So 1 Kings 19 describes the voice of God as a "still, small voice." God tells Elijah to wait to hear His voice and He causes an earthquake, a fire, a mighty wind, and some other things, and His voice is not present in any of them. Then comes the still small voice. A breeze. A soft whisper. Which I think is pretty cool, because we expect God to be this big mighty voice that shakes the walls and knocks people over. Which He is certainly capable of. But, this particular passage of the Bible chooses to describe the voice of God as a still, small voice. I think when people hear that phrase, they expect it to be this gentle whisper, this pleasant little thing that just kind of comes along and is all like "Oh, the dear sweet eight pound six ounce baby Jesus wants me to go do this" and they just peacefully move along and easily transition into whatever the 8 lb. 6 oz. version of our Savior wants them to do. But I don't think that's necessarily how it works.
Sometimes, the still small voice doubles as a kick to the nuts.
That expression may be a little crass, but it's the truth. I know because it has been happening to me time and time again over the last 2 weeks. Maybe I'll write about the other stuff some other time, but this time I'm focusing on tonight.
During our evening worship service, Scott Ross spoke briefly and then had some different groups come up and share about their experiences on various mission trips over the last few months. We've had people serving here in Mississippi, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Haiti, and India, and each group had a pretty cool story to tell. The particular story that moved me the most was a story about a lady named Wincey. She had a husband and four kids, but then her husband died and she started to struggle with abusing drugs and alcohol. Then, in an attempt to make some money to keep her home, she started working at a strip club. After three days, she realized enough was enough and reached out to several churches in the area and Crossgates reached out and helped her rebuild a burned out trailer someone had given her. During the story, Wincey actually came down to the front of the church and told bits and pieces of her story with the other guy who was talking. After they finished talking and walked off, something hit me.
A former stripper came down to the front of the church and told her story.
In the church. In a place where people often times feel judged and condemned, this lady felt comfortable enough to do that. That blew my mind, and honestly I was thanking God that I went to a church where something like that could happen.
But throughout the night, as we heard story after story of God's redemptive love moving in incredible ways around the world, I started to hear the voice. I feel like I very clearly heard God tell me "Chandler, this is what I want for you. This is the plan I have for you."
And that was the kick to the balls.
I saw the passion that the people speaking had for other people and for the Gospel and I realized...I don't have that. I'm closer than I was, but I'm not there yet. But the conviction came when I realized I'm the one slowing up the process. I'm the one who sits around and plays XBOX for hours on end. I'm the one who continually flirts with the line in almost every situation. I'm the one who says a quick five minute prayer before I go to sleep. I'm terribly lazy - I pretty much have been my whole life. I mean, I'm the guy who would go to campus, try to find a parking spot, not find a parking spot, and go home. Diligence has just never been a strong suit of mine.
But I realized tonight...I want that passion. I want my heart to break for something - whether it's middle school students at Crossgates (which actually it already has to an extent) or starving old people in Africa, I want that passion.
And I want a deeper passion for the Gospel.
So many times I think people (myself definitely included) look at the Gospel as just...I don't know how to explain it other than to tell a story. I'm paraphrasing, but this is a story from John Piper's Desiring God. He tells the story of a minister who is asked if he were to find out on his deathbed that Jesus was fake, that the whole story was made up, how would it change his life? And the guy answers that he'd be sad, sure, but he could at least take solace in the fact he was nice to other people, helped people, and just generally lived a good life.
Piper makes the point that that is the WRONG answer. 1 Corinthians 15:17 says that if Christ is not risen then our faith is FUTILE. If this isn't true...if this isn't real, we are wasting our lives. But if it is, and I believe it, my life has purpose. My life is not just there, it is real and purposeful.
And so...why don't I live that way? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I not do the things I don't do?
I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to sit back and just let stuff happen - I want to take life head on. I want my heart to break for something, for someone. Like I said, I'm getting there, but I'm the one slowing this up.
I have no idea what I'm going to do - no clue what's going to change this or if it even will any time soon. But eventually it will. Eventually it's going to. I just don't want it to happen five years from now and I realize...hey, I should have done this years ago.
I also realize that this life is not performance based. It's not up to be to initiate any of this, and I definitely can't do it without a calling. But if I'm called, and I just sit there...well, that's a bad idea too.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts at 2:30 in the morning.
<3chanchan
Monday, June 14, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Geocaching, Good Friends, and the Gospel
So when I told people I was going on a mission trip to Hawaii, most of them kind of laughed it off with a "yeah right" kind of smirk, and I have to admit, for a mission trip it was pretty cushy. We stayed in a super nice house on a golf course and had a crew cab z71 to drive around as much as we wanted. Not quite the same digs my friends on the Haiti team (praying for you guys...come home safely!) are staying in this week, but upon getting settled in and getting started, it became evident what a place of need we were in.
Hawaii has a reputation for being this tropical paradise where life is perfect and is nothing more than a getaway for the rich and famous. Nothing could be further than the truth. Somebody has to work at the airports, somebody has to tend the grounds at the golf courses, somebody has to drive the boats, somebody has to work at the resorts, and everything else in between. So, while the tropical paradise reality exists, there is another side that the tourist types never see.
That was the side we got to see.
The island of Lanai is a really small island that used to be a pineapple plantation. Not going to go into a lot of detail about the history of the place, but it's not a pineapple plantation anymore and most of the people that live there work at the resorts. There's a good bit of poverty on the island and seeing as tourism is their main source of income, and the tourism industry is kind of taking a hit because of the economy, people are having to leave the island to find work and things like that. So it's not exactly the tropical paradise a lot of people expect it to be.
I say all of that to kind of set the scene for the incredible week we had. God definitely showed up and did an incredible work there on the island and also in my own life.
So here goes:
What we actually did was a music camp. From 8:30 in the morning until noon I hung out with anywhere between 18 and 25 kids while they learned a bunch of new songs, several of which were nothing more than just Bible verses set to music. Also, let me say this: I hate children's music. But, seeing those kids get so excited about the fact that people were there to invest in their lives and spend time with them, but way more importantly, seeing them get so fired up about the Bible made it completely and totally worth it.
I got to know several of the kids, and they were so much fun to hang out with. One in particular, a kid named Kalei, was so much fun to watch. He started off the week as kind of a troublemaker who was really hyper and didn't really want to do what everyone else did, but throughout the week he got more and more in to what was going on and finally by Friday night, when we did the program for all the kids parents, he was up there singing his heart out and dancing and just going on and having a blast. Same story with several other kids.
We also saw several kids accept Christ. I'm not really sure how it works when kids get saved...I mean honestly I speak from my own experience because when I was 8 or 9 I really didn't understand the concepts of spiritual death and new life and being a new creation and grace and anything like that. BUT - in spite of that, the Gospel was presented and something was obviously going on in those kids lives. On top of that, for the kids who didn't necessarily respond, I have no doubt seeds were planted. It was so cool to see the things God was doing in the kids lives, and then having the chance to see the Gospel proclaimed to their parents.
The other thing that really stood out to me was David Crim and his wife, Cindy. David is the pastor at Lanai Baptist Church, and what God is doing on the island through them is incredible. They are reaching out to people, getting to know them, inviting into their home. I believe, and have for a while, that effective ministry is done relationally, and that's definitely what's happening there. It seemed like they knew everyone.
God moved in me in a big way, too. He started to convict me of some things in my own life, particularly concerning my prayer life. I'm interested to see where this goes.
Outside of the music camp, we got to see some pretty cool sights in Lanai. The beaches were beautiful, the ocean itself is phenomenal. We got to go up on a mountain and saw a wrecked naval ship (they obviously were not in the same place). Just the thought of being able to look out over the ocean and see another island was breathtaking. I mean words really can't describe the sights, and I wish they could. During the process of seeing the sights, I also found a couple of geocaches, which was pretty amazing.
Finally, as an added bonus, I got to spend Saturday with my friend Anella. We worked at Malibu together in 2007 and we have been pretty good at keeping up over the years. It just so happened that were both on Maui at the same time, so I rented a car and drove to her condo and we just spent the day swimming and reading and getting totally sunburned. It was so encouraging and refreshing to get to see her.
This post didn't turn out the way I had hoped, but mostly because I just can't find the words to describe it. Hopefully I can get a hold of the pictures from the trip, which should be able to describe it a little better. But it was an incredible trip and one I will remember forever.
Mahalo (thanks) for reading.
-chanchan
Hawaii has a reputation for being this tropical paradise where life is perfect and is nothing more than a getaway for the rich and famous. Nothing could be further than the truth. Somebody has to work at the airports, somebody has to tend the grounds at the golf courses, somebody has to drive the boats, somebody has to work at the resorts, and everything else in between. So, while the tropical paradise reality exists, there is another side that the tourist types never see.
That was the side we got to see.
The island of Lanai is a really small island that used to be a pineapple plantation. Not going to go into a lot of detail about the history of the place, but it's not a pineapple plantation anymore and most of the people that live there work at the resorts. There's a good bit of poverty on the island and seeing as tourism is their main source of income, and the tourism industry is kind of taking a hit because of the economy, people are having to leave the island to find work and things like that. So it's not exactly the tropical paradise a lot of people expect it to be.
I say all of that to kind of set the scene for the incredible week we had. God definitely showed up and did an incredible work there on the island and also in my own life.
So here goes:
What we actually did was a music camp. From 8:30 in the morning until noon I hung out with anywhere between 18 and 25 kids while they learned a bunch of new songs, several of which were nothing more than just Bible verses set to music. Also, let me say this: I hate children's music. But, seeing those kids get so excited about the fact that people were there to invest in their lives and spend time with them, but way more importantly, seeing them get so fired up about the Bible made it completely and totally worth it.
I got to know several of the kids, and they were so much fun to hang out with. One in particular, a kid named Kalei, was so much fun to watch. He started off the week as kind of a troublemaker who was really hyper and didn't really want to do what everyone else did, but throughout the week he got more and more in to what was going on and finally by Friday night, when we did the program for all the kids parents, he was up there singing his heart out and dancing and just going on and having a blast. Same story with several other kids.
We also saw several kids accept Christ. I'm not really sure how it works when kids get saved...I mean honestly I speak from my own experience because when I was 8 or 9 I really didn't understand the concepts of spiritual death and new life and being a new creation and grace and anything like that. BUT - in spite of that, the Gospel was presented and something was obviously going on in those kids lives. On top of that, for the kids who didn't necessarily respond, I have no doubt seeds were planted. It was so cool to see the things God was doing in the kids lives, and then having the chance to see the Gospel proclaimed to their parents.
The other thing that really stood out to me was David Crim and his wife, Cindy. David is the pastor at Lanai Baptist Church, and what God is doing on the island through them is incredible. They are reaching out to people, getting to know them, inviting into their home. I believe, and have for a while, that effective ministry is done relationally, and that's definitely what's happening there. It seemed like they knew everyone.
God moved in me in a big way, too. He started to convict me of some things in my own life, particularly concerning my prayer life. I'm interested to see where this goes.
Outside of the music camp, we got to see some pretty cool sights in Lanai. The beaches were beautiful, the ocean itself is phenomenal. We got to go up on a mountain and saw a wrecked naval ship (they obviously were not in the same place). Just the thought of being able to look out over the ocean and see another island was breathtaking. I mean words really can't describe the sights, and I wish they could. During the process of seeing the sights, I also found a couple of geocaches, which was pretty amazing.
Finally, as an added bonus, I got to spend Saturday with my friend Anella. We worked at Malibu together in 2007 and we have been pretty good at keeping up over the years. It just so happened that were both on Maui at the same time, so I rented a car and drove to her condo and we just spent the day swimming and reading and getting totally sunburned. It was so encouraging and refreshing to get to see her.
This post didn't turn out the way I had hoped, but mostly because I just can't find the words to describe it. Hopefully I can get a hold of the pictures from the trip, which should be able to describe it a little better. But it was an incredible trip and one I will remember forever.
Mahalo (thanks) for reading.
-chanchan
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Ramblings
It's 3:23 in the morning at home, but here in Hawaii, it is 10:23 at night and I am still wide awake more or less. I thought about doing several things, but I just don't feel like doing any of them. Some of them include:
-reading the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (I may do this later, actually)
-watching The Boondock Saints
-doing P90X - I have been majorly slacking off this week...not good
I am obviously not doing any of those things. I'm actually sitting here, listening to the Avett Brothers: Live, Vol. 2, and thinking about the week and what's been going on. And I have come up with some different thoughts, probably none long enough on their own to make one solitary post about. So...here are some ramblings:
Church. Just a precursor: everything I mention about having a problem with the church is something I am guilty of, too. So I'm not casting stones. I've been thinking a lot about church lately. What it is, what it should look like, things like that. And one thing that is disheartening to me about a lot of churches is that it seems like they are trying to isolate themselves from the world. I mean, think about it. Some churches have their own gyms, their own coffee shops, their own schools, their own bookstores, their own...shoot, you name it and they have it. I remember a few weeks ago I wound up at a church in Hattiesburg, MS (dreadful town, BTW) and walking around and literally feeling my spirit crushed because of the symbol of Christian excess this church seemed to be. Looking at everything in there, there was no reason whatsoever for a member of that church to ever interact with a person who was not a Christian. Shoot, there wasn't even any reason for a member of that church to interact with a member of another church. The reason that society is "degrading" or whatever it is doing is because we, as Christians, are removing the light from the world. I don't necessarily think it is Satan at work (in some cases it obviously is, but I think a lot of Christians are too quick to write off bad stuff happening as the work of the devil), but I think it is the fact that a. Christians are withdrawing from public schools, the local Y, the coffee shop downtown with the weird looking kids working at it, whatever it may be, and b. in the absence of the light, natural man is just acting like...well...natural man. Obviously in some places our enemy is working and doing things, but I think we want to just say "oh that's the work of the devil" so that we can absolve ourselves of responsibility. But the Bible describes the human heart as wicked! Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" It's just the condition of totally depraved man. So, when you take the light out of a place, the darkness prevails.
Calvinism. I'm pretty sure I'm a full fledged, five point Calvinist now. Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited atonement, Irresistible grace, and the Perseverance of the saints.
The Baptist Faith and Message. I just read it (http://www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp#x). I agree with most of it, which surprised me a little bit. Part of what I have a hard time agreeing with is the stance on baptism, which states "Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." It goes on to be a lot longer, but my problem with the statement listed is that...where is that scriptural? I haven't seen anywhere in the Bible that emphatically states "this is the right way to do baptism and not that way." I've come to a point where I see the great merit in both believer's baptism AND in covenant baptism (which many would label "infant" baptism, though that's not necessarily what it always is.) It ultimately boils down to a heart issue, but "Christian baptism is the immersion...?" Is it really? I don't think immersion is wrong. I don't think covenant baptism is THE be all end all to the baptism debate. But I also have a hard time going with something that says that the Christian way of life is emphatically this, and therefore not that, when scripture is not clear on the issue. Personally, I have come to believe it is a sign of the new covenant, similar to the way circumcision was the sign of the old covenant. One major objection to covenant baptism is that often times, babies are being baptized, and people say "well that baby doesn't know what it's doing!" But they didn't exactly have any say in circumcision at 8 days old, either. This point actually probably could be turned into an entire post, but I'm not going to do that. Another interesting point of the BF&M is point XVI, "Peace and War." It says that Christians are to seek peace with all men on principles of righteousness, and that Christians should seek to end war at all costs. I agree with this completely, but I'm afraid we've done a pretty poor job of it. I'm as guilty of this as anyone - I remember back in 2003 when I heard that we had attacked Iraq, I was literally excited. It literally was like some kind of bloodlust for war. Funny how seven years later, that war is still raging. And the church, the politically conservative, Christian, evangelical church has remained largely silent on the issue. I think we can both support our soldiers (as we should - it is not their call to go to war) while still oppose the war itself.
Morality. In line with what I said earlier, about saying "this or that is emphatically right", where does a lot of our morality come from? Alcohol is the best example I can come up with right now (my body does still feel like it's on central time, ha), but as southerners, where do we come up with this idea that alcohol is completely and totally wrong? I mean, Proverbs 20:1 says that "wine is a mocker and beer [or strong drink] is a brawler." OK...so if it's across the board wrong, the New Testament would affirm that, right? Well, in Paul's description of what a deacon, or overseer, should be, doesn't seem to say that it's completely wrong. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 suggests that they should be temperate, not abstinent. Further, 1 Corinthians 6:12 says everything is lawful, but not everything is helpful; everything is lawful, but I shall not be enslaved by anything. Obviously, if it becomes a controlling thing, it's wrong, but the same standard applies to...anything. Caffeine. Chocolate. Church. Money. Cars. Sex. Music. Fame. Anything! So why does alcohol get such special treatment? I just don't understand why it's such a big deal.
Sports. I am sick of college baseball. I want this season to be over, so we can move on to thinking about football. I want to learn golf, too.
Movies. Can't wait to see the A-Team. This summer has been solid with movies so far and should only get better.
Music. Been listening to Matt Costa, Mumford & Sons, and of course the Avetts. Lots of other stuff too, but those are the main 3. Jon Foreman is good, but sometimes can be super super whiny.
So those are some things I have been mulling over lately. My mind has been working overtime, it seems, but I'm having a blast in Hawaii. A full report from the trip will come when I get back.
Insomnia is for winners
<3 chanchan
-reading the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (I may do this later, actually)
-watching The Boondock Saints
-doing P90X - I have been majorly slacking off this week...not good
I am obviously not doing any of those things. I'm actually sitting here, listening to the Avett Brothers: Live, Vol. 2, and thinking about the week and what's been going on. And I have come up with some different thoughts, probably none long enough on their own to make one solitary post about. So...here are some ramblings:
Church. Just a precursor: everything I mention about having a problem with the church is something I am guilty of, too. So I'm not casting stones. I've been thinking a lot about church lately. What it is, what it should look like, things like that. And one thing that is disheartening to me about a lot of churches is that it seems like they are trying to isolate themselves from the world. I mean, think about it. Some churches have their own gyms, their own coffee shops, their own schools, their own bookstores, their own...shoot, you name it and they have it. I remember a few weeks ago I wound up at a church in Hattiesburg, MS (dreadful town, BTW) and walking around and literally feeling my spirit crushed because of the symbol of Christian excess this church seemed to be. Looking at everything in there, there was no reason whatsoever for a member of that church to ever interact with a person who was not a Christian. Shoot, there wasn't even any reason for a member of that church to interact with a member of another church. The reason that society is "degrading" or whatever it is doing is because we, as Christians, are removing the light from the world. I don't necessarily think it is Satan at work (in some cases it obviously is, but I think a lot of Christians are too quick to write off bad stuff happening as the work of the devil), but I think it is the fact that a. Christians are withdrawing from public schools, the local Y, the coffee shop downtown with the weird looking kids working at it, whatever it may be, and b. in the absence of the light, natural man is just acting like...well...natural man. Obviously in some places our enemy is working and doing things, but I think we want to just say "oh that's the work of the devil" so that we can absolve ourselves of responsibility. But the Bible describes the human heart as wicked! Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" It's just the condition of totally depraved man. So, when you take the light out of a place, the darkness prevails.
Calvinism. I'm pretty sure I'm a full fledged, five point Calvinist now. Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited atonement, Irresistible grace, and the Perseverance of the saints.
The Baptist Faith and Message. I just read it (http://www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp#x). I agree with most of it, which surprised me a little bit. Part of what I have a hard time agreeing with is the stance on baptism, which states "Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." It goes on to be a lot longer, but my problem with the statement listed is that...where is that scriptural? I haven't seen anywhere in the Bible that emphatically states "this is the right way to do baptism and not that way." I've come to a point where I see the great merit in both believer's baptism AND in covenant baptism (which many would label "infant" baptism, though that's not necessarily what it always is.) It ultimately boils down to a heart issue, but "Christian baptism is the immersion...?" Is it really? I don't think immersion is wrong. I don't think covenant baptism is THE be all end all to the baptism debate. But I also have a hard time going with something that says that the Christian way of life is emphatically this, and therefore not that, when scripture is not clear on the issue. Personally, I have come to believe it is a sign of the new covenant, similar to the way circumcision was the sign of the old covenant. One major objection to covenant baptism is that often times, babies are being baptized, and people say "well that baby doesn't know what it's doing!" But they didn't exactly have any say in circumcision at 8 days old, either. This point actually probably could be turned into an entire post, but I'm not going to do that. Another interesting point of the BF&M is point XVI, "Peace and War." It says that Christians are to seek peace with all men on principles of righteousness, and that Christians should seek to end war at all costs. I agree with this completely, but I'm afraid we've done a pretty poor job of it. I'm as guilty of this as anyone - I remember back in 2003 when I heard that we had attacked Iraq, I was literally excited. It literally was like some kind of bloodlust for war. Funny how seven years later, that war is still raging. And the church, the politically conservative, Christian, evangelical church has remained largely silent on the issue. I think we can both support our soldiers (as we should - it is not their call to go to war) while still oppose the war itself.
Morality. In line with what I said earlier, about saying "this or that is emphatically right", where does a lot of our morality come from? Alcohol is the best example I can come up with right now (my body does still feel like it's on central time, ha), but as southerners, where do we come up with this idea that alcohol is completely and totally wrong? I mean, Proverbs 20:1 says that "wine is a mocker and beer [or strong drink] is a brawler." OK...so if it's across the board wrong, the New Testament would affirm that, right? Well, in Paul's description of what a deacon, or overseer, should be, doesn't seem to say that it's completely wrong. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 suggests that they should be temperate, not abstinent. Further, 1 Corinthians 6:12 says everything is lawful, but not everything is helpful; everything is lawful, but I shall not be enslaved by anything. Obviously, if it becomes a controlling thing, it's wrong, but the same standard applies to...anything. Caffeine. Chocolate. Church. Money. Cars. Sex. Music. Fame. Anything! So why does alcohol get such special treatment? I just don't understand why it's such a big deal.
Sports. I am sick of college baseball. I want this season to be over, so we can move on to thinking about football. I want to learn golf, too.
Movies. Can't wait to see the A-Team. This summer has been solid with movies so far and should only get better.
Music. Been listening to Matt Costa, Mumford & Sons, and of course the Avetts. Lots of other stuff too, but those are the main 3. Jon Foreman is good, but sometimes can be super super whiny.
So those are some things I have been mulling over lately. My mind has been working overtime, it seems, but I'm having a blast in Hawaii. A full report from the trip will come when I get back.
Insomnia is for winners
<3 chanchan
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