The Question of Manhood

This has been an incredibly long day, but it has been a very good day. I've currently been awake for 19 hours and the end is very much in sight, but before I crash I wanted to put a few thoughts out there.

Two different things happened today that have me thinking about the question of manhood.

This morning, I started the Men's Fraternity at Redeemer Church in Jackson, the church I've been visiting for the last month or so, and it was a great morning. Over the next 12 weeks, we're going to be discussing a lot of issues that face men, and one of the things that especially peaked my interest was the idea of coming up with a working definition of manhood. Let's face it - if you asked 10 different guys the definition of manhood, you'd get 10 different answers. So I'm very much looking forward to what happens with all this.

This evening, somebody told me about a tweet basically scolding some college and post college aged guys for tweeting about Harry Potter, saying it was time to "grow up" or "man up" or something like that. We had some fun with the tweet, but a little later on we got to talking about the actual content of it and the underlying implication that somehow, liking Harry Potter isn't "manly." At least not in the eyes of some people.

Think about that. Liking Harry Potter all of a sudden isn't manly. Or...well...maybe it never has been for some. I've never been a Harry Potter fan, but I don't hate it or anything, I just haven't read any of the books or seen any of the movies. But all of a sudden your opinion on Harry Potter determines at least part of your manhood? I mean, somehow liking Harry Potter and tweeting about it makes you less of a man, but not liking Harry Potter and not tweeting about it makes you more of a man?

If any part of your view of manhood is based on how you feel about a series of fantasy novels, I'd say your view of manhood overall is shallow and pretty superficial. And I'd also argue that there's something in those books that stirs something very positive about manhood up in all of us, but more on that later. How you feel about a particular book is irrelevant, but I think those books touch on something very real and very tangible that we all desire as men.

I just don't think being a man is that shallow. I'm thankful for awesome example of godly, manly men in my life, but while they are/were all without a doubt "real" (whatever that means) men, they all look completely different. One of my grandfathers is as tough as nails, he builds things, he's worked in factories or doing other kinds of manual labor his entire life. He loves hunting and fishing and everything outdoors. My other grandfather loved classical music and reading theology. He worked in an office and on computers. Yeah, he liked to do outdoorsy stuff too, but they looked like totally different men and their lives looked very different. My dad doesn't look exactly like either of them, either. He embodies certain traits that they both have, but he's not exactly like either one of them. Oh and he likes fantasy stories and awful sci-fi movies. And we talk about Star Wars, Star Trek, and other stuff like that. But that's another story. But they were all definitely men and the embodiment of manhood. They love(d) their wives, their families, their God, their church, and it's not just in the wake up, work 9-5, come back and be left alone way - they enjoy(ed) rich, deep relationships with their families and friends...I mean I don't even really know how to explain it, I just know I want to be like them.

But looking at Harry Potter...these stories are wildly popular, and they're widely recognized as good literature. I think fantasy stories awaken something in us though. I mean I can't speak to Harry Potter, but I can speak to Star Wars or the Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it's dorky, but seeing someone realize their purpose in life, fight for it, and achieve it is something I think resonates with all of us. I mean, we're wired to have purpose. We're wired to experience adventure. These are things that Wild at Heart, the basic Christian treatise on manhood (again...not a book I was really in to) but those are ideals are really expounded in there.

And I think the fact that we don't read those kinds of stories anymore...the fact that we look at that stuff and laugh and think it's lame or not manly...I think that's part of why men are just kind of blah now. Our sense of wonder and adventure has been replaced by the 9-5, by the mundane routine of working the same job, the same vacations every year, even down to the same lunch place every day...we just get beat into a routine.

CS Lewis knew this. JRR Tolkien knew this. I think JK Rowling probably knows this. Story is a big deal, adventure is a big deal. I really hope we don't get to a point where it's not acceptable to enjoy a story that awakens all of this in us.

As it is with a lot of the things I write, a specific person or event triggers the thought, but these are the kinds of things that have been brewing under the surface for me for a while. I also don't know if this is coherent or not. There are some Biblical things in my mind right now too, but I'm way too tired for research.

Read on, fellas. Even if it can be a little annoying when my Twitter feed blows up with a movie or book I have never read, enjoy it. Life, literature, adventure, all of that...it's meant to be enjoyed. So keep it up.

-Chandler