Stranger Than Fiction...

As I'm about to go to bed right now, for some reason this thunderstorm has gotten me thinking about what is probably the most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me. Some people have heard this story, some people haven't. But for whatever reason I feel the need to put it in writing.

During my junior year at Ole Miss (2005-2006 I think...it was the year before my marathon of senior years that ultimately resulted in me being a super-duper senior) I got a job working at everybody's favorite late-night chicken wing delivery place, Coop DeVille. My dad knew a guy who knew a guy and I wound up working there. I fried wings and made sandwiches. It was exciting stuff. Anyway, the next day, we hired a new guy. I won't mention his actual name here, in case he searches for his name and this comes up and he comes to my house and kills me. But anyway, this new guy had just moved to Oxford from out west to live with his girlfriend (and, as we would find out later, her mother) whom he had met in a chat room. We didn't think to ask what kind of chat room, which would have been a fantastic idea, but hindsight is always 20/20. Anyway, the day after I started working, they hired this new guy to be a delivery driver. He was an interesting looking dude, about as tall as me with long, nappy hair and a beard. Descriptions aren't important because there's video evidence of him later on in this story.

Delivery drivers need to have some kind of sense of where they are going. This guy didn't. It wasn't entirely his fault, because he was new, but he never really seemed to make an effort to figure out where he was going. It would take him literally over an hour and a half to make a few routine deliveries, and it was pretty frustrating because we'd get really backed up. He was a super nice guy though, just...well, he was one of those guys that was TOO nice. Example: one day I was working on something...can't remember exactly what...but he came up and asked me if I needed help. I said something along the lines of "no thanks man, I got it" and I thought that was it. Later on that night, he came up and was like "hey man, I wasn't trying to be an or anything, I just wanted to make sure you didn't need any help. Sorry about that."

So anyway, we started to notice that said some really weird things. He volunteered a few things that nobody really asked about. For example, he told us he was both bipolar and bisexual and just kind of left it open ended. He also told us that he liked to sit in graveyards at night and take pictures and then would try to find orbs and such in the pictures. Then, the weirdest comment of all - one night as I was cleaning out the freezer getting ready to go home, he said this: "Man, I just really like blood." And walked away. So...yeah. What do you do with that?

I also remember the night that hurricane Katrina hit. We were the only place open, and freaked out and went and got his girlfriend and she sat in the kitchen and just stared at everyone. It was creepy.

Things moved on like that. Little weird confessions here and there, until finally he told a co-worker that he would be on an A&E special and would likely become famous and he would quit and we would never see him again. My first thought was "that has never happened to anyone" but then I thought...wait...that's weird. The show was to air the Friday night before the Ole Miss/Auburn game, which would be in Auburn, and I started joking around with people that I worked with a vampire.

So that weekend rolls around, and I had gone to Auburn with a few friends. We were actually staying in Columbus, GA, at a friend's house, and everybody went out except for my friend Taylor and me. I remembered that would be on TV that night, so I looked up the program guide for A&E that night and sure enough, there was a documentary on vampires. I got a little nervous, but we turned it on, and this is what I saw:

Modern Vampires pt. 10

"Terran" was my co-worker, and "Tanneidhe" or whatever was his girlfriend. When I saw this, I freaked out. I mean, here is this guy I work with, on TV, sucking his girlfriend's blood. My only response was to grab the phone and call Coop. I asked for Jamie, who was a co-worker, and all I could say was "DUDE... IS A VAMPIRE. A VAMPIRE." (please note that I'm not a huge fan of profanity and I realize I should have used a different word. But...how many times has one of your co-workers been a vampire? Probably none. The level of freaking out was incredibly high. I had no idea what to do.)

Anyway, after recapping the story, I had no idea what to think. We went about our weekend, Ole Miss lost (of course), and then I went back to work. When I went back, I found a "Vampire FAQ" on the break table. I looked over it a little, but the only thing I remember was this question and answer:

Q. What does it feel like to be a vampire?
A. A lot like dancing naked in a warm summer rain.

Yep. So...that's what it feels like. Anyway, I quit shortly thereafter because, as I said before, was a vampire. I had a class with another guy I worked with the next semester and I asked him if still worked there. My friend said that he didn't. I asked why. His answer was "You mean besides the fact he went on TV and sucked someone's blood?" And I said...yeah, that's what I figured.

So...yeah. That's the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me.