Don't Be An Idiot

This post is mostly meant to psych me up for the next seven days.

Sometimes I reflect on advice people have given me. Some of this is good advice and some of this is bad advice. They both tend to be comical at times, but the truth underneath it is undeniable. I honestly can't recall the worst advice anyone ever gave me, but when I think about the best advice anyone has ever given me, I think back to the summer of 2007 when I served on Summer Staff at Malibu in Egmont, British Columbia. That's where Kristin Barwick told me "Don't be a idiot." (Yes, she said "don't be a idiot" not "an idiot") And as I sit here staring finals down, knowing myself, these words ring incredibly true.

Don't be an idiot.

What spurred this post is irrelevant. The thing I have to remember about these next 7 days is that I really do, truly, honestly believe that I am where God has me in life. Yeah, finals will be tough, yeah, I did a great deal of procrastinating during the semester, and yeah, I've probably made it a little bit more difficult than it needs to be, but it's still doable. But in this time, I can't be an idiot. Yes, I would probably rather play video games or watch TV. Yes, I would probably rather read some of the books I've bought lately NOT for school. Yes, I would probably rather spend time with my friends or playing outside with the dogs. Yes, I would probably rather be doing anything right now but studying. But it's a week. One week. One week where I know what needs to get done, one week to finish strong.

Don't be an idiot.

Yes, I tend to get worked up/freaked out/upset about little things that people probably shouldn't get worked up/freaked out/upset about. This is not the time for that. Situations will work themselves out.

But the biggest part about "don't be an idiot," to me, right now, is that at times like this I typically tend to not trust God at all. I mean, that's where the freak out stuff comes from. Because I think the way I want things to happen is the way they SHOULD happen, and then when they don't work out that way (or work out that way as quickly as I'd like them to) I lose my mind. Which is why this extends beyond finals and into every aspect of my life. So, when I think about the best way that "don't be an idiot" applies to my life, it just speaks to the idea that I would trust in myself, the neurotic, sometimes-lazy, frequent jerk who is quick to speak and maybe quicker to anger over the sovereign God who sees and knows all, who intimately knows me in ways I don't know myself, who planned this very moment and sees my life 5, 10, 15, and 50 years down the road. The God who knows my wife already, knows what my kids will look like, knows the next car I'll get, knows all of the things I have pent up inside me that may never see the light of day but loves me anyway. And the God who, for some reason, called me to this very time.

So why do I worry? It reminds me of Jon Foreman's song "Your Love is Strong" - Why do I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need...and he's promised to give it to me. I can stand on that promise, knowing it won't always be easy, but knowing that God is good. And he has a plan through all of this.

Don't be an idiot.

Until next time,
-chanchan

PS - listening to Gillian Welch's "Revival" - fan-freaking-tastic album. Love it.