian Welch's "Revival" - fan-freaking-tastic album. Love it.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Redemption...or...something
I'm a sports fan. This shouldn't come as a shocking revelation to anyone that knows me, but in case it does serve as a shocking revelation to anyone, I'm just laying it out there. I love sports, particularly basketball and football. I dabble a little in baseball and will occasionally watch golf if the storylines are compelling behind whatever tournament is on. A little while back, I asked myself "why?" Why do I like sports so much? Why am I perfectly content with spending an entire Saturday and an entire Sunday doing nothing but watching football? Why am I willing to drive 2 and a half hours to Oxford to watch a 2 hour basketball game and drive 2 and a half hours back home in the same day? And the thing is, I really don't have an answer. Part of it is because I grew up playing sports. From September to July every year, I spent my time playing basketball then moving on to baseball. I was never really a stand out at anything, but I just liked playing.
But for the last couple of years, my interest in sports piqued to a whole new level. When I think back over the last few years, as it pertains to sports, there have been a couple of incredibly compelling stories. To me, Josh Hamilton's story is probably the best story in all of sports. There are a lot of good ones to choose from, and a lot of stories that resonate with me (I mean, come on. I practically WAS Rudy for my high school basketball team. But being one of the worst players on a Mississippi private school basketball team doesn't hold the same appeal as being a walk on for one of the most storied programs in college football) but the story of Josh Hamilton is incredible. Here you have a guy who literally had everything at his disposal. He was one of the top baseball players in his draft class and was considered a once in a lifetime talent. Then he got hooked on drugs and was literally homeless for a little while, then came to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, cleaned his life up, and now is one of the best players in Major League Baseball. On top of that, he's not perfect. So many times we hold these guys (athletes, singers, actors, pastors, whatever...) to a standard no one except for Christ himself could uphold. But when he does screw up, he admits it. And he isn't ashamed to talk about Christ through all of it.
But why does that story touch me in such a way? Simple: redemption. And it's not just about sports. I've never met the guy, but I'm sure Josh Hamilton would tell you that if you took the baseball, the money, the fame, and all that away, as long as he still had Christ he'd be fine. But the redemptive aspect of his story rings true in all of us. We WANT a guy like that to succeed, because it gives us hope in our own lives.
It's the same reason we love the story of the Prodigal Son. We've all been there - maybe it wasn't drugs. Maybe it was sex. Pornography. Alcohol. Depression. Broken relationships. We've all been there - hopeless, lost, and past the point of "trying harder." We've reached the point where we've given up all hope and understood the weight of our own brokenness and come to the realization that there's nothing we can do about it.
The beauty about that situation for Christians is that we realize there never was anything we could do about it. It's not about whether or not we can pull ourselves back up by our bootstraps, but it's about what Christ did on the cross for us. We can't exactly explain it, but it comes down to what Josh Hamilton said about his own story - "It's a God thing." The Prodigal Son remembered his father's goodness and knew that even his servants ate and lived better than he was. He knew he wasn't worthy to be called his father's son anymore, but knew his father to be a compassionate man and hoped for the chance.
So, yeah, we want that story to be true. We want those things to happen, because they give us hope. As much as I love seminary, I get caught up in it a lot of times and forget those times when things seemed hopeless and only Christ would be my way out. I like the thought of being able to sound smart and theologize this and rationalize that so much that I often forget that it's not about being smarter or theologizing or rationalizing. It's about faith - faith in God, faith in Christ - and trusting in him and him alone. I think one of the most profound statements in the Bible is in the story of the blind man in John 9. Jesus heals the guy, giving him sight for the first time. When the Pharisees got a hold of him and questioned him about it, they asked if Jesus was a sinner. The blind man responded in John 9:25 saying "Whether he is a sinner, I do not know. One thing I know, that though I was blind, now I see."
I don't know. Maybe this whole thing is a stretch. Maybe finals and papers have fried my brain in such a way that literally anything would make sense right now (wouldn't be the first time...) but seeing stories of redemption like that awaken something in me. Something I want and need to believe is true. And something that I know is true.
-chanchan
Monday, November 1, 2010
Ramblings and Sundry Observations
After a relatively long dry spell, I'm writing my second blog in three days. I love it when my mind is working overtime like this. I've been thinking about a lot of things, so I'm just going to write them down and see what happens. And sadly it gets political. Sorry.
-Driving back from class tonight, Jars of Clay's cover of Rich Mullins' "If I Stand" came on my iPod. I absolutely love this song. Rich Mullins had to have been one of the most gifted songwriters ever and I'm sad he's no longer with us. That song is so incredible - if you don't know it, listen to it. Reflect upon it. It's seriously good stuff.
-The weather is finally changing. To me, this means a lot of things, but one of my favorite things it means is basketball season is upon us! Sadly, my white boy 6'3" center skills did not lead to any post high school playing time (or actual high school playing time), but the love for the game has never left me. And about this time I start to get nostalgic and just downright ready to watch college hoops.
-Tomorrow is an election day. I never know what to think on days like this as far as who to vote for and why or anything like that, but I do have a few thoughts to offer up:
1. This time it takes on a whole new meaning. I have two very close friends, one who recently finished basic training for the National Guard and another who just left for basic training for the Marine Corps, who are now involved with the armed forces. I've never really been in that situation before - I've never even really had family members who have served (since I've been alive - several of my great uncles and my grandfathers served in WWII) so basic freedoms like that are maybe starting to take on a new meaning. I've never really been too keen on voting, to tell the truth, because it seems like the choices are always either terrible or the same (or both). But now, I guess it does take on a new meaning.
2. Please keep in mind whoever you vote for isn't perfect. They're going to make mistakes, they're going to drop the ball on some issues...it's just how it works.
3. Ask hard questions. I really do get frustrated when, in the midst of a war, crazy economic times, and bills like the health care bill are being pushed on us, politicians talk about things that aren't important. We're in a time when we need difficult answers and honesty and not pandering to the religious or patriotic or things like that.
4. Don't be afraid to do what you think is right - I think we live in such a polarized time that we get so worked up against good ideas just because they come from the wrong side and we miss out.
So, if you're going to vote, do it intelligently. Don't vote Republican or Democrat just because it's what you've always done. We live in a time when information is available literally everywhere so there's no reason to not be informed.
-I'M GOING TO SEE THE AVETT BROTHERS ON NEW YEAR'S EVE IN NORTH CAROLINA!!!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!! (I'm a tad bit excited about that piece...)
-Lately I've been listening to a lot of:
1. Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More
2. Lecrae - Rehab
3. MXPX - all of it
4. The Avett Brothers - again, all of it
5. Joshua Radin - he's good. Listen to him.
-Finally, in just thinking about life in general, stuff's good. I have to ask myself, in the midst of all of this, what is God teaching me? He's obviously keeping certain things out of my life right now for a reason, or reasons - everything happens for a reason - but what is it/are they? Last Tuesday during Bible study I came across a couple of passages - both in Luke.
1. Luke 9:23-27 - this is the "take up your cross daily" passage, and I've been thinking a lot about what that looks like in my own life. At this point, I'm not 100% sure. It's something I'm praying a lot about, but it'd be much easier if somebody just wrote down the instructions and handed them all out to us - but then again, that would take the fun out of life!
2. Luke 10:17-20 - this is an interesting passage. Jesus commissioned 72 people to go out and preach and cast out demons, and they did. In verses 17-20, we see the story of them returning and they are pretty stoked about casting out demons, but Jesus tells them not to rejoice in that, but to rejoice in the fact that their names are written in the book of life! That really stood out to me - a lot of times we rejoice in our own successes, whether "spiritual" or not, but the thing we are to rejoice in, just as Jesus told the 72, is our salvation! And I got to thinking about that - that's true joy. Even in spite of great things or awful things happening, our joy is in the Lord and what he did for us on the cross. It really puts things into perspective.
So that's it. Just a pretty random assortment of thoughts, but I didn't want to let any of them get away. So there they are.
<3 chanchan
-Driving back from class tonight, Jars of Clay's cover of Rich Mullins' "If I Stand" came on my iPod. I absolutely love this song. Rich Mullins had to have been one of the most gifted songwriters ever and I'm sad he's no longer with us. That song is so incredible - if you don't know it, listen to it. Reflect upon it. It's seriously good stuff.
-The weather is finally changing. To me, this means a lot of things, but one of my favorite things it means is basketball season is upon us! Sadly, my white boy 6'3" center skills did not lead to any post high school playing time (or actual high school playing time), but the love for the game has never left me. And about this time I start to get nostalgic and just downright ready to watch college hoops.
-Tomorrow is an election day. I never know what to think on days like this as far as who to vote for and why or anything like that, but I do have a few thoughts to offer up:
1. This time it takes on a whole new meaning. I have two very close friends, one who recently finished basic training for the National Guard and another who just left for basic training for the Marine Corps, who are now involved with the armed forces. I've never really been in that situation before - I've never even really had family members who have served (since I've been alive - several of my great uncles and my grandfathers served in WWII) so basic freedoms like that are maybe starting to take on a new meaning. I've never really been too keen on voting, to tell the truth, because it seems like the choices are always either terrible or the same (or both). But now, I guess it does take on a new meaning.
2. Please keep in mind whoever you vote for isn't perfect. They're going to make mistakes, they're going to drop the ball on some issues...it's just how it works.
3. Ask hard questions. I really do get frustrated when, in the midst of a war, crazy economic times, and bills like the health care bill are being pushed on us, politicians talk about things that aren't important. We're in a time when we need difficult answers and honesty and not pandering to the religious or patriotic or things like that.
4. Don't be afraid to do what you think is right - I think we live in such a polarized time that we get so worked up against good ideas just because they come from the wrong side and we miss out.
So, if you're going to vote, do it intelligently. Don't vote Republican or Democrat just because it's what you've always done. We live in a time when information is available literally everywhere so there's no reason to not be informed.
-I'M GOING TO SEE THE AVETT BROTHERS ON NEW YEAR'S EVE IN NORTH CAROLINA!!!!!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!! (I'm a tad bit excited about that piece...)
-Lately I've been listening to a lot of:
1. Mumford & Sons - Sigh No More
2. Lecrae - Rehab
3. MXPX - all of it
4. The Avett Brothers - again, all of it
5. Joshua Radin - he's good. Listen to him.
-Finally, in just thinking about life in general, stuff's good. I have to ask myself, in the midst of all of this, what is God teaching me? He's obviously keeping certain things out of my life right now for a reason, or reasons - everything happens for a reason - but what is it/are they? Last Tuesday during Bible study I came across a couple of passages - both in Luke.
1. Luke 9:23-27 - this is the "take up your cross daily" passage, and I've been thinking a lot about what that looks like in my own life. At this point, I'm not 100% sure. It's something I'm praying a lot about, but it'd be much easier if somebody just wrote down the instructions and handed them all out to us - but then again, that would take the fun out of life!
2. Luke 10:17-20 - this is an interesting passage. Jesus commissioned 72 people to go out and preach and cast out demons, and they did. In verses 17-20, we see the story of them returning and they are pretty stoked about casting out demons, but Jesus tells them not to rejoice in that, but to rejoice in the fact that their names are written in the book of life! That really stood out to me - a lot of times we rejoice in our own successes, whether "spiritual" or not, but the thing we are to rejoice in, just as Jesus told the 72, is our salvation! And I got to thinking about that - that's true joy. Even in spite of great things or awful things happening, our joy is in the Lord and what he did for us on the cross. It really puts things into perspective.
So that's it. Just a pretty random assortment of thoughts, but I didn't want to let any of them get away. So there they are.
<3 chanchan
Sunday, October 31, 2010
What Changed?
As I sit here reflecting on a great night, I have to ask myself - what changed? Anybody who really knew me knew how miserable I was in Oxford, especially the last 6 months I was there. I even had a hard time coming back for basketball games during the winter, and I LOVE basketball. I had a countdown clock literally counting down the minutes until I got to move home, and I couldn't even wait to get home on basketball weekends after visiting.
On top of that, this football season has been pretty miserable. So why am I sitting here, in Oxford, ridiculously happy? Being in the Grove today, going to the game, going to the Square after the game...it's just good. I got to see all kinds of people - college friends, grown friends, friends from back home, and I got a great chance to talk about what God is doing in my life right now and how ridiculously good he is even when I don't deserve it. Now, instead of "man, I can't wait to get home" I'm thinking "man, I wish I could stay a few extra days!" Why? What changed?
I really have no idea.
I just know my spirit is completely renewed. I'm still not where I need to be, but I can feel my heart changing. The shift from being a "believer" to being a "disciple" is beginning (I hope and think) and some things in scripture and in school are starting to make sense in ways that they never really have before. So maybe it's just being in a better place with God right now, but whatever this change is, I like it.
Oh, and Happy Halloween. Enjoy the day. It's a fun one.
<3 chanchan
On top of that, this football season has been pretty miserable. So why am I sitting here, in Oxford, ridiculously happy? Being in the Grove today, going to the game, going to the Square after the game...it's just good. I got to see all kinds of people - college friends, grown friends, friends from back home, and I got a great chance to talk about what God is doing in my life right now and how ridiculously good he is even when I don't deserve it. Now, instead of "man, I can't wait to get home" I'm thinking "man, I wish I could stay a few extra days!" Why? What changed?
I really have no idea.
I just know my spirit is completely renewed. I'm still not where I need to be, but I can feel my heart changing. The shift from being a "believer" to being a "disciple" is beginning (I hope and think) and some things in scripture and in school are starting to make sense in ways that they never really have before. So maybe it's just being in a better place with God right now, but whatever this change is, I like it.
Oh, and Happy Halloween. Enjoy the day. It's a fun one.
<3 chanchan
Monday, October 4, 2010
Confidence
Lately, God has been working on my heart in a number of ways. He's shown me some things I'm good at, shown me some things I suck at, told me NO rather emphatically on something I had gotten my hopes up for, and allowed me to be perfectly and totally content for no apparent reason. One of these things struck me in a sermon from two weeks ago, the evening service at Crossgates Baptist Church on September 26th.
I'm not a Greek scholar by any stretch (my Greek I average is pretty solid proof of that) but when it comes to the Bible I've always been pretty interested in what the original text said. That Sunday night, pastor Jett preached on Hebrews 4:16, which reads "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Pastor Jett then said something about the Greek word used in that sentence, which turned out to be "parresia." The word (I'm not exactly sure how write it in Greek on here, so that's the best I can do for right now...) is a combination of the two words "pas"and "rhesis", which mean all and speech, act of speaking. That's actually completely different than what I expected the word confidence to mean, which in English means "the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust" and even that definition is not what I expected it to be.
What do you think of when you hear the word confidence? For whatever reason, I've always associated it with the self. For example, I have confidence in myself to go and make an A on a test or I used to have confidence in myself to be a pretty decent basketball player or I'm confident in my own personality so I can get a date with a girl. (For those that know me, those are three totally ridiculous examples!) But confidence to me has always been about me. Which is really weak because not a single one of us has anything to be confident about in and of ourselves. Which is exactly where the word started to mess with me.
I mean, I think about the things I have confidence in - I have confidence in my car to get me from point A to point B. I have confidence in my friends to show up and do what they say they are going to do. I have confidence in my hands when I play guitar. I have confidence in any number of things, unfortunately, all of those things are really not worth being confident in. My car breaks down. My friends sometimes bail. I'm not really that good at guitar. So, really and truly the only thing we can be confident in is Jesus Christ, because he's the only person that has ever walked the face of this earth and not let people down.
But I feel like the "confidence" cited in Hebrews 4:16 is a different kind of confidence. As I mentioned earlier, it literally means "all speech." So we, as believers, have an audience before the God and creator of the universe, and can approach his throne in all confidence. How ridiculous is that? Think about the Old Testament for a second. When the high priest went before God on the day of atonement, he had to make sure everything was just perfect before entering the Holy of Holies, and even in that, he had to tie a rope around his waist in case something were to go wrong and he were to die in the presence of God. It's not that God wanted to try to kill anyone or anything like that, but because of His holiness, things had to be a certain way. However, you and I as believers have that confidence.
The question becomes why? Why do we have that kind of confidence to go before the throne of grace? Well, the question is answered before we even get to Hebrews 4:16. In verses 14 and 15, Paul explains that we have that high priest who has passed through - Jesus Christ. And the coolest thing is verse 15 - "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin." So our confidence comes not only in Christ's blood, that he has atoned for our sins, but because he can totally relate to us in every way. He put aside his glory (just as the high priest put aside his elaborate garments to enter the Holy place) to come to earth and live amongst us.
Think about it this way, though. Back in those days, if a person was granted an audience before a person of power, they really didn't have that kind of confidence. He'd never know if the authority figure were in a bad mood or was just an evil person or couldn't relate or whatever. So, he could technically say whatever he wanted, but the authority figure could order his head cut off or his family killed or something crazy like that. But that's not how it is with our heavenly father. If we belong to him, we have that confidence! We can speak our minds because we have a high priest who relates to us in every way, yet still is perfect. Yet still came to earth, died on the cross, defeated death, and rose again.
There's a lot more to it than this, obviously, but reading the commentary I read (you can read it here) those were the things that stood out to me. It's a little bit more jumbled and rambling that I had hoped, but I just thought the word and the concept in general were both pretty cool.
-chandler
I'm not a Greek scholar by any stretch (my Greek I average is pretty solid proof of that) but when it comes to the Bible I've always been pretty interested in what the original text said. That Sunday night, pastor Jett preached on Hebrews 4:16, which reads "Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Pastor Jett then said something about the Greek word used in that sentence, which turned out to be "parresia." The word (I'm not exactly sure how write it in Greek on here, so that's the best I can do for right now...) is a combination of the two words "pas"and "rhesis", which mean all and speech, act of speaking. That's actually completely different than what I expected the word confidence to mean, which in English means "the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust" and even that definition is not what I expected it to be.
What do you think of when you hear the word confidence? For whatever reason, I've always associated it with the self. For example, I have confidence in myself to go and make an A on a test or I used to have confidence in myself to be a pretty decent basketball player or I'm confident in my own personality so I can get a date with a girl. (For those that know me, those are three totally ridiculous examples!) But confidence to me has always been about me. Which is really weak because not a single one of us has anything to be confident about in and of ourselves. Which is exactly where the word started to mess with me.
I mean, I think about the things I have confidence in - I have confidence in my car to get me from point A to point B. I have confidence in my friends to show up and do what they say they are going to do. I have confidence in my hands when I play guitar. I have confidence in any number of things, unfortunately, all of those things are really not worth being confident in. My car breaks down. My friends sometimes bail. I'm not really that good at guitar. So, really and truly the only thing we can be confident in is Jesus Christ, because he's the only person that has ever walked the face of this earth and not let people down.
But I feel like the "confidence" cited in Hebrews 4:16 is a different kind of confidence. As I mentioned earlier, it literally means "all speech." So we, as believers, have an audience before the God and creator of the universe, and can approach his throne in all confidence. How ridiculous is that? Think about the Old Testament for a second. When the high priest went before God on the day of atonement, he had to make sure everything was just perfect before entering the Holy of Holies, and even in that, he had to tie a rope around his waist in case something were to go wrong and he were to die in the presence of God. It's not that God wanted to try to kill anyone or anything like that, but because of His holiness, things had to be a certain way. However, you and I as believers have that confidence.
The question becomes why? Why do we have that kind of confidence to go before the throne of grace? Well, the question is answered before we even get to Hebrews 4:16. In verses 14 and 15, Paul explains that we have that high priest who has passed through - Jesus Christ. And the coolest thing is verse 15 - "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin." So our confidence comes not only in Christ's blood, that he has atoned for our sins, but because he can totally relate to us in every way. He put aside his glory (just as the high priest put aside his elaborate garments to enter the Holy place) to come to earth and live amongst us.
Think about it this way, though. Back in those days, if a person was granted an audience before a person of power, they really didn't have that kind of confidence. He'd never know if the authority figure were in a bad mood or was just an evil person or couldn't relate or whatever. So, he could technically say whatever he wanted, but the authority figure could order his head cut off or his family killed or something crazy like that. But that's not how it is with our heavenly father. If we belong to him, we have that confidence! We can speak our minds because we have a high priest who relates to us in every way, yet still is perfect. Yet still came to earth, died on the cross, defeated death, and rose again.
There's a lot more to it than this, obviously, but reading the commentary I read (you can read it here) those were the things that stood out to me. It's a little bit more jumbled and rambling that I had hoped, but I just thought the word and the concept in general were both pretty cool.
-chandler
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My Statement of Faith
I had to write this for a job I applied for, and I feel like it's an important thing everyone should do. I'm actually a bit sad that it took me 25 years to do it. These are just the basics.
Statement of Faith
Chandler Rowlen
I believe in the triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Each are separate entities, equal in power, yet distinct in their ministries. All three are co-eternal, none has a beginning nor an end.
I believe in God, the creator of everything. He is my heavenly Father, who has called me according to His purposes. He created the earth and man in His own image, perfect and in communion with Him. Man sinned, and through man sin entered the world, rendering all of mankind spiritually dead and helpless in that state, unable to contribute anything to salvation.
I believe God the Father sent Jesus Christ his son, who was both fully man and fully God, to redeem mankind by his sacrificial death upon the cross. He rose again on the third day so that not only would our sin be atoned for, but we would have everlasting life in Christ. His death was not exemplary, rather, it was sacrificial and necessary to atone for the sin of man. Just as sin entered the world through one man, so did life through Christ.
I believe God the Father sent the Holy Spirit to convict and guide His people in life. He is our guide and helper.
I believe in the Bible as God’s infallible word. It is divinely inspired and is the authority for doctrine, theology, and faith. It also serves as an example for how to live a Christian life.
I believe in the local church as a local body of believers seeking the will of Christ both in their personal lives and for the life of their community.
Statement of Faith
Chandler Rowlen
I believe in the triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Each are separate entities, equal in power, yet distinct in their ministries. All three are co-eternal, none has a beginning nor an end.
I believe in God, the creator of everything. He is my heavenly Father, who has called me according to His purposes. He created the earth and man in His own image, perfect and in communion with Him. Man sinned, and through man sin entered the world, rendering all of mankind spiritually dead and helpless in that state, unable to contribute anything to salvation.
I believe God the Father sent Jesus Christ his son, who was both fully man and fully God, to redeem mankind by his sacrificial death upon the cross. He rose again on the third day so that not only would our sin be atoned for, but we would have everlasting life in Christ. His death was not exemplary, rather, it was sacrificial and necessary to atone for the sin of man. Just as sin entered the world through one man, so did life through Christ.
I believe God the Father sent the Holy Spirit to convict and guide His people in life. He is our guide and helper.
I believe in the Bible as God’s infallible word. It is divinely inspired and is the authority for doctrine, theology, and faith. It also serves as an example for how to live a Christian life.
I believe in the local church as a local body of believers seeking the will of Christ both in their personal lives and for the life of their community.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
The Lining is...Silver?
I'm moody. Anybody who truly knows me knows this. Maybe you do really know me and I've managed to hide it from you. Maybe you don't know me. Maybe we just haven't been friends long enough for you to notice. But it's true - I'm moody. And I never know when I'm going to be moody. So there's my startling (not really) confession for the day.
Part of being moody is being frustrated, and I am REALLY good at being frustrated. Really good at it. And I'm also really good at not being able to deal with it. It's that time when you're bored or mad or whatever and nothing can fix it - I can't even find solace in playing guitar because I just wind up angry that I can't write a song or remember stuff from memory and I can't just do it. Music doesn't even work because I can't find anything that helps and then I do and it's just one song and my iTunes plays 850 other songs that I don't even like and it just gets more and more frustrating.
But, in the process of fast forwarding through a couple of hundred songs (really not an exaggeration) I came across Relient K's "The Lining is Silver". The chorus of the song says:
Isn't it nice to know
[Isn't it nice to know]
That the lining is silver
Isn't it nice to know
[Isn't it nice to know]
That we're golden
Yeah we're golden
Oh
And the answer is yeah, it is nice to know. But even though the lining is silver, it sucks to feel like you're constantly getting rained on.
Since I'm being honest, as I typically try to be on this thing, I'll just admit that these are the times I struggle with God and faith the most - that is to say, when things are just kind of average. Not good, not bad, things just kind of...are. These are the times the comparison bug kicks my tail up and down the sidewalk. And these are the times when words just aren't enough.
These are the times that I know I can quote a thousand Bible verses about God having a plan for us and for everything working for our good and how He's watching over us and these are the times that I don't believe them. At all. (And...for the record...I can say this here because I've already told God about it. He's big enough to handle it.) It's not that I don't believe in God. It's just that the words aren't enough. The silver lining isn't enough.
And who knows? Maybe this is a patience issue. Maybe it's the comparison thing. Maybe it's a faith issue. I don't know. I guess it helps to write about it.
-chandler
Part of being moody is being frustrated, and I am REALLY good at being frustrated. Really good at it. And I'm also really good at not being able to deal with it. It's that time when you're bored or mad or whatever and nothing can fix it - I can't even find solace in playing guitar because I just wind up angry that I can't write a song or remember stuff from memory and I can't just do it. Music doesn't even work because I can't find anything that helps and then I do and it's just one song and my iTunes plays 850 other songs that I don't even like and it just gets more and more frustrating.
But, in the process of fast forwarding through a couple of hundred songs (really not an exaggeration) I came across Relient K's "The Lining is Silver". The chorus of the song says:
Isn't it nice to know
[Isn't it nice to know]
That the lining is silver
Isn't it nice to know
[Isn't it nice to know]
That we're golden
Yeah we're golden
Oh
And the answer is yeah, it is nice to know. But even though the lining is silver, it sucks to feel like you're constantly getting rained on.
Since I'm being honest, as I typically try to be on this thing, I'll just admit that these are the times I struggle with God and faith the most - that is to say, when things are just kind of average. Not good, not bad, things just kind of...are. These are the times the comparison bug kicks my tail up and down the sidewalk. And these are the times when words just aren't enough.
These are the times that I know I can quote a thousand Bible verses about God having a plan for us and for everything working for our good and how He's watching over us and these are the times that I don't believe them. At all. (And...for the record...I can say this here because I've already told God about it. He's big enough to handle it.) It's not that I don't believe in God. It's just that the words aren't enough. The silver lining isn't enough.
And who knows? Maybe this is a patience issue. Maybe it's the comparison thing. Maybe it's a faith issue. I don't know. I guess it helps to write about it.
-chandler
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Oxford, Mississippi
Goodbyes suck.
Seriously. They do. As many times as I've had to participate in these dreadful events, you'd think they get easier. They don't.
Tonight, my good friend Curt Liles officially announced something we all knew - he's stepping down as the middle school pastor at Crossgates Baptist Church to head to Oxford to start a church. And though I knew it was coming, and have known for a couple of weeks, it wasn't an easy thing to hear, and it's something that probably won't set in for a while.
I haven't had the privilege of knowing Curt for very long, seeing as we officially met in January, but my mom (who is also on staff at CBC) has been telling me for quite some time that he and I would hit it off and that we are a lot alike. And over the past six months I've literally been scared at how similar we are. From our love for all things Ole Miss to video games to just the overall weirdness both of us possess, it is a bit scary. But it's the similarities that make this goodbye thing bittersweet instead of just bitter.
One of the biggest things we have in common is our heart for Oxford, Mississippi. People always say Ole Miss is the best 5 or 6 (or seven) years of your life, and there were definitely times that statement rang true for me. It's an amazing town that is always going to have a special place in my heart.
But Oxford is in need of something that's not there. For a town in the Bible belt, it's surprisingly dark. But I don't think it's a town that is hostile to the gospel - in fact I think it's hungry. And I think that when someone gets there and starts preaching AND living truth, it's going to spread like wildfire. I really believe that. I'm not saying that I think the churches there just suck and are failing and all of that, but I do know from experience the town needs something that's not currently there. It's frustrating to me because I spend a lot of time on Ole Miss message boards and whenever the issue for Sunday alcohol sales comes up, the Baptist churches go crazy and whip up a huge frenzy and vote it down and then they disappear again, and seeing people's reaction to all of this is heartbreaking because people just look and say "oh, Sunday sales are up for vote again, here come the Christians" and then "oh, Sunday sales got shot down again, there go the Christians." And it's frustrating.
Oxford needs a church that is going to be more than that. Part of why I loved RUF so much was because I felt like they were good in this area - both desiring truth and living a Christian life. Not just harping on alcohol, and not just trying to "live in the spirit" with no sense of direction or doctrine or truth, but finding the balance. And that's what I think Curt is going to do, but hopefully out of the university setting.
I also understand that it's not a complete and total goodbye. Oxford is still my home away from home and now I have yet another excuse/reason to go. I can't wait to see what God has in store for Curt, Stephanie, and Laney, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for Oxford. It's going to be big.
Also, for any of the Oxford peeps that happen to read this, be on the lookout. It's gonna get freaky real soon.
-chanchan
Seriously. They do. As many times as I've had to participate in these dreadful events, you'd think they get easier. They don't.
Tonight, my good friend Curt Liles officially announced something we all knew - he's stepping down as the middle school pastor at Crossgates Baptist Church to head to Oxford to start a church. And though I knew it was coming, and have known for a couple of weeks, it wasn't an easy thing to hear, and it's something that probably won't set in for a while.
I haven't had the privilege of knowing Curt for very long, seeing as we officially met in January, but my mom (who is also on staff at CBC) has been telling me for quite some time that he and I would hit it off and that we are a lot alike. And over the past six months I've literally been scared at how similar we are. From our love for all things Ole Miss to video games to just the overall weirdness both of us possess, it is a bit scary. But it's the similarities that make this goodbye thing bittersweet instead of just bitter.
One of the biggest things we have in common is our heart for Oxford, Mississippi. People always say Ole Miss is the best 5 or 6 (or seven) years of your life, and there were definitely times that statement rang true for me. It's an amazing town that is always going to have a special place in my heart.
But Oxford is in need of something that's not there. For a town in the Bible belt, it's surprisingly dark. But I don't think it's a town that is hostile to the gospel - in fact I think it's hungry. And I think that when someone gets there and starts preaching AND living truth, it's going to spread like wildfire. I really believe that. I'm not saying that I think the churches there just suck and are failing and all of that, but I do know from experience the town needs something that's not currently there. It's frustrating to me because I spend a lot of time on Ole Miss message boards and whenever the issue for Sunday alcohol sales comes up, the Baptist churches go crazy and whip up a huge frenzy and vote it down and then they disappear again, and seeing people's reaction to all of this is heartbreaking because people just look and say "oh, Sunday sales are up for vote again, here come the Christians" and then "oh, Sunday sales got shot down again, there go the Christians." And it's frustrating.
Oxford needs a church that is going to be more than that. Part of why I loved RUF so much was because I felt like they were good in this area - both desiring truth and living a Christian life. Not just harping on alcohol, and not just trying to "live in the spirit" with no sense of direction or doctrine or truth, but finding the balance. And that's what I think Curt is going to do, but hopefully out of the university setting.
I also understand that it's not a complete and total goodbye. Oxford is still my home away from home and now I have yet another excuse/reason to go. I can't wait to see what God has in store for Curt, Stephanie, and Laney, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for Oxford. It's going to be big.
Also, for any of the Oxford peeps that happen to read this, be on the lookout. It's gonna get freaky real soon.
-chanchan
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Redemption Project - Mission Tour 2010
Before I get started, let it be known that this is a time that I really wish I were interested at all in photography, because this past week would have presented hundreds of opportunities to take pictures of stuff. But I will leave that up to my good friend (and very talented photographer) Sarah, and you can see pictures and stuff from our trip here.
So this past week I got to experience my first ever Mission Tour with Crossgates Baptist Church, and I have to say, it was a very frustrating, tiring, and at times downright annoying trip. Yet, at the same time, it was phenomenal. I mean really - even though I'm going to try, there's no way to sum this thing up with words. It was a comedy of errors in a lot of ways, but it was definitely proof that God has a sense of humor. And as I thought about what to title this post, (Plan B, The Comedy of Errors, Mission Tour 2010, The Notebook, The CBC Wrecking Crew, etc.) only one phrase from the entire week stuck with me: The Redemption Project. Technically we only helped out with that particular project on the last day, but looking back it sums up our trip perfectly.
First, though, a parable.
Luke 10:25-37:
[25] And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” [26] He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” [27] And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” [28] And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”
[29] But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” [30] Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. [31] Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. [32] So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. [33] But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. [34] He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. [35] And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ [36] Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” [37] He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”
This is significant. I'm still unpacking the ins and outs of it in my mind, and it's like a new revelation every time I think about it, but this passage is the crux of any kind of mission work. And I don't mean the kind of mission work that sends you to some place to just yell really loud about the Bible and get some people to pray some prayers and then you leave them, because...well, I don't think that really does anything but feed your ego. I'm talking about real, tangible work - serving and proclaiming the gospel. And though there was no animosity from our group towards the people of Nashville, in this instance we were the Samaritans. At least in the sense of us observing some people in desperate need of help and offering it. And this parable is a story about who we are called to love and who is our neighbor, but just like every other one of Jesus' teachings, it also proclaims the gospel. Because while we saw people in need of help and Jesus allowed us to be a part of his plan and offer that help, we have to recognize ourselves as the helpless person beaten within an inch of our lives and Christ as our good Samaritan before we can be that to anyone else.
Simply put, our work this week was a tangible, physical, obvious representation of the Gospel. I found it interesting that most of our work depended on destruction, and I couldn't help but think about the houses we worked on as an example of our own lives and our own sanctification. In our own lives, before God can build anything, he has to tear down the junk we've built up in our lives. We try to bring our own accomplishments before God - our own righteousness - and he laughs. Isaiah says that our righteousness is but filthy rags before God. And so our righteousness must be torn down before God can start to instill his own into us. I told my room that. It's something that ran through my mind all week and the weight of it becomes heavier and heavier the more I think about it. It literally blows my mind.
But yeah. The trip was incredible. God showed up in a lot of ways - whether it was literally moving a storm around us so that we could perform in the park, keeping us safe from our really nice (but not always attentive) bus drivers, giving us stuff to do when the weather got rough, or just the grace of having around 100 people do manual labor that was somewhat dangerous and nobody being seriously injured, God showed up.
For me, though, the coolest part of the trip was what happened on Thursday. Driving back from Nashville, we passed through Madison, Alabama, and helped out with a church some former CBC members, (and dear friends) Mark and Staci Sellers. They helped plant a church a few years ago (and God help me but I'm blanking on the name) and they finally have acquired a building that they are renovating into their church. The project of converting the building into a church has been dubbed "The Redemption Project" because the building used to be a strip club. When I heard that, I almost broke down at the beauty of what was happening. A building that used to be the pinnacle of brokenness and despair is being turned into a literal light on a hill to serve that whole city.
And that, my friends, is what Christianity is all about. It's about redemption. And redemption is possible because Christ defeated death and all of the crap that goes along with it. And because of that, we, who were once dead, get to participate in His incredible plan. All because there's a tomb in the Middle East somewhere that's empty.
Beautiful, y'all. Just beautiful.
-chanchan
So this past week I got to experience my first ever Mission Tour with Crossgates Baptist Church, and I have to say, it was a very frustrating, tiring, and at times downright annoying trip. Yet, at the same time, it was phenomenal. I mean really - even though I'm going to try, there's no way to sum this thing up with words. It was a comedy of errors in a lot of ways, but it was definitely proof that God has a sense of humor. And as I thought about what to title this post, (Plan B, The Comedy of Errors, Mission Tour 2010, The Notebook, The CBC Wrecking Crew, etc.) only one phrase from the entire week stuck with me: The Redemption Project. Technically we only helped out with that particular project on the last day, but looking back it sums up our trip perfectly.
First, though, a parable.
Luke 10:25-37:
[25] And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” [26] He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” [27] And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” [28] And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”
[29] But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” [30] Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. [31] Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. [32] So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. [33] But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. [34] He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. [35] And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ [36] Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” [37] He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”
This is significant. I'm still unpacking the ins and outs of it in my mind, and it's like a new revelation every time I think about it, but this passage is the crux of any kind of mission work. And I don't mean the kind of mission work that sends you to some place to just yell really loud about the Bible and get some people to pray some prayers and then you leave them, because...well, I don't think that really does anything but feed your ego. I'm talking about real, tangible work - serving and proclaiming the gospel. And though there was no animosity from our group towards the people of Nashville, in this instance we were the Samaritans. At least in the sense of us observing some people in desperate need of help and offering it. And this parable is a story about who we are called to love and who is our neighbor, but just like every other one of Jesus' teachings, it also proclaims the gospel. Because while we saw people in need of help and Jesus allowed us to be a part of his plan and offer that help, we have to recognize ourselves as the helpless person beaten within an inch of our lives and Christ as our good Samaritan before we can be that to anyone else.
Simply put, our work this week was a tangible, physical, obvious representation of the Gospel. I found it interesting that most of our work depended on destruction, and I couldn't help but think about the houses we worked on as an example of our own lives and our own sanctification. In our own lives, before God can build anything, he has to tear down the junk we've built up in our lives. We try to bring our own accomplishments before God - our own righteousness - and he laughs. Isaiah says that our righteousness is but filthy rags before God. And so our righteousness must be torn down before God can start to instill his own into us. I told my room that. It's something that ran through my mind all week and the weight of it becomes heavier and heavier the more I think about it. It literally blows my mind.
But yeah. The trip was incredible. God showed up in a lot of ways - whether it was literally moving a storm around us so that we could perform in the park, keeping us safe from our really nice (but not always attentive) bus drivers, giving us stuff to do when the weather got rough, or just the grace of having around 100 people do manual labor that was somewhat dangerous and nobody being seriously injured, God showed up.
For me, though, the coolest part of the trip was what happened on Thursday. Driving back from Nashville, we passed through Madison, Alabama, and helped out with a church some former CBC members, (and dear friends) Mark and Staci Sellers. They helped plant a church a few years ago (and God help me but I'm blanking on the name) and they finally have acquired a building that they are renovating into their church. The project of converting the building into a church has been dubbed "The Redemption Project" because the building used to be a strip club. When I heard that, I almost broke down at the beauty of what was happening. A building that used to be the pinnacle of brokenness and despair is being turned into a literal light on a hill to serve that whole city.
And that, my friends, is what Christianity is all about. It's about redemption. And redemption is possible because Christ defeated death and all of the crap that goes along with it. And because of that, we, who were once dead, get to participate in His incredible plan. All because there's a tomb in the Middle East somewhere that's empty.
Beautiful, y'all. Just beautiful.
-chanchan
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Restlessness Inside
Change in life is inevitable. Sometimes, you never see it coming, like when you find out your co-worker is a vampire by watching him bite his girlfriend's neck on an A&E documentary. That changes your life in ways you probably can't imagine. But that's also the kind that blindsides you. Sometimes it's something completely ridiculous like Phil the Vampire, sometimes it's serious like death, or sometimes it's incredible, but it blindsides you.
But sometimes you feel change coming. Maybe it comes when you know stuff is on the horizon that hasn't been made public yet, maybe it comes when you've just been feeling it, and maybe it's God telling you to get ready, but you just feel it.
Right now I have an incredible sense of foreboding that pretty major change is coming. Maybe even really soon. But I think it's coming. I mean, I'll obviously need to be finding a job soon, but with that likely comes changing churches which means...well...it means a lot of things. Hopefully with the job comes a new place to live, and with that just a general sense of responsibility that comes with growing up and facing life head on.
The thing that gets me about all of this, though, is that I've realized that I am what's hindering the change. I've more or less dragged my feet in several areas, and they've all been in the name of some "good" things, but I'm going to go crazy if I don't quit screwing around and just dive headfirst into something.
This isn't as insightful as I had maybe hoped it would be, but it's just something I needed to get off my chest. My soul is restless and it's time to do something about it.
But sometimes you feel change coming. Maybe it comes when you know stuff is on the horizon that hasn't been made public yet, maybe it comes when you've just been feeling it, and maybe it's God telling you to get ready, but you just feel it.
Right now I have an incredible sense of foreboding that pretty major change is coming. Maybe even really soon. But I think it's coming. I mean, I'll obviously need to be finding a job soon, but with that likely comes changing churches which means...well...it means a lot of things. Hopefully with the job comes a new place to live, and with that just a general sense of responsibility that comes with growing up and facing life head on.
The thing that gets me about all of this, though, is that I've realized that I am what's hindering the change. I've more or less dragged my feet in several areas, and they've all been in the name of some "good" things, but I'm going to go crazy if I don't quit screwing around and just dive headfirst into something.
This isn't as insightful as I had maybe hoped it would be, but it's just something I needed to get off my chest. My soul is restless and it's time to do something about it.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Music (feedback encouraged)
I feel like everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks can more or less be summed up by things related to music that I've dealt with. First, the incredible:
My friend, Marshall FREAKING West, got on stage and sang with Relient K. The best thing about that happening was the fact that it was perhaps simply the icing on the most epic cake of a day that has ever existed. Started off leaving Brandon around noon, and when we hit Tuscaloosa (a city I absolutely despise except for one thing...) we stopped at a record store so Marshall and Matt could check out some vinyls. Lake and I decided that since we were the fat guys and we were hungry, we should definitely eat, and when you are hungry in Tuscaloosa there is only one option - Dreamland. So we did it. It was epic, and it was capped off with free banana pudding. Seriously, what's better than banana pudding? Especially really good banana pudding you didn't pay for? I can think of one thing, but I'm saving that for marriage. So I'm going with best thing in my single, v-card carrying life. Then we headed off to Alabama Adventures, the worst theme park in America, to catch Relient K. We rolled up and realized we were pretty far back in line, so a plan was devised. The four of us were to stand near the merch table until the doors opened, then we'd just walk in. In the process of doing this, we wound up on the front row. Like THE front row. Marshall decided that he wanted to get on stage and sing, so he made a sign saying "please let me sing with you." Pretty much the whole show he got ignored until the final song when Matt Thiessen walked over and stuck the mic in his face. Epic win, right? It gets better, hold on. The band runs off the stage, people chant for an encore, and the guitarist comes up to us and grabs Marshall off the front row and tells him he's singing on "Sadie Hawkins Dance" because Thiessen didn't feel like singing anymore. So Marshall did it. To say we were going nuts is the greatest understatement in the history of understatements. Even a week later, we're all still a little ecstatic. Unbelievable experience, and as if I didn't already love Relient K enough,they assured that day they'd have at least one fan for life.
Now, this is the part where I want some feedback. I realize I probably care about theology way more than most people, which is fine. I also realize I love hymns more than most people (and this article is a good example of why we still need hymns) but my question is this. Does it matter what the writer of a song believes if the song is sung at church? For example, if a song written by a group that denies the existence of the Trinity and denies the doctrine of justification by faith alone, should we just say "well the words are pretty and it builds up to a great worship moment", should we throw it out because it's false teaching, or...should we do something else? I ask this question because I was reading up on Philips, Craig & Dean the other day and they believe some pretty weird things. Particularly being the two mentioned like a sentence before. To me, it's a pretty significant issue.
It goes like this: these guys are all pastors/music pastors at Oneness Pentecostal churches. Oneness Pentecostals believe that God is one being that at different times manifests himself as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, each being temporary and limited in existence. I (and most mainline denominations) believe that The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit are three separate, equal beings that make up God. It's tricky. But I believe scripture backs up the view of the Trinity. Just as one example, John 14:16-17 features Jesus (son) talking about asking his Father (father) to send the Helper (Holy Spirit), which implies that all three are in existence, and that each member is not just God in different manifestations as Oneness Pentecostals suggest. Also, how could three manifestations of the same thing interact with another manifestation of the same thing the same way the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit interact with one another? They also call the belief in the Trinity "polytheism". Interesting.
Now, I can admit that the doctrine of the Trinity is confusing. I don't fully understand it, but based on what I can see in Scripture and what a lot of people I respect have talked about and written, I can accept it. It's pretty vital to what we believe about God, and what you believe about God determines how you act towards him.
That said, it's still a tricky subject. The next one isn't.
I don't see any room in the Gospel, period, for anything other than faith alone. Oneness Pentecostalism, however, doesn't buy it. They believe that you have to a. accept Christ, b. get baptized, and c. speak in tongues. Not only that, but if you baptize in the name of the "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit", you're doing it wrong. Water baptism is ONLY to be performed in the name of Jesus. Then you have the spirit baptism in the Holy Spirit, which involves speaking in tongues.
Paul wrote about that kind of stuff a lot. He talks again and again about how salvation is only linked to Christ's death - not to those other things. Baptism is simply symbolic. Whether you go for covenant baptism (yay!) or believer's baptism, it is not the act that contributes to salvation. Ephesians 2:8-9 says that we are saved by faith, not works, so that no one can boast. There are tons of other verses on it.
So, with all of that said, my question is this: should we be concerned with their beliefs? Because I'm concerned with what we are saying if we just go along with this stuff. I mean, at what point does stuff become so contradictory to scripture that it isn't Christian anymore? I don't want to accuse anyone of anything because I haven't done exhaustive research on Oneness Pentecostalism (actually I just read this article).
I just feel like in our postmodern society, we need to be focusing a lot more on doctrine and affirming right teaching because it is a time where everything comes into question.
Gah I don't know if this made any sense at all...it's kind of confusing to me and I've been mulling it over for a while. Also, I'm sleepy. So I quit for now.
Nite,
<3 chanchan
My friend, Marshall FREAKING West, got on stage and sang with Relient K. The best thing about that happening was the fact that it was perhaps simply the icing on the most epic cake of a day that has ever existed. Started off leaving Brandon around noon, and when we hit Tuscaloosa (a city I absolutely despise except for one thing...) we stopped at a record store so Marshall and Matt could check out some vinyls. Lake and I decided that since we were the fat guys and we were hungry, we should definitely eat, and when you are hungry in Tuscaloosa there is only one option - Dreamland. So we did it. It was epic, and it was capped off with free banana pudding. Seriously, what's better than banana pudding? Especially really good banana pudding you didn't pay for? I can think of one thing, but I'm saving that for marriage. So I'm going with best thing in my single, v-card carrying life. Then we headed off to Alabama Adventures, the worst theme park in America, to catch Relient K. We rolled up and realized we were pretty far back in line, so a plan was devised. The four of us were to stand near the merch table until the doors opened, then we'd just walk in. In the process of doing this, we wound up on the front row. Like THE front row. Marshall decided that he wanted to get on stage and sing, so he made a sign saying "please let me sing with you." Pretty much the whole show he got ignored until the final song when Matt Thiessen walked over and stuck the mic in his face. Epic win, right? It gets better, hold on. The band runs off the stage, people chant for an encore, and the guitarist comes up to us and grabs Marshall off the front row and tells him he's singing on "Sadie Hawkins Dance" because Thiessen didn't feel like singing anymore. So Marshall did it. To say we were going nuts is the greatest understatement in the history of understatements. Even a week later, we're all still a little ecstatic. Unbelievable experience, and as if I didn't already love Relient K enough,they assured that day they'd have at least one fan for life.
Now, this is the part where I want some feedback. I realize I probably care about theology way more than most people, which is fine. I also realize I love hymns more than most people (and this article is a good example of why we still need hymns) but my question is this. Does it matter what the writer of a song believes if the song is sung at church? For example, if a song written by a group that denies the existence of the Trinity and denies the doctrine of justification by faith alone, should we just say "well the words are pretty and it builds up to a great worship moment", should we throw it out because it's false teaching, or...should we do something else? I ask this question because I was reading up on Philips, Craig & Dean the other day and they believe some pretty weird things. Particularly being the two mentioned like a sentence before. To me, it's a pretty significant issue.
It goes like this: these guys are all pastors/music pastors at Oneness Pentecostal churches. Oneness Pentecostals believe that God is one being that at different times manifests himself as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, each being temporary and limited in existence. I (and most mainline denominations) believe that The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit are three separate, equal beings that make up God. It's tricky. But I believe scripture backs up the view of the Trinity. Just as one example, John 14:16-17 features Jesus (son) talking about asking his Father (father) to send the Helper (Holy Spirit), which implies that all three are in existence, and that each member is not just God in different manifestations as Oneness Pentecostals suggest. Also, how could three manifestations of the same thing interact with another manifestation of the same thing the same way the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit interact with one another? They also call the belief in the Trinity "polytheism". Interesting.
Now, I can admit that the doctrine of the Trinity is confusing. I don't fully understand it, but based on what I can see in Scripture and what a lot of people I respect have talked about and written, I can accept it. It's pretty vital to what we believe about God, and what you believe about God determines how you act towards him.
That said, it's still a tricky subject. The next one isn't.
I don't see any room in the Gospel, period, for anything other than faith alone. Oneness Pentecostalism, however, doesn't buy it. They believe that you have to a. accept Christ, b. get baptized, and c. speak in tongues. Not only that, but if you baptize in the name of the "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit", you're doing it wrong. Water baptism is ONLY to be performed in the name of Jesus. Then you have the spirit baptism in the Holy Spirit, which involves speaking in tongues.
Paul wrote about that kind of stuff a lot. He talks again and again about how salvation is only linked to Christ's death - not to those other things. Baptism is simply symbolic. Whether you go for covenant baptism (yay!) or believer's baptism, it is not the act that contributes to salvation. Ephesians 2:8-9 says that we are saved by faith, not works, so that no one can boast. There are tons of other verses on it.
So, with all of that said, my question is this: should we be concerned with their beliefs? Because I'm concerned with what we are saying if we just go along with this stuff. I mean, at what point does stuff become so contradictory to scripture that it isn't Christian anymore? I don't want to accuse anyone of anything because I haven't done exhaustive research on Oneness Pentecostalism (actually I just read this article).
I just feel like in our postmodern society, we need to be focusing a lot more on doctrine and affirming right teaching because it is a time where everything comes into question.
Gah I don't know if this made any sense at all...it's kind of confusing to me and I've been mulling it over for a while. Also, I'm sleepy. So I quit for now.
Nite,
<3 chanchan
Monday, June 14, 2010
Conviction, or: Confessions, pt. II
So 1 Kings 19 describes the voice of God as a "still, small voice." God tells Elijah to wait to hear His voice and He causes an earthquake, a fire, a mighty wind, and some other things, and His voice is not present in any of them. Then comes the still small voice. A breeze. A soft whisper. Which I think is pretty cool, because we expect God to be this big mighty voice that shakes the walls and knocks people over. Which He is certainly capable of. But, this particular passage of the Bible chooses to describe the voice of God as a still, small voice. I think when people hear that phrase, they expect it to be this gentle whisper, this pleasant little thing that just kind of comes along and is all like "Oh, the dear sweet eight pound six ounce baby Jesus wants me to go do this" and they just peacefully move along and easily transition into whatever the 8 lb. 6 oz. version of our Savior wants them to do. But I don't think that's necessarily how it works.
Sometimes, the still small voice doubles as a kick to the nuts.
That expression may be a little crass, but it's the truth. I know because it has been happening to me time and time again over the last 2 weeks. Maybe I'll write about the other stuff some other time, but this time I'm focusing on tonight.
During our evening worship service, Scott Ross spoke briefly and then had some different groups come up and share about their experiences on various mission trips over the last few months. We've had people serving here in Mississippi, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Haiti, and India, and each group had a pretty cool story to tell. The particular story that moved me the most was a story about a lady named Wincey. She had a husband and four kids, but then her husband died and she started to struggle with abusing drugs and alcohol. Then, in an attempt to make some money to keep her home, she started working at a strip club. After three days, she realized enough was enough and reached out to several churches in the area and Crossgates reached out and helped her rebuild a burned out trailer someone had given her. During the story, Wincey actually came down to the front of the church and told bits and pieces of her story with the other guy who was talking. After they finished talking and walked off, something hit me.
A former stripper came down to the front of the church and told her story.
In the church. In a place where people often times feel judged and condemned, this lady felt comfortable enough to do that. That blew my mind, and honestly I was thanking God that I went to a church where something like that could happen.
But throughout the night, as we heard story after story of God's redemptive love moving in incredible ways around the world, I started to hear the voice. I feel like I very clearly heard God tell me "Chandler, this is what I want for you. This is the plan I have for you."
And that was the kick to the balls.
I saw the passion that the people speaking had for other people and for the Gospel and I realized...I don't have that. I'm closer than I was, but I'm not there yet. But the conviction came when I realized I'm the one slowing up the process. I'm the one who sits around and plays XBOX for hours on end. I'm the one who continually flirts with the line in almost every situation. I'm the one who says a quick five minute prayer before I go to sleep. I'm terribly lazy - I pretty much have been my whole life. I mean, I'm the guy who would go to campus, try to find a parking spot, not find a parking spot, and go home. Diligence has just never been a strong suit of mine.
But I realized tonight...I want that passion. I want my heart to break for something - whether it's middle school students at Crossgates (which actually it already has to an extent) or starving old people in Africa, I want that passion.
And I want a deeper passion for the Gospel.
So many times I think people (myself definitely included) look at the Gospel as just...I don't know how to explain it other than to tell a story. I'm paraphrasing, but this is a story from John Piper's Desiring God. He tells the story of a minister who is asked if he were to find out on his deathbed that Jesus was fake, that the whole story was made up, how would it change his life? And the guy answers that he'd be sad, sure, but he could at least take solace in the fact he was nice to other people, helped people, and just generally lived a good life.
Piper makes the point that that is the WRONG answer. 1 Corinthians 15:17 says that if Christ is not risen then our faith is FUTILE. If this isn't true...if this isn't real, we are wasting our lives. But if it is, and I believe it, my life has purpose. My life is not just there, it is real and purposeful.
And so...why don't I live that way? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I not do the things I don't do?
I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to sit back and just let stuff happen - I want to take life head on. I want my heart to break for something, for someone. Like I said, I'm getting there, but I'm the one slowing this up.
I have no idea what I'm going to do - no clue what's going to change this or if it even will any time soon. But eventually it will. Eventually it's going to. I just don't want it to happen five years from now and I realize...hey, I should have done this years ago.
I also realize that this life is not performance based. It's not up to be to initiate any of this, and I definitely can't do it without a calling. But if I'm called, and I just sit there...well, that's a bad idea too.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts at 2:30 in the morning.
<3chanchan
Sometimes, the still small voice doubles as a kick to the nuts.
That expression may be a little crass, but it's the truth. I know because it has been happening to me time and time again over the last 2 weeks. Maybe I'll write about the other stuff some other time, but this time I'm focusing on tonight.
During our evening worship service, Scott Ross spoke briefly and then had some different groups come up and share about their experiences on various mission trips over the last few months. We've had people serving here in Mississippi, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Haiti, and India, and each group had a pretty cool story to tell. The particular story that moved me the most was a story about a lady named Wincey. She had a husband and four kids, but then her husband died and she started to struggle with abusing drugs and alcohol. Then, in an attempt to make some money to keep her home, she started working at a strip club. After three days, she realized enough was enough and reached out to several churches in the area and Crossgates reached out and helped her rebuild a burned out trailer someone had given her. During the story, Wincey actually came down to the front of the church and told bits and pieces of her story with the other guy who was talking. After they finished talking and walked off, something hit me.
A former stripper came down to the front of the church and told her story.
In the church. In a place where people often times feel judged and condemned, this lady felt comfortable enough to do that. That blew my mind, and honestly I was thanking God that I went to a church where something like that could happen.
But throughout the night, as we heard story after story of God's redemptive love moving in incredible ways around the world, I started to hear the voice. I feel like I very clearly heard God tell me "Chandler, this is what I want for you. This is the plan I have for you."
And that was the kick to the balls.
I saw the passion that the people speaking had for other people and for the Gospel and I realized...I don't have that. I'm closer than I was, but I'm not there yet. But the conviction came when I realized I'm the one slowing up the process. I'm the one who sits around and plays XBOX for hours on end. I'm the one who continually flirts with the line in almost every situation. I'm the one who says a quick five minute prayer before I go to sleep. I'm terribly lazy - I pretty much have been my whole life. I mean, I'm the guy who would go to campus, try to find a parking spot, not find a parking spot, and go home. Diligence has just never been a strong suit of mine.
But I realized tonight...I want that passion. I want my heart to break for something - whether it's middle school students at Crossgates (which actually it already has to an extent) or starving old people in Africa, I want that passion.
And I want a deeper passion for the Gospel.
So many times I think people (myself definitely included) look at the Gospel as just...I don't know how to explain it other than to tell a story. I'm paraphrasing, but this is a story from John Piper's Desiring God. He tells the story of a minister who is asked if he were to find out on his deathbed that Jesus was fake, that the whole story was made up, how would it change his life? And the guy answers that he'd be sad, sure, but he could at least take solace in the fact he was nice to other people, helped people, and just generally lived a good life.
Piper makes the point that that is the WRONG answer. 1 Corinthians 15:17 says that if Christ is not risen then our faith is FUTILE. If this isn't true...if this isn't real, we are wasting our lives. But if it is, and I believe it, my life has purpose. My life is not just there, it is real and purposeful.
And so...why don't I live that way? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I not do the things I don't do?
I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to sit back and just let stuff happen - I want to take life head on. I want my heart to break for something, for someone. Like I said, I'm getting there, but I'm the one slowing this up.
I have no idea what I'm going to do - no clue what's going to change this or if it even will any time soon. But eventually it will. Eventually it's going to. I just don't want it to happen five years from now and I realize...hey, I should have done this years ago.
I also realize that this life is not performance based. It's not up to be to initiate any of this, and I definitely can't do it without a calling. But if I'm called, and I just sit there...well, that's a bad idea too.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts at 2:30 in the morning.
<3chanchan
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Geocaching, Good Friends, and the Gospel
So when I told people I was going on a mission trip to Hawaii, most of them kind of laughed it off with a "yeah right" kind of smirk, and I have to admit, for a mission trip it was pretty cushy. We stayed in a super nice house on a golf course and had a crew cab z71 to drive around as much as we wanted. Not quite the same digs my friends on the Haiti team (praying for you guys...come home safely!) are staying in this week, but upon getting settled in and getting started, it became evident what a place of need we were in.
Hawaii has a reputation for being this tropical paradise where life is perfect and is nothing more than a getaway for the rich and famous. Nothing could be further than the truth. Somebody has to work at the airports, somebody has to tend the grounds at the golf courses, somebody has to drive the boats, somebody has to work at the resorts, and everything else in between. So, while the tropical paradise reality exists, there is another side that the tourist types never see.
That was the side we got to see.
The island of Lanai is a really small island that used to be a pineapple plantation. Not going to go into a lot of detail about the history of the place, but it's not a pineapple plantation anymore and most of the people that live there work at the resorts. There's a good bit of poverty on the island and seeing as tourism is their main source of income, and the tourism industry is kind of taking a hit because of the economy, people are having to leave the island to find work and things like that. So it's not exactly the tropical paradise a lot of people expect it to be.
I say all of that to kind of set the scene for the incredible week we had. God definitely showed up and did an incredible work there on the island and also in my own life.
So here goes:
What we actually did was a music camp. From 8:30 in the morning until noon I hung out with anywhere between 18 and 25 kids while they learned a bunch of new songs, several of which were nothing more than just Bible verses set to music. Also, let me say this: I hate children's music. But, seeing those kids get so excited about the fact that people were there to invest in their lives and spend time with them, but way more importantly, seeing them get so fired up about the Bible made it completely and totally worth it.
I got to know several of the kids, and they were so much fun to hang out with. One in particular, a kid named Kalei, was so much fun to watch. He started off the week as kind of a troublemaker who was really hyper and didn't really want to do what everyone else did, but throughout the week he got more and more in to what was going on and finally by Friday night, when we did the program for all the kids parents, he was up there singing his heart out and dancing and just going on and having a blast. Same story with several other kids.
We also saw several kids accept Christ. I'm not really sure how it works when kids get saved...I mean honestly I speak from my own experience because when I was 8 or 9 I really didn't understand the concepts of spiritual death and new life and being a new creation and grace and anything like that. BUT - in spite of that, the Gospel was presented and something was obviously going on in those kids lives. On top of that, for the kids who didn't necessarily respond, I have no doubt seeds were planted. It was so cool to see the things God was doing in the kids lives, and then having the chance to see the Gospel proclaimed to their parents.
The other thing that really stood out to me was David Crim and his wife, Cindy. David is the pastor at Lanai Baptist Church, and what God is doing on the island through them is incredible. They are reaching out to people, getting to know them, inviting into their home. I believe, and have for a while, that effective ministry is done relationally, and that's definitely what's happening there. It seemed like they knew everyone.
God moved in me in a big way, too. He started to convict me of some things in my own life, particularly concerning my prayer life. I'm interested to see where this goes.
Outside of the music camp, we got to see some pretty cool sights in Lanai. The beaches were beautiful, the ocean itself is phenomenal. We got to go up on a mountain and saw a wrecked naval ship (they obviously were not in the same place). Just the thought of being able to look out over the ocean and see another island was breathtaking. I mean words really can't describe the sights, and I wish they could. During the process of seeing the sights, I also found a couple of geocaches, which was pretty amazing.
Finally, as an added bonus, I got to spend Saturday with my friend Anella. We worked at Malibu together in 2007 and we have been pretty good at keeping up over the years. It just so happened that were both on Maui at the same time, so I rented a car and drove to her condo and we just spent the day swimming and reading and getting totally sunburned. It was so encouraging and refreshing to get to see her.
This post didn't turn out the way I had hoped, but mostly because I just can't find the words to describe it. Hopefully I can get a hold of the pictures from the trip, which should be able to describe it a little better. But it was an incredible trip and one I will remember forever.
Mahalo (thanks) for reading.
-chanchan
Hawaii has a reputation for being this tropical paradise where life is perfect and is nothing more than a getaway for the rich and famous. Nothing could be further than the truth. Somebody has to work at the airports, somebody has to tend the grounds at the golf courses, somebody has to drive the boats, somebody has to work at the resorts, and everything else in between. So, while the tropical paradise reality exists, there is another side that the tourist types never see.
That was the side we got to see.
The island of Lanai is a really small island that used to be a pineapple plantation. Not going to go into a lot of detail about the history of the place, but it's not a pineapple plantation anymore and most of the people that live there work at the resorts. There's a good bit of poverty on the island and seeing as tourism is their main source of income, and the tourism industry is kind of taking a hit because of the economy, people are having to leave the island to find work and things like that. So it's not exactly the tropical paradise a lot of people expect it to be.
I say all of that to kind of set the scene for the incredible week we had. God definitely showed up and did an incredible work there on the island and also in my own life.
So here goes:
What we actually did was a music camp. From 8:30 in the morning until noon I hung out with anywhere between 18 and 25 kids while they learned a bunch of new songs, several of which were nothing more than just Bible verses set to music. Also, let me say this: I hate children's music. But, seeing those kids get so excited about the fact that people were there to invest in their lives and spend time with them, but way more importantly, seeing them get so fired up about the Bible made it completely and totally worth it.
I got to know several of the kids, and they were so much fun to hang out with. One in particular, a kid named Kalei, was so much fun to watch. He started off the week as kind of a troublemaker who was really hyper and didn't really want to do what everyone else did, but throughout the week he got more and more in to what was going on and finally by Friday night, when we did the program for all the kids parents, he was up there singing his heart out and dancing and just going on and having a blast. Same story with several other kids.
We also saw several kids accept Christ. I'm not really sure how it works when kids get saved...I mean honestly I speak from my own experience because when I was 8 or 9 I really didn't understand the concepts of spiritual death and new life and being a new creation and grace and anything like that. BUT - in spite of that, the Gospel was presented and something was obviously going on in those kids lives. On top of that, for the kids who didn't necessarily respond, I have no doubt seeds were planted. It was so cool to see the things God was doing in the kids lives, and then having the chance to see the Gospel proclaimed to their parents.
The other thing that really stood out to me was David Crim and his wife, Cindy. David is the pastor at Lanai Baptist Church, and what God is doing on the island through them is incredible. They are reaching out to people, getting to know them, inviting into their home. I believe, and have for a while, that effective ministry is done relationally, and that's definitely what's happening there. It seemed like they knew everyone.
God moved in me in a big way, too. He started to convict me of some things in my own life, particularly concerning my prayer life. I'm interested to see where this goes.
Outside of the music camp, we got to see some pretty cool sights in Lanai. The beaches were beautiful, the ocean itself is phenomenal. We got to go up on a mountain and saw a wrecked naval ship (they obviously were not in the same place). Just the thought of being able to look out over the ocean and see another island was breathtaking. I mean words really can't describe the sights, and I wish they could. During the process of seeing the sights, I also found a couple of geocaches, which was pretty amazing.
Finally, as an added bonus, I got to spend Saturday with my friend Anella. We worked at Malibu together in 2007 and we have been pretty good at keeping up over the years. It just so happened that were both on Maui at the same time, so I rented a car and drove to her condo and we just spent the day swimming and reading and getting totally sunburned. It was so encouraging and refreshing to get to see her.
This post didn't turn out the way I had hoped, but mostly because I just can't find the words to describe it. Hopefully I can get a hold of the pictures from the trip, which should be able to describe it a little better. But it was an incredible trip and one I will remember forever.
Mahalo (thanks) for reading.
-chanchan
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Ramblings
It's 3:23 in the morning at home, but here in Hawaii, it is 10:23 at night and I am still wide awake more or less. I thought about doing several things, but I just don't feel like doing any of them. Some of them include:
-reading the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (I may do this later, actually)
-watching The Boondock Saints
-doing P90X - I have been majorly slacking off this week...not good
I am obviously not doing any of those things. I'm actually sitting here, listening to the Avett Brothers: Live, Vol. 2, and thinking about the week and what's been going on. And I have come up with some different thoughts, probably none long enough on their own to make one solitary post about. So...here are some ramblings:
Church. Just a precursor: everything I mention about having a problem with the church is something I am guilty of, too. So I'm not casting stones. I've been thinking a lot about church lately. What it is, what it should look like, things like that. And one thing that is disheartening to me about a lot of churches is that it seems like they are trying to isolate themselves from the world. I mean, think about it. Some churches have their own gyms, their own coffee shops, their own schools, their own bookstores, their own...shoot, you name it and they have it. I remember a few weeks ago I wound up at a church in Hattiesburg, MS (dreadful town, BTW) and walking around and literally feeling my spirit crushed because of the symbol of Christian excess this church seemed to be. Looking at everything in there, there was no reason whatsoever for a member of that church to ever interact with a person who was not a Christian. Shoot, there wasn't even any reason for a member of that church to interact with a member of another church. The reason that society is "degrading" or whatever it is doing is because we, as Christians, are removing the light from the world. I don't necessarily think it is Satan at work (in some cases it obviously is, but I think a lot of Christians are too quick to write off bad stuff happening as the work of the devil), but I think it is the fact that a. Christians are withdrawing from public schools, the local Y, the coffee shop downtown with the weird looking kids working at it, whatever it may be, and b. in the absence of the light, natural man is just acting like...well...natural man. Obviously in some places our enemy is working and doing things, but I think we want to just say "oh that's the work of the devil" so that we can absolve ourselves of responsibility. But the Bible describes the human heart as wicked! Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" It's just the condition of totally depraved man. So, when you take the light out of a place, the darkness prevails.
Calvinism. I'm pretty sure I'm a full fledged, five point Calvinist now. Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited atonement, Irresistible grace, and the Perseverance of the saints.
The Baptist Faith and Message. I just read it (http://www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp#x). I agree with most of it, which surprised me a little bit. Part of what I have a hard time agreeing with is the stance on baptism, which states "Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." It goes on to be a lot longer, but my problem with the statement listed is that...where is that scriptural? I haven't seen anywhere in the Bible that emphatically states "this is the right way to do baptism and not that way." I've come to a point where I see the great merit in both believer's baptism AND in covenant baptism (which many would label "infant" baptism, though that's not necessarily what it always is.) It ultimately boils down to a heart issue, but "Christian baptism is the immersion...?" Is it really? I don't think immersion is wrong. I don't think covenant baptism is THE be all end all to the baptism debate. But I also have a hard time going with something that says that the Christian way of life is emphatically this, and therefore not that, when scripture is not clear on the issue. Personally, I have come to believe it is a sign of the new covenant, similar to the way circumcision was the sign of the old covenant. One major objection to covenant baptism is that often times, babies are being baptized, and people say "well that baby doesn't know what it's doing!" But they didn't exactly have any say in circumcision at 8 days old, either. This point actually probably could be turned into an entire post, but I'm not going to do that. Another interesting point of the BF&M is point XVI, "Peace and War." It says that Christians are to seek peace with all men on principles of righteousness, and that Christians should seek to end war at all costs. I agree with this completely, but I'm afraid we've done a pretty poor job of it. I'm as guilty of this as anyone - I remember back in 2003 when I heard that we had attacked Iraq, I was literally excited. It literally was like some kind of bloodlust for war. Funny how seven years later, that war is still raging. And the church, the politically conservative, Christian, evangelical church has remained largely silent on the issue. I think we can both support our soldiers (as we should - it is not their call to go to war) while still oppose the war itself.
Morality. In line with what I said earlier, about saying "this or that is emphatically right", where does a lot of our morality come from? Alcohol is the best example I can come up with right now (my body does still feel like it's on central time, ha), but as southerners, where do we come up with this idea that alcohol is completely and totally wrong? I mean, Proverbs 20:1 says that "wine is a mocker and beer [or strong drink] is a brawler." OK...so if it's across the board wrong, the New Testament would affirm that, right? Well, in Paul's description of what a deacon, or overseer, should be, doesn't seem to say that it's completely wrong. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 suggests that they should be temperate, not abstinent. Further, 1 Corinthians 6:12 says everything is lawful, but not everything is helpful; everything is lawful, but I shall not be enslaved by anything. Obviously, if it becomes a controlling thing, it's wrong, but the same standard applies to...anything. Caffeine. Chocolate. Church. Money. Cars. Sex. Music. Fame. Anything! So why does alcohol get such special treatment? I just don't understand why it's such a big deal.
Sports. I am sick of college baseball. I want this season to be over, so we can move on to thinking about football. I want to learn golf, too.
Movies. Can't wait to see the A-Team. This summer has been solid with movies so far and should only get better.
Music. Been listening to Matt Costa, Mumford & Sons, and of course the Avetts. Lots of other stuff too, but those are the main 3. Jon Foreman is good, but sometimes can be super super whiny.
So those are some things I have been mulling over lately. My mind has been working overtime, it seems, but I'm having a blast in Hawaii. A full report from the trip will come when I get back.
Insomnia is for winners
<3 chanchan
-reading the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (I may do this later, actually)
-watching The Boondock Saints
-doing P90X - I have been majorly slacking off this week...not good
I am obviously not doing any of those things. I'm actually sitting here, listening to the Avett Brothers: Live, Vol. 2, and thinking about the week and what's been going on. And I have come up with some different thoughts, probably none long enough on their own to make one solitary post about. So...here are some ramblings:
Church. Just a precursor: everything I mention about having a problem with the church is something I am guilty of, too. So I'm not casting stones. I've been thinking a lot about church lately. What it is, what it should look like, things like that. And one thing that is disheartening to me about a lot of churches is that it seems like they are trying to isolate themselves from the world. I mean, think about it. Some churches have their own gyms, their own coffee shops, their own schools, their own bookstores, their own...shoot, you name it and they have it. I remember a few weeks ago I wound up at a church in Hattiesburg, MS (dreadful town, BTW) and walking around and literally feeling my spirit crushed because of the symbol of Christian excess this church seemed to be. Looking at everything in there, there was no reason whatsoever for a member of that church to ever interact with a person who was not a Christian. Shoot, there wasn't even any reason for a member of that church to interact with a member of another church. The reason that society is "degrading" or whatever it is doing is because we, as Christians, are removing the light from the world. I don't necessarily think it is Satan at work (in some cases it obviously is, but I think a lot of Christians are too quick to write off bad stuff happening as the work of the devil), but I think it is the fact that a. Christians are withdrawing from public schools, the local Y, the coffee shop downtown with the weird looking kids working at it, whatever it may be, and b. in the absence of the light, natural man is just acting like...well...natural man. Obviously in some places our enemy is working and doing things, but I think we want to just say "oh that's the work of the devil" so that we can absolve ourselves of responsibility. But the Bible describes the human heart as wicked! Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" It's just the condition of totally depraved man. So, when you take the light out of a place, the darkness prevails.
Calvinism. I'm pretty sure I'm a full fledged, five point Calvinist now. Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited atonement, Irresistible grace, and the Perseverance of the saints.
The Baptist Faith and Message. I just read it (http://www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp#x). I agree with most of it, which surprised me a little bit. Part of what I have a hard time agreeing with is the stance on baptism, which states "Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." It goes on to be a lot longer, but my problem with the statement listed is that...where is that scriptural? I haven't seen anywhere in the Bible that emphatically states "this is the right way to do baptism and not that way." I've come to a point where I see the great merit in both believer's baptism AND in covenant baptism (which many would label "infant" baptism, though that's not necessarily what it always is.) It ultimately boils down to a heart issue, but "Christian baptism is the immersion...?" Is it really? I don't think immersion is wrong. I don't think covenant baptism is THE be all end all to the baptism debate. But I also have a hard time going with something that says that the Christian way of life is emphatically this, and therefore not that, when scripture is not clear on the issue. Personally, I have come to believe it is a sign of the new covenant, similar to the way circumcision was the sign of the old covenant. One major objection to covenant baptism is that often times, babies are being baptized, and people say "well that baby doesn't know what it's doing!" But they didn't exactly have any say in circumcision at 8 days old, either. This point actually probably could be turned into an entire post, but I'm not going to do that. Another interesting point of the BF&M is point XVI, "Peace and War." It says that Christians are to seek peace with all men on principles of righteousness, and that Christians should seek to end war at all costs. I agree with this completely, but I'm afraid we've done a pretty poor job of it. I'm as guilty of this as anyone - I remember back in 2003 when I heard that we had attacked Iraq, I was literally excited. It literally was like some kind of bloodlust for war. Funny how seven years later, that war is still raging. And the church, the politically conservative, Christian, evangelical church has remained largely silent on the issue. I think we can both support our soldiers (as we should - it is not their call to go to war) while still oppose the war itself.
Morality. In line with what I said earlier, about saying "this or that is emphatically right", where does a lot of our morality come from? Alcohol is the best example I can come up with right now (my body does still feel like it's on central time, ha), but as southerners, where do we come up with this idea that alcohol is completely and totally wrong? I mean, Proverbs 20:1 says that "wine is a mocker and beer [or strong drink] is a brawler." OK...so if it's across the board wrong, the New Testament would affirm that, right? Well, in Paul's description of what a deacon, or overseer, should be, doesn't seem to say that it's completely wrong. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 suggests that they should be temperate, not abstinent. Further, 1 Corinthians 6:12 says everything is lawful, but not everything is helpful; everything is lawful, but I shall not be enslaved by anything. Obviously, if it becomes a controlling thing, it's wrong, but the same standard applies to...anything. Caffeine. Chocolate. Church. Money. Cars. Sex. Music. Fame. Anything! So why does alcohol get such special treatment? I just don't understand why it's such a big deal.
Sports. I am sick of college baseball. I want this season to be over, so we can move on to thinking about football. I want to learn golf, too.
Movies. Can't wait to see the A-Team. This summer has been solid with movies so far and should only get better.
Music. Been listening to Matt Costa, Mumford & Sons, and of course the Avetts. Lots of other stuff too, but those are the main 3. Jon Foreman is good, but sometimes can be super super whiny.
So those are some things I have been mulling over lately. My mind has been working overtime, it seems, but I'm having a blast in Hawaii. A full report from the trip will come when I get back.
Insomnia is for winners
<3 chanchan
Friday, May 28, 2010
Hawai'i
So, in about twelve hours I will board a plane that will make stops in Houston and Orange County before finally landing in Maui, where I will sleep for the night and then head over to the island of Lanai. And I haven't even started packing. That's nothing new though...every time I did Summer Staff I'm pretty sure I started packing like the night before, so this will get done. Right now, the biggest decision to make is if I'll attempt to sleep tonight or not. I want to be good and tired when I get on the plane so that I will find it easier to sleep, but then again I never can sleep on planes and I almost always wind up watching the wing to see if it catches fire. Only this time, it'll catch fire over the ocean and a shark will jump up and grab us or something. Who knows.
But, the reason I'm so excited is that this is my first mission trip. I've almost gotten to go on a few but they just haven't worked out, so it's pretty cool that I finally get to go. Lanai is a small island near Maui and it used to be a pineapple plantation. We're going to go in and do a music camp and maybe a Bible school for the week. My tasks include running a sound board and teaching kids to play "Come Thou Fount" on the ukulele. I have never operated a sound board and before yesterday couldn't have told you how to play a G chord on a ukulele (oddly enough it's the exact same shape as a D chord on a guitar which is fairly easy to remember). So I'm really looking forward to that.
Seeing as this is my first mission trip, though, I really don't know what to expect. I am just trying to go into this with an open heart and an open mind for whatever God has in store for the kids I am going to get to meet and for me. So, as I start to pack and get psyched up for the 13 hour flight out there, I'm just going to try to pray and really seek what the Father is saying about this trip. But, if it's anything like the rest of my life, He'll just reveal bits and pieces as we go along. Which is fine with me.
Besides, I've always felt like I'd fit in pretty well as a Hawaiian. So, here goes nothing, and hang ten, y'all.
<3 chanchan
But, the reason I'm so excited is that this is my first mission trip. I've almost gotten to go on a few but they just haven't worked out, so it's pretty cool that I finally get to go. Lanai is a small island near Maui and it used to be a pineapple plantation. We're going to go in and do a music camp and maybe a Bible school for the week. My tasks include running a sound board and teaching kids to play "Come Thou Fount" on the ukulele. I have never operated a sound board and before yesterday couldn't have told you how to play a G chord on a ukulele (oddly enough it's the exact same shape as a D chord on a guitar which is fairly easy to remember). So I'm really looking forward to that.
Seeing as this is my first mission trip, though, I really don't know what to expect. I am just trying to go into this with an open heart and an open mind for whatever God has in store for the kids I am going to get to meet and for me. So, as I start to pack and get psyched up for the 13 hour flight out there, I'm just going to try to pray and really seek what the Father is saying about this trip. But, if it's anything like the rest of my life, He'll just reveal bits and pieces as we go along. Which is fine with me.
Besides, I've always felt like I'd fit in pretty well as a Hawaiian. So, here goes nothing, and hang ten, y'all.
<3 chanchan
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Frustration...
One of my friends told me I write best when I'm frustrated, and with the weight of finals bearing down on me plus the annoyance of there being people redoing our roof, completely eliminating the possibility of sleep, I figured I'd write a little bit to calm myself down before I start studying. So here goes.
My battle cry for the last month or so comes from Matthew 9:14-29, specifically verse 24. It reads like this:
"And when they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and scribes arguing with them. And immediately all the crowd, when they saw him, were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him. And he asked them, "What are you arguing about with them?" And someone from the crowd answered him, "Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able." And He answered them "O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me." And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, "How long as this been happening to him?" And he said "From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." And Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' All things are possible for one who believes. Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, "He is dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. And when He had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, "Why could we not cast it out?" And He said to them, "This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer."
There are a lot of really good things in this passage. But verse 24 particularly stands out to me because I mean it takes balls to admit that. Because I want to look so big and bad and like I have everything all together. I mean, hell, I'm the seminary kid. I'm supposed to not be struggling with anything serious or struggle with unbelief or whatever. And yet here I am, in that very situation. It's the same triggers; finals, boredom, relationships, money problems; any number of things. And the crazy thing is this - I KNOW that finals will be over soon. I KNOW I'm in this…gah…I hate this phrase…season of singleness. I KNOW that God is going to provide for me money wise. And the funny thing about boredom is that I need something like that for a little while. I need some free time to get caught up on Lost, read some books for pleasure, work on my clawhammerin' skills, whatever. I need that time to just unwind and recharge. So really there's no reason to be like this, and there's a part of me that definitely knows this. There's a part of me that doesn't want this. But there's still that part of me that still tries to find ways to be miserable, still a part of me that is always expecting for the bottom to drop out.
And the crazy thing is this. I've been in this situation before. These situations. And God has been entirely faithful in them. I mean looking back over the past year especially - in times where I felt both happy (admittedly very few) and in times when I felt crushed and alone and whatever - God has been faithful to me. Whether it's been a word through studying scripture or just an encouraging word from a friend or whatever…He has been faithful. And as I look back over my Covenant Theology class, I've realized some things about the Bible, and the Old Testament in particular, that I've never thought of before. And the main thing, the thing I'm seeing played out, is that God makes good on His promises. He may very well allow us to struggle through some things and deal with some pretty hard crap, but He will make good on His promises. I was reading in my One Year Bible (which…OK even this is funny because I'm like a week behind but it's still just perfect timing) about Gideon in Judges 6 and the Angel of the Lord appears to Gideon (which…like some people believe that references the pre-incarnate Christ, which is pretty cool) and reminds Gideon "I brought you up out of slavery in Egypt. I rescued you from the Egyptians and from all who oppressed you. I drove out your enemies and gave you their land." He goes on to say more, and really that's not the main point of the story (but it IS the main underlying theme of redemptive history) but God is faithful. This is the same God who has been with me, step by step, for my entire life. This is the same God who has provided for me in these situations time and time again and though I'm frustrated and in a bit of a pinch, I know that God has given me a family that loves me, friends that do as well, and most importantly, He has given us Himself.
In Jeremiah, God has sent the prophet Jeremiah to his people to give them a word. Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you…" is an oft quoted verse for people who are graduating high school or whatever, so much so that it might be a cliche by now, but when God sent Jeremiah, Israel was at the lowest of the low. And at that place, at that point where they were literally worse off than they ever had been before, God delivers that message. And I'm not at the lowest of the low right now (started to get to that point about this time last year though) but I can still rejoice in that promise.
Finally, my response to this situation has been all wrong. God convicted me of that during the hour or however long it was that I wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood that though my response often is to get pissed off or have imaginary conversations (I'm crazy, I know) with the people I feel like I need to talk to or just shut down (which yesterday was a combination of all of those), my response should be prayer and praise. There is an amount of godly grief and all that, but even in spite of that I am to praise.
Anyway, a couple of hours and an episode or two of Lost later, I feel a ton better. I'm going to go take over the world.
Until next time,
chanchan
Monday, April 12, 2010
Confessions, pt. I
So I have a bit of a confession to make. Not divulging any dirty little secrets here or anything like that, but this is something I need to get off my chest...
I have been deceived. You can say I've believed a lie, been tricked, whatever…but the fact remains I have been believing that something untrue was true, and it has been holding me back.
This morning, in class, I came to the realization that I have believed that "getting by" and, maybe more importantly, "doing better" were good enough ways to get through life. As a side note, this class on sanctification has been unbelievable. Not necessarily the class itself, but how it has forced me to actually sit down and take a look at my own life. It also kind of goes hand in hand with another post I made recently about being a doer of the word and not just a hearer.
But how many of us just "get by"? I often think to myself, although it's not always a conscious thought, "well, I only do this once or twice a week" or "well, I'm not out doing THAT all the time, so I'm OK" and after those thoughts I usually follow up with "so I'm OK" or "I'm doing better." And I guess if I compare myself to myself or compare myself to others then I can say that and feel OK about it (which is not to say that I'm better than anybody else, but it's just that rationalization of our sin that we all go through). But, if Christ is the center of my life, instead of other people, or way more likely, myself, then no matter how much better I am than I used to be or how much less I do something than someone else, I still pale in comparison to the goal. And I don't say that to say that I have to be perfect, because that is what this whole sanctification process is about. It's not like you just get saved and all of a sudden you don't struggle with anything anymore.
But I have realized that I am accepting less than God's best for me, because until this point I have been unwilling (maybe ashamed, maybe apathetic, maybe…any number of things) to bring my sin to the forefront and deal with it, and when it comes down to it I think this is a big part of the reason that I've just been content with getting by.
I don't know if that was really coherent. It's kind of early…at least by my standards…I'm hungry, and I have a ton of other stuff to do but I felt like I needed to write first to clear my mind a little.
"Be killing sin or it will be killing you." - John Owen
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Love.
So I've given this entry the title "love." And I'm definitely burning on something right now, and it's something that I have been guilty of in the past as well. But today, as I was looking over my Twitter feed (shameless plug - www.twitter.com/chan_i_am), I noticed everybody's favorite controversial Christian singer Derek Webb made an interesting post where he claimed "i've been pressed by some to just come out & deny the faith. so here's as close as i can come: i admit it folks, i don't love christians". Then he tried to clarify it by saying "ok, how about 'i like some individual christians, but as a group, i don't love christians'. better?" And then tweeted several other times trying to wiggle his way out of his initial statement that he didn't love Christians. To be fair, he did include himself in the group of people he doesn't love, but that's not really my point.
Now, let me say first that I don't dislike Derek Webb's music, and I don't know him as a person at all so maybe for his close friends he really was making some super great, super smart point. But I do find it extremely ironic that this guy who wrote a song like "Wedding Dress" and sang with Caedmon's Call the song "Thousand Miles" would say that he didn't love Christians, because both of those songs are about how broken and imperfect we are, even though we are Christians. And when someone says "I don't love Christians," for the most part I know exactly why they don't love Christians. It's because their views on whatever may not exactly line up. It was a big part of my frustration with fellow believers during the presidential election this past year. I wish I would have saved some of the status updates that people posted on the night Barack Obama got elected president. I wasn't what anybody would consider excited about the outcome of the election (although mostly I couldn't have cared less because I didn't vote anyway), but the things a lot of my fellow believers were saying were just downright hateful, and in a moment such as that it becomes easy to get carried away and say something like "man, I really hate Christians" or "man, I really don't love Christians" or "man, Christians piss me off" or something along those lines. But ultimately, when Presbyterian Preston says he doesn't like Christians, it's most likely that Baptist Barry said (or did) something Preston didn't like so he just gets mad, takes his ball, and goes home. Barry could have said anything - he could have said that he felt like anyone who drank alcohol was a sinner or anyone who believed in predestination was an idiot or that a Republican should be president, but it just didn't sit well with Preston so he felt the need to call out the body of Christ as a whole.
But what gets me about this whole thing is how this is becoming a more and more prevalent attitude. I mean, I have a book on my bookshelf right now that I am too lazy to walk over and double check the title but it's something along the lines of I'm Fine With God…It's Christians I Can't Stand. So it's not something I've been immune to. But that is the absolute wrong attitude to have about it. When we see brothers and sisters fail, when we see the church as a whole drop the ball, our reaction should not be "man, they really suck" but rather we should be heartbroken that our brothers or sisters have fallen and seek to encourage and build them up in any way we can. I mean think about it - nearly every single one of Paul's letters in the New Testament were to Christians who were majorly dropping the ball. We think the church today is messed up? Look at the Corinthian church. Those guys were wrecked. I know different generations get chastised for being the downfall of society but honestly all you would have to do is change the name to Corinthians to Americans or Brandonians or Oxfordites or whatever exciting and trendy word you try to identify people from your hometown with and it would be the same thing. Sexual immorality, social snobbery, misinterpreting Scripture and theology…all kinds of stuff.
And the point, I guess, is this. We, as Christians, are not yet perfect people. I do believe fully that, as stated in Philippians 1:6, "he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." So…we're not perfect. Well, you might be perfect. Two ways to figure out if you are or not - 1. check your pulse or 2. ask yourself "has Christ returned yet?" If you find that you have a pulse or that Christ has not returned, then no, you are not perfect. So then are we to just write off our fellow believers when they screw up? To quote Paul, may it never be! Y'all, we're called to love the church. The Bible tells us that we will be known by our love - our love for our brothers as well as for non-believers. And that love for our brothers is the love that we share for the body of Christ.
I just don't get this new concept that it's all of a sudden OK to talk openly about how we don't love our neighbors. I mean, that's one of our biggest commands - love your neighbor as yourself. And just because our neighbor may be a major douche (like the two religious guys that passed up the man who had been beaten and robbed only to be helped by a Samaritan of all people) it doesn't mean they aren't our neighbor. I really don't see how it is productive at all for the Kingdom for us to be openly berating our fellow believers in such a way. When these disappointments happen (and they will happen - it's just a fact of life) we need to be finding ways to seek out those who have fallen, those who have hurt us, those who have seemingly set the body of Christ way back, and encourage them. Use Scripture and pray. Be honest. But don't get onto a public forum, like your Twitter account or a Facebook site or a blog and just tear someone down. I think a big part of why the church is struggling in some areas is because we haven't been encouragers.
There is a 99.9% chance Derek Webb will never read this, and an even better chance that if he does, he won't care what I have to say, and that's fine. I don't mean to single him out and I really like what I've heard of his music. It's just that his Twitter account brought some ideas to the forefront that have been on the back of my mind lately, and I think if anything seminary so far has renewed my love for the church and my hope and desire to see her grow back into what God has intended her to be.
So just think about it. I'm not a perfect person, and I know that I need love as much as anybody. And if I, a Christian, know that I need love, why wouldn't I seek to show that love to my fellow believers? Love your neighbor as yourself.
I really hope this made sense, and it's not all I have to say on the subject. Hopefully soon I'll be able to put the rest of it in writing, but it has to do with what I feel like is a lot of Christians' open hostility towards the church. It was something that raised it's ugly head in Oxford a few times over the past few years and if there is one thing that I learned in college, it's that problems aren't unique. If you're dealing with it somewhere, it's being dealt with in many other places.
Wow I really started to ramble there at the end. Anyway, again, Love Thy Neighbor. Sometimes it's harder than others, but thankfully as Christians, Christ gives us that strength.
much love
-chanchan
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Easter Weekend...
So I started writing this earlier but it kind of turned into a Rob Bell/emerging church bashing post so I deleted it. This is my second attempt:
Good Friday. I think it's pretty ironic that we call it "good" because at the time it was the single most hopeless day in the history of the world. Despite telling the disciples what the deal was going to be, the warnings never took and they watched the guy that was to be their savior, their messiah die the death of a criminal. These guys had left their entire lives, their families, their jobs, their friends, their hometowns…everything. And it hinged on this one guy who was up on a cross. And he died.
Then, you have Easter Sunday. The Resurrection. I think my favorite Gospel account of that morning is the one in Luke 24 where the angel approaches the women and asks "Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here - he has risen!" How incredible is that? He isn't dead - he's alive.
And the thing about the Resurrection is that it is THE central truth, reality, point, whatever you want to call it - it is THE center to everything we, as Christians, do. There's a movement out there, in Christianity, that is trying to discount the importance of the Resurrection. Really it's trying to discount the centrality of Christ to the Gospel, but the Resurrection has come under attack. But it bears the question - what if, on your death bed, you found out that atheism were true. There was no God, and Christ, at best, was a really good teacher who had a few good stories about him embellished and he never rose from the dead. Would you look at your life and say "oh, well, I led a good life. I was nice to people, I gave my money and possessions away, so I'm satisfied" or would you be in agony? Would you think that you wasted your entire life? Paul says that if Christ didn't rise again - if there is no resurrection of the dead - then our entire faith is in vain. This is the central piece to our faith.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts I've put together. I knew I wanted to write something about Easter on Good Friday, and at the very least I hope this was coherent. I just know one thing to be true - somewhere in the Middle East there is a tomb that once held a dead body, but after three days, that dead man got up and walked out of the tomb, and because of that we have hope. Because of that, we have life.
I pray for myself that I would always remember this - that everything in life is about proclaiming the resurrected Christ.
-chanchan
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Who I Am
Normally when I make a post on here, I'll link it to Facebook and Twitter, but I think I'll probably keep this one on the down low…which I mean I guess people might read it anyway but it's not me broadcasting it to the world in the way that I normally do. Maybe I will though. I haven't decided yet.
Part of asking God to reveal certain ways about me has led to a few revelations. One of which I shared in my last post about how I always try to find ways to be miserable. I'm happy to say that since I realized that, I have recognized several opportunities I had to feel miserable and I took those thoughts captive and did not allow it. So I'm kind of excited about that.
But, the other thing that I have just now realized - I am who I am. My past is what it is. And, honestly, it's a little boring. I didn't drink in high school. I didn't smoke weed. I've never had sex. I didn't even struggle with profanity until I got to college, and even now, I don't exactly curse like a sailor. I went to church, went to Young Life, listened most of the time, and outside of being cynical, didn't really cause a lot of trouble.
I don't say any of that to brag on myself, because I have my struggles. I know my heart and I know that, as it says in Jeremiah 17:9, my heart is deceitful and desperately sick. But, I guess I'm writing this to say I'm not embarrassed. In the past, when people have told stories about sitting around getting drunk or getting high or sleeping around I've felt the need to throw in some story about how I did something stupid once too, even if it doesn't relate. It's almost like it was awkward to me that I didn't get drunk and hook up with a random girl every weekend in high school and college.
But part of this process 0f growing up involves realizing who I am and where I've been and what I've done. I've been labeled a goody-goody, and you know what? It may be true. And…I'm OK with that.
I don't want this to come off as self-righteous. Believe me I know what a screw up I am and I know my thoughts. But I'm coming to terms with who I am. I'm unbelievably lazy at times, I'm out of shape, I eat terrible food, and I struggle mightily with some pretty embarrassing things. Those things just don't happen to be alcohol or drugs or sex. And I'm going to try to not be so freaking awkward about that anymore. Or…maybe just embrace the awkwardness that inherently comes with it. I don't know.
Also, I'm finally writing songs! I've got three going right now - one is a project with Ben, Micah, and Boudreaux, and the other two are almost completely written and I'm somewhat pleased with them. I have a fourth in the works, too. So I'm pretty stoked about it. Anyway, I'm out. Gots to sleep.
Awkwardly,
Chandler
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