Confessions, pt. I

So I have a bit of a confession to make. Not divulging any dirty little secrets here or anything like that, but this is something I need to get off my chest...

I have been deceived. You can say I've believed a lie, been tricked, whatever…but the fact remains I have been believing that something untrue was true, and it has been holding me back.

This morning, in class, I came to the realization that I have believed that "getting by" and, maybe more importantly, "doing better" were good enough ways to get through life. As a side note, this class on sanctification has been unbelievable. Not necessarily the class itself, but how it has forced me to actually sit down and take a look at my own life. It also kind of goes hand in hand with another post I made recently about being a doer of the word and not just a hearer.

But how many of us just "get by"? I often think to myself, although it's not always a conscious thought, "well, I only do this once or twice a week" or "well, I'm not out doing THAT all the time, so I'm OK" and after those thoughts I usually follow up with "so I'm OK" or "I'm doing better." And I guess if I compare myself to myself or compare myself to others then I can say that and feel OK about it (which is not to say that I'm better than anybody else, but it's just that rationalization of our sin that we all go through). But, if Christ is the center of my life, instead of other people, or way more likely, myself, then no matter how much better I am than I used to be or how much less I do something than someone else, I still pale in comparison to the goal. And I don't say that to say that I have to be perfect, because that is what this whole sanctification process is about. It's not like you just get saved and all of a sudden you don't struggle with anything anymore.

But I have realized that I am accepting less than God's best for me, because until this point I have been unwilling (maybe ashamed, maybe apathetic, maybe…any number of things) to bring my sin to the forefront and deal with it, and when it comes down to it I think this is a big part of the reason that I've just been content with getting by.

I don't know if that was really coherent. It's kind of early…at least by my standards…I'm hungry, and I have a ton of other stuff to do but I felt like I needed to write first to clear my mind a little.

"Be killing sin or it will be killing you." - John Owen

Love.

So I've given this entry the title "love." And I'm definitely burning on something right now, and it's something that I have been guilty of in the past as well. But today, as I was looking over my Twitter feed (shameless plug - www.twitter.com/chan_i_am), I noticed everybody's favorite controversial Christian singer Derek Webb made an interesting post where he claimed "i've been pressed by some to just come out & deny the faith. so here's as close as i can come: i admit it folks, i don't love christians". Then he tried to clarify it by saying "ok, how about 'i like some individual christians, but as a group, i don't love christians'. better?" And then tweeted several other times trying to wiggle his way out of his initial statement that he didn't love Christians. To be fair, he did include himself in the group of people he doesn't love, but that's not really my point.

Now, let me say first that I don't dislike Derek Webb's music, and I don't know him as a person at all so maybe for his close friends he really was making some super great, super smart point. But I do find it extremely ironic that this guy who wrote a song like "Wedding Dress" and sang with Caedmon's Call the song "Thousand Miles" would say that he didn't love Christians, because both of those songs are about how broken and imperfect we are, even though we are Christians. And when someone says "I don't love Christians," for the most part I know exactly why they don't love Christians. It's because their views on whatever may not exactly line up. It was a big part of my frustration with fellow believers during the presidential election this past year. I wish I would have saved some of the status updates that people posted on the night Barack Obama got elected president. I wasn't what anybody would consider excited about the outcome of the election (although mostly I couldn't have cared less because I didn't vote anyway), but the things a lot of my fellow believers were saying were just downright hateful, and in a moment such as that it becomes easy to get carried away and say something like "man, I really hate Christians" or "man, I really don't love Christians" or "man, Christians piss me off" or something along those lines. But ultimately, when Presbyterian Preston says he doesn't like Christians, it's most likely that Baptist Barry said (or did) something Preston didn't like so he just gets mad, takes his ball, and goes home. Barry could have said anything - he could have said that he felt like anyone who drank alcohol was a sinner or anyone who believed in predestination was an idiot or that a Republican should be president, but it just didn't sit well with Preston so he felt the need to call out the body of Christ as a whole.

But what gets me about this whole thing is how this is becoming a more and more prevalent attitude. I mean, I have a book on my bookshelf right now that I am too lazy to walk over and double check the title but it's something along the lines of I'm Fine With God…It's Christians I Can't Stand. So it's not something I've been immune to. But that is the absolute wrong attitude to have about it. When we see brothers and sisters fail, when we see the church as a whole drop the ball, our reaction should not be "man, they really suck" but rather we should be heartbroken that our brothers or sisters have fallen and seek to encourage and build them up in any way we can. I mean think about it - nearly every single one of Paul's letters in the New Testament were to Christians who were majorly dropping the ball. We think the church today is messed up? Look at the Corinthian church. Those guys were wrecked. I know different generations get chastised for being the downfall of society but honestly all you would have to do is change the name to Corinthians to Americans or Brandonians or Oxfordites or whatever exciting and trendy word you try to identify people from your hometown with and it would be the same thing. Sexual immorality, social snobbery, misinterpreting Scripture and theology…all kinds of stuff.

And the point, I guess, is this. We, as Christians, are not yet perfect people. I do believe fully that, as stated in Philippians 1:6, "he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." So…we're not perfect. Well, you might be perfect. Two ways to figure out if you are or not - 1. check your pulse or 2. ask yourself "has Christ returned yet?" If you find that you have a pulse or that Christ has not returned, then no, you are not perfect. So then are we to just write off our fellow believers when they screw up? To quote Paul, may it never be! Y'all, we're called to love the church. The Bible tells us that we will be known by our love - our love for our brothers as well as for non-believers. And that love for our brothers is the love that we share for the body of Christ.

I just don't get this new concept that it's all of a sudden OK to talk openly about how we don't love our neighbors. I mean, that's one of our biggest commands - love your neighbor as yourself. And just because our neighbor may be a major douche (like the two religious guys that passed up the man who had been beaten and robbed only to be helped by a Samaritan of all people) it doesn't mean they aren't our neighbor. I really don't see how it is productive at all for the Kingdom for us to be openly berating our fellow believers in such a way. When these disappointments happen (and they will happen - it's just a fact of life) we need to be finding ways to seek out those who have fallen, those who have hurt us, those who have seemingly set the body of Christ way back, and encourage them. Use Scripture and pray. Be honest. But don't get onto a public forum, like your Twitter account or a Facebook site or a blog and just tear someone down. I think a big part of why the church is struggling in some areas is because we haven't been encouragers.

There is a 99.9% chance Derek Webb will never read this, and an even better chance that if he does, he won't care what I have to say, and that's fine. I don't mean to single him out and I really like what I've heard of his music. It's just that his Twitter account brought some ideas to the forefront that have been on the back of my mind lately, and I think if anything seminary so far has renewed my love for the church and my hope and desire to see her grow back into what God has intended her to be.

So just think about it. I'm not a perfect person, and I know that I need love as much as anybody. And if I, a Christian, know that I need love, why wouldn't I seek to show that love to my fellow believers? Love your neighbor as yourself.

I really hope this made sense, and it's not all I have to say on the subject. Hopefully soon I'll be able to put the rest of it in writing, but it has to do with what I feel like is a lot of Christians' open hostility towards the church. It was something that raised it's ugly head in Oxford a few times over the past few years and if there is one thing that I learned in college, it's that problems aren't unique. If you're dealing with it somewhere, it's being dealt with in many other places.

Wow I really started to ramble there at the end. Anyway, again, Love Thy Neighbor. Sometimes it's harder than others, but thankfully as Christians, Christ gives us that strength.

much love

-chanchan

Easter Weekend...

So I started writing this earlier but it kind of turned into a Rob Bell/emerging church bashing post so I deleted it. This is my second attempt:

Good Friday. I think it's pretty ironic that we call it "good" because at the time it was the single most hopeless day in the history of the world. Despite telling the disciples what the deal was going to be, the warnings never took and they watched the guy that was to be their savior, their messiah die the death of a criminal. These guys had left their entire lives, their families, their jobs, their friends, their hometowns…everything. And it hinged on this one guy who was up on a cross. And he died.

Then, you have Easter Sunday. The Resurrection. I think my favorite Gospel account of that morning is the one in Luke 24 where the angel approaches the women and asks "Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here - he has risen!" How incredible is that? He isn't dead - he's alive.

And the thing about the Resurrection is that it is THE central truth, reality, point, whatever you want to call it - it is THE center to everything we, as Christians, do. There's a movement out there, in Christianity, that is trying to discount the importance of the Resurrection. Really it's trying to discount the centrality of Christ to the Gospel, but the Resurrection has come under attack. But it bears the question - what if, on your death bed, you found out that atheism were true. There was no God, and Christ, at best, was a really good teacher who had a few good stories about him embellished and he never rose from the dead. Would you look at your life and say "oh, well, I led a good life. I was nice to people, I gave my money and possessions away, so I'm satisfied" or would you be in agony? Would you think that you wasted your entire life? Paul says that if Christ didn't rise again - if there is no resurrection of the dead - then our entire faith is in vain. This is the central piece to our faith.

Anyway, these are just some thoughts I've put together. I knew I wanted to write something about Easter on Good Friday, and at the very least I hope this was coherent. I just know one thing to be true - somewhere in the Middle East there is a tomb that once held a dead body, but after three days, that dead man got up and walked out of the tomb, and because of that we have hope. Because of that, we have life.

I pray for myself that I would always remember this - that everything in life is about proclaiming the resurrected Christ.

-chanchan