Goodbyes suck.
Seriously. They do. As many times as I've had to participate in these dreadful events, you'd think they get easier. They don't.
Tonight, my good friend Curt Liles officially announced something we all knew - he's stepping down as the middle school pastor at Crossgates Baptist Church to head to Oxford to start a church. And though I knew it was coming, and have known for a couple of weeks, it wasn't an easy thing to hear, and it's something that probably won't set in for a while.
I haven't had the privilege of knowing Curt for very long, seeing as we officially met in January, but my mom (who is also on staff at CBC) has been telling me for quite some time that he and I would hit it off and that we are a lot alike. And over the past six months I've literally been scared at how similar we are. From our love for all things Ole Miss to video games to just the overall weirdness both of us possess, it is a bit scary. But it's the similarities that make this goodbye thing bittersweet instead of just bitter.
One of the biggest things we have in common is our heart for Oxford, Mississippi. People always say Ole Miss is the best 5 or 6 (or seven) years of your life, and there were definitely times that statement rang true for me. It's an amazing town that is always going to have a special place in my heart.
But Oxford is in need of something that's not there. For a town in the Bible belt, it's surprisingly dark. But I don't think it's a town that is hostile to the gospel - in fact I think it's hungry. And I think that when someone gets there and starts preaching AND living truth, it's going to spread like wildfire. I really believe that. I'm not saying that I think the churches there just suck and are failing and all of that, but I do know from experience the town needs something that's not currently there. It's frustrating to me because I spend a lot of time on Ole Miss message boards and whenever the issue for Sunday alcohol sales comes up, the Baptist churches go crazy and whip up a huge frenzy and vote it down and then they disappear again, and seeing people's reaction to all of this is heartbreaking because people just look and say "oh, Sunday sales are up for vote again, here come the Christians" and then "oh, Sunday sales got shot down again, there go the Christians." And it's frustrating.
Oxford needs a church that is going to be more than that. Part of why I loved RUF so much was because I felt like they were good in this area - both desiring truth and living a Christian life. Not just harping on alcohol, and not just trying to "live in the spirit" with no sense of direction or doctrine or truth, but finding the balance. And that's what I think Curt is going to do, but hopefully out of the university setting.
I also understand that it's not a complete and total goodbye. Oxford is still my home away from home and now I have yet another excuse/reason to go. I can't wait to see what God has in store for Curt, Stephanie, and Laney, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for Oxford. It's going to be big.
Also, for any of the Oxford peeps that happen to read this, be on the lookout. It's gonna get freaky real soon.
-chanchan
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Sunday, July 18, 2010
The Redemption Project - Mission Tour 2010
Before I get started, let it be known that this is a time that I really wish I were interested at all in photography, because this past week would have presented hundreds of opportunities to take pictures of stuff. But I will leave that up to my good friend (and very talented photographer) Sarah, and you can see pictures and stuff from our trip here.
So this past week I got to experience my first ever Mission Tour with Crossgates Baptist Church, and I have to say, it was a very frustrating, tiring, and at times downright annoying trip. Yet, at the same time, it was phenomenal. I mean really - even though I'm going to try, there's no way to sum this thing up with words. It was a comedy of errors in a lot of ways, but it was definitely proof that God has a sense of humor. And as I thought about what to title this post, (Plan B, The Comedy of Errors, Mission Tour 2010, The Notebook, The CBC Wrecking Crew, etc.) only one phrase from the entire week stuck with me: The Redemption Project. Technically we only helped out with that particular project on the last day, but looking back it sums up our trip perfectly.
First, though, a parable.
Luke 10:25-37:
[25] And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” [26] He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” [27] And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” [28] And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”
[29] But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” [30] Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. [31] Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. [32] So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. [33] But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. [34] He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. [35] And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ [36] Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” [37] He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”
This is significant. I'm still unpacking the ins and outs of it in my mind, and it's like a new revelation every time I think about it, but this passage is the crux of any kind of mission work. And I don't mean the kind of mission work that sends you to some place to just yell really loud about the Bible and get some people to pray some prayers and then you leave them, because...well, I don't think that really does anything but feed your ego. I'm talking about real, tangible work - serving and proclaiming the gospel. And though there was no animosity from our group towards the people of Nashville, in this instance we were the Samaritans. At least in the sense of us observing some people in desperate need of help and offering it. And this parable is a story about who we are called to love and who is our neighbor, but just like every other one of Jesus' teachings, it also proclaims the gospel. Because while we saw people in need of help and Jesus allowed us to be a part of his plan and offer that help, we have to recognize ourselves as the helpless person beaten within an inch of our lives and Christ as our good Samaritan before we can be that to anyone else.
Simply put, our work this week was a tangible, physical, obvious representation of the Gospel. I found it interesting that most of our work depended on destruction, and I couldn't help but think about the houses we worked on as an example of our own lives and our own sanctification. In our own lives, before God can build anything, he has to tear down the junk we've built up in our lives. We try to bring our own accomplishments before God - our own righteousness - and he laughs. Isaiah says that our righteousness is but filthy rags before God. And so our righteousness must be torn down before God can start to instill his own into us. I told my room that. It's something that ran through my mind all week and the weight of it becomes heavier and heavier the more I think about it. It literally blows my mind.
But yeah. The trip was incredible. God showed up in a lot of ways - whether it was literally moving a storm around us so that we could perform in the park, keeping us safe from our really nice (but not always attentive) bus drivers, giving us stuff to do when the weather got rough, or just the grace of having around 100 people do manual labor that was somewhat dangerous and nobody being seriously injured, God showed up.
For me, though, the coolest part of the trip was what happened on Thursday. Driving back from Nashville, we passed through Madison, Alabama, and helped out with a church some former CBC members, (and dear friends) Mark and Staci Sellers. They helped plant a church a few years ago (and God help me but I'm blanking on the name) and they finally have acquired a building that they are renovating into their church. The project of converting the building into a church has been dubbed "The Redemption Project" because the building used to be a strip club. When I heard that, I almost broke down at the beauty of what was happening. A building that used to be the pinnacle of brokenness and despair is being turned into a literal light on a hill to serve that whole city.
And that, my friends, is what Christianity is all about. It's about redemption. And redemption is possible because Christ defeated death and all of the crap that goes along with it. And because of that, we, who were once dead, get to participate in His incredible plan. All because there's a tomb in the Middle East somewhere that's empty.
Beautiful, y'all. Just beautiful.
-chanchan
So this past week I got to experience my first ever Mission Tour with Crossgates Baptist Church, and I have to say, it was a very frustrating, tiring, and at times downright annoying trip. Yet, at the same time, it was phenomenal. I mean really - even though I'm going to try, there's no way to sum this thing up with words. It was a comedy of errors in a lot of ways, but it was definitely proof that God has a sense of humor. And as I thought about what to title this post, (Plan B, The Comedy of Errors, Mission Tour 2010, The Notebook, The CBC Wrecking Crew, etc.) only one phrase from the entire week stuck with me: The Redemption Project. Technically we only helped out with that particular project on the last day, but looking back it sums up our trip perfectly.
First, though, a parable.
Luke 10:25-37:
[25] And behold, a lawyer stood up to put him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” [26] He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How do you read it?” [27] And he answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself.” [28] And he said to him, “You have answered correctly; do this, and you will live.”
[29] But he, desiring to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?” [30] Jesus replied, “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who stripped him and beat him and departed, leaving him half dead. [31] Now by chance a priest was going down that road, and when he saw him he passed by on the other side. [32] So likewise a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. [33] But a Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was, and when he saw him, he had compassion. [34] He went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he set him on his own animal and brought him to an inn and took care of him. [35] And the next day he took out two denarii and gave them to the innkeeper, saying, ‘Take care of him, and whatever more you spend, I will repay you when I come back.’ [36] Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?” [37] He said, “The one who showed him mercy.” And Jesus said to him, “You go, and do likewise.”
This is significant. I'm still unpacking the ins and outs of it in my mind, and it's like a new revelation every time I think about it, but this passage is the crux of any kind of mission work. And I don't mean the kind of mission work that sends you to some place to just yell really loud about the Bible and get some people to pray some prayers and then you leave them, because...well, I don't think that really does anything but feed your ego. I'm talking about real, tangible work - serving and proclaiming the gospel. And though there was no animosity from our group towards the people of Nashville, in this instance we were the Samaritans. At least in the sense of us observing some people in desperate need of help and offering it. And this parable is a story about who we are called to love and who is our neighbor, but just like every other one of Jesus' teachings, it also proclaims the gospel. Because while we saw people in need of help and Jesus allowed us to be a part of his plan and offer that help, we have to recognize ourselves as the helpless person beaten within an inch of our lives and Christ as our good Samaritan before we can be that to anyone else.
Simply put, our work this week was a tangible, physical, obvious representation of the Gospel. I found it interesting that most of our work depended on destruction, and I couldn't help but think about the houses we worked on as an example of our own lives and our own sanctification. In our own lives, before God can build anything, he has to tear down the junk we've built up in our lives. We try to bring our own accomplishments before God - our own righteousness - and he laughs. Isaiah says that our righteousness is but filthy rags before God. And so our righteousness must be torn down before God can start to instill his own into us. I told my room that. It's something that ran through my mind all week and the weight of it becomes heavier and heavier the more I think about it. It literally blows my mind.
But yeah. The trip was incredible. God showed up in a lot of ways - whether it was literally moving a storm around us so that we could perform in the park, keeping us safe from our really nice (but not always attentive) bus drivers, giving us stuff to do when the weather got rough, or just the grace of having around 100 people do manual labor that was somewhat dangerous and nobody being seriously injured, God showed up.
For me, though, the coolest part of the trip was what happened on Thursday. Driving back from Nashville, we passed through Madison, Alabama, and helped out with a church some former CBC members, (and dear friends) Mark and Staci Sellers. They helped plant a church a few years ago (and God help me but I'm blanking on the name) and they finally have acquired a building that they are renovating into their church. The project of converting the building into a church has been dubbed "The Redemption Project" because the building used to be a strip club. When I heard that, I almost broke down at the beauty of what was happening. A building that used to be the pinnacle of brokenness and despair is being turned into a literal light on a hill to serve that whole city.
And that, my friends, is what Christianity is all about. It's about redemption. And redemption is possible because Christ defeated death and all of the crap that goes along with it. And because of that, we, who were once dead, get to participate in His incredible plan. All because there's a tomb in the Middle East somewhere that's empty.
Beautiful, y'all. Just beautiful.
-chanchan
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Restlessness Inside
Change in life is inevitable. Sometimes, you never see it coming, like when you find out your co-worker is a vampire by watching him bite his girlfriend's neck on an A&E documentary. That changes your life in ways you probably can't imagine. But that's also the kind that blindsides you. Sometimes it's something completely ridiculous like Phil the Vampire, sometimes it's serious like death, or sometimes it's incredible, but it blindsides you.
But sometimes you feel change coming. Maybe it comes when you know stuff is on the horizon that hasn't been made public yet, maybe it comes when you've just been feeling it, and maybe it's God telling you to get ready, but you just feel it.
Right now I have an incredible sense of foreboding that pretty major change is coming. Maybe even really soon. But I think it's coming. I mean, I'll obviously need to be finding a job soon, but with that likely comes changing churches which means...well...it means a lot of things. Hopefully with the job comes a new place to live, and with that just a general sense of responsibility that comes with growing up and facing life head on.
The thing that gets me about all of this, though, is that I've realized that I am what's hindering the change. I've more or less dragged my feet in several areas, and they've all been in the name of some "good" things, but I'm going to go crazy if I don't quit screwing around and just dive headfirst into something.
This isn't as insightful as I had maybe hoped it would be, but it's just something I needed to get off my chest. My soul is restless and it's time to do something about it.
But sometimes you feel change coming. Maybe it comes when you know stuff is on the horizon that hasn't been made public yet, maybe it comes when you've just been feeling it, and maybe it's God telling you to get ready, but you just feel it.
Right now I have an incredible sense of foreboding that pretty major change is coming. Maybe even really soon. But I think it's coming. I mean, I'll obviously need to be finding a job soon, but with that likely comes changing churches which means...well...it means a lot of things. Hopefully with the job comes a new place to live, and with that just a general sense of responsibility that comes with growing up and facing life head on.
The thing that gets me about all of this, though, is that I've realized that I am what's hindering the change. I've more or less dragged my feet in several areas, and they've all been in the name of some "good" things, but I'm going to go crazy if I don't quit screwing around and just dive headfirst into something.
This isn't as insightful as I had maybe hoped it would be, but it's just something I needed to get off my chest. My soul is restless and it's time to do something about it.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Music (feedback encouraged)
I feel like everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks can more or less be summed up by things related to music that I've dealt with. First, the incredible:
My friend, Marshall FREAKING West, got on stage and sang with Relient K. The best thing about that happening was the fact that it was perhaps simply the icing on the most epic cake of a day that has ever existed. Started off leaving Brandon around noon, and when we hit Tuscaloosa (a city I absolutely despise except for one thing...) we stopped at a record store so Marshall and Matt could check out some vinyls. Lake and I decided that since we were the fat guys and we were hungry, we should definitely eat, and when you are hungry in Tuscaloosa there is only one option - Dreamland. So we did it. It was epic, and it was capped off with free banana pudding. Seriously, what's better than banana pudding? Especially really good banana pudding you didn't pay for? I can think of one thing, but I'm saving that for marriage. So I'm going with best thing in my single, v-card carrying life. Then we headed off to Alabama Adventures, the worst theme park in America, to catch Relient K. We rolled up and realized we were pretty far back in line, so a plan was devised. The four of us were to stand near the merch table until the doors opened, then we'd just walk in. In the process of doing this, we wound up on the front row. Like THE front row. Marshall decided that he wanted to get on stage and sing, so he made a sign saying "please let me sing with you." Pretty much the whole show he got ignored until the final song when Matt Thiessen walked over and stuck the mic in his face. Epic win, right? It gets better, hold on. The band runs off the stage, people chant for an encore, and the guitarist comes up to us and grabs Marshall off the front row and tells him he's singing on "Sadie Hawkins Dance" because Thiessen didn't feel like singing anymore. So Marshall did it. To say we were going nuts is the greatest understatement in the history of understatements. Even a week later, we're all still a little ecstatic. Unbelievable experience, and as if I didn't already love Relient K enough,they assured that day they'd have at least one fan for life.
Now, this is the part where I want some feedback. I realize I probably care about theology way more than most people, which is fine. I also realize I love hymns more than most people (and this article is a good example of why we still need hymns) but my question is this. Does it matter what the writer of a song believes if the song is sung at church? For example, if a song written by a group that denies the existence of the Trinity and denies the doctrine of justification by faith alone, should we just say "well the words are pretty and it builds up to a great worship moment", should we throw it out because it's false teaching, or...should we do something else? I ask this question because I was reading up on Philips, Craig & Dean the other day and they believe some pretty weird things. Particularly being the two mentioned like a sentence before. To me, it's a pretty significant issue.
It goes like this: these guys are all pastors/music pastors at Oneness Pentecostal churches. Oneness Pentecostals believe that God is one being that at different times manifests himself as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, each being temporary and limited in existence. I (and most mainline denominations) believe that The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit are three separate, equal beings that make up God. It's tricky. But I believe scripture backs up the view of the Trinity. Just as one example, John 14:16-17 features Jesus (son) talking about asking his Father (father) to send the Helper (Holy Spirit), which implies that all three are in existence, and that each member is not just God in different manifestations as Oneness Pentecostals suggest. Also, how could three manifestations of the same thing interact with another manifestation of the same thing the same way the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit interact with one another? They also call the belief in the Trinity "polytheism". Interesting.
Now, I can admit that the doctrine of the Trinity is confusing. I don't fully understand it, but based on what I can see in Scripture and what a lot of people I respect have talked about and written, I can accept it. It's pretty vital to what we believe about God, and what you believe about God determines how you act towards him.
That said, it's still a tricky subject. The next one isn't.
I don't see any room in the Gospel, period, for anything other than faith alone. Oneness Pentecostalism, however, doesn't buy it. They believe that you have to a. accept Christ, b. get baptized, and c. speak in tongues. Not only that, but if you baptize in the name of the "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit", you're doing it wrong. Water baptism is ONLY to be performed in the name of Jesus. Then you have the spirit baptism in the Holy Spirit, which involves speaking in tongues.
Paul wrote about that kind of stuff a lot. He talks again and again about how salvation is only linked to Christ's death - not to those other things. Baptism is simply symbolic. Whether you go for covenant baptism (yay!) or believer's baptism, it is not the act that contributes to salvation. Ephesians 2:8-9 says that we are saved by faith, not works, so that no one can boast. There are tons of other verses on it.
So, with all of that said, my question is this: should we be concerned with their beliefs? Because I'm concerned with what we are saying if we just go along with this stuff. I mean, at what point does stuff become so contradictory to scripture that it isn't Christian anymore? I don't want to accuse anyone of anything because I haven't done exhaustive research on Oneness Pentecostalism (actually I just read this article).
I just feel like in our postmodern society, we need to be focusing a lot more on doctrine and affirming right teaching because it is a time where everything comes into question.
Gah I don't know if this made any sense at all...it's kind of confusing to me and I've been mulling it over for a while. Also, I'm sleepy. So I quit for now.
Nite,
<3 chanchan
My friend, Marshall FREAKING West, got on stage and sang with Relient K. The best thing about that happening was the fact that it was perhaps simply the icing on the most epic cake of a day that has ever existed. Started off leaving Brandon around noon, and when we hit Tuscaloosa (a city I absolutely despise except for one thing...) we stopped at a record store so Marshall and Matt could check out some vinyls. Lake and I decided that since we were the fat guys and we were hungry, we should definitely eat, and when you are hungry in Tuscaloosa there is only one option - Dreamland. So we did it. It was epic, and it was capped off with free banana pudding. Seriously, what's better than banana pudding? Especially really good banana pudding you didn't pay for? I can think of one thing, but I'm saving that for marriage. So I'm going with best thing in my single, v-card carrying life. Then we headed off to Alabama Adventures, the worst theme park in America, to catch Relient K. We rolled up and realized we were pretty far back in line, so a plan was devised. The four of us were to stand near the merch table until the doors opened, then we'd just walk in. In the process of doing this, we wound up on the front row. Like THE front row. Marshall decided that he wanted to get on stage and sing, so he made a sign saying "please let me sing with you." Pretty much the whole show he got ignored until the final song when Matt Thiessen walked over and stuck the mic in his face. Epic win, right? It gets better, hold on. The band runs off the stage, people chant for an encore, and the guitarist comes up to us and grabs Marshall off the front row and tells him he's singing on "Sadie Hawkins Dance" because Thiessen didn't feel like singing anymore. So Marshall did it. To say we were going nuts is the greatest understatement in the history of understatements. Even a week later, we're all still a little ecstatic. Unbelievable experience, and as if I didn't already love Relient K enough,they assured that day they'd have at least one fan for life.
Now, this is the part where I want some feedback. I realize I probably care about theology way more than most people, which is fine. I also realize I love hymns more than most people (and this article is a good example of why we still need hymns) but my question is this. Does it matter what the writer of a song believes if the song is sung at church? For example, if a song written by a group that denies the existence of the Trinity and denies the doctrine of justification by faith alone, should we just say "well the words are pretty and it builds up to a great worship moment", should we throw it out because it's false teaching, or...should we do something else? I ask this question because I was reading up on Philips, Craig & Dean the other day and they believe some pretty weird things. Particularly being the two mentioned like a sentence before. To me, it's a pretty significant issue.
It goes like this: these guys are all pastors/music pastors at Oneness Pentecostal churches. Oneness Pentecostals believe that God is one being that at different times manifests himself as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, each being temporary and limited in existence. I (and most mainline denominations) believe that The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit are three separate, equal beings that make up God. It's tricky. But I believe scripture backs up the view of the Trinity. Just as one example, John 14:16-17 features Jesus (son) talking about asking his Father (father) to send the Helper (Holy Spirit), which implies that all three are in existence, and that each member is not just God in different manifestations as Oneness Pentecostals suggest. Also, how could three manifestations of the same thing interact with another manifestation of the same thing the same way the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit interact with one another? They also call the belief in the Trinity "polytheism". Interesting.
Now, I can admit that the doctrine of the Trinity is confusing. I don't fully understand it, but based on what I can see in Scripture and what a lot of people I respect have talked about and written, I can accept it. It's pretty vital to what we believe about God, and what you believe about God determines how you act towards him.
That said, it's still a tricky subject. The next one isn't.
I don't see any room in the Gospel, period, for anything other than faith alone. Oneness Pentecostalism, however, doesn't buy it. They believe that you have to a. accept Christ, b. get baptized, and c. speak in tongues. Not only that, but if you baptize in the name of the "Father, Son, and Holy Spirit", you're doing it wrong. Water baptism is ONLY to be performed in the name of Jesus. Then you have the spirit baptism in the Holy Spirit, which involves speaking in tongues.
Paul wrote about that kind of stuff a lot. He talks again and again about how salvation is only linked to Christ's death - not to those other things. Baptism is simply symbolic. Whether you go for covenant baptism (yay!) or believer's baptism, it is not the act that contributes to salvation. Ephesians 2:8-9 says that we are saved by faith, not works, so that no one can boast. There are tons of other verses on it.
So, with all of that said, my question is this: should we be concerned with their beliefs? Because I'm concerned with what we are saying if we just go along with this stuff. I mean, at what point does stuff become so contradictory to scripture that it isn't Christian anymore? I don't want to accuse anyone of anything because I haven't done exhaustive research on Oneness Pentecostalism (actually I just read this article).
I just feel like in our postmodern society, we need to be focusing a lot more on doctrine and affirming right teaching because it is a time where everything comes into question.
Gah I don't know if this made any sense at all...it's kind of confusing to me and I've been mulling it over for a while. Also, I'm sleepy. So I quit for now.
Nite,
<3 chanchan
Monday, June 14, 2010
Conviction, or: Confessions, pt. II
So 1 Kings 19 describes the voice of God as a "still, small voice." God tells Elijah to wait to hear His voice and He causes an earthquake, a fire, a mighty wind, and some other things, and His voice is not present in any of them. Then comes the still small voice. A breeze. A soft whisper. Which I think is pretty cool, because we expect God to be this big mighty voice that shakes the walls and knocks people over. Which He is certainly capable of. But, this particular passage of the Bible chooses to describe the voice of God as a still, small voice. I think when people hear that phrase, they expect it to be this gentle whisper, this pleasant little thing that just kind of comes along and is all like "Oh, the dear sweet eight pound six ounce baby Jesus wants me to go do this" and they just peacefully move along and easily transition into whatever the 8 lb. 6 oz. version of our Savior wants them to do. But I don't think that's necessarily how it works.
Sometimes, the still small voice doubles as a kick to the nuts.
That expression may be a little crass, but it's the truth. I know because it has been happening to me time and time again over the last 2 weeks. Maybe I'll write about the other stuff some other time, but this time I'm focusing on tonight.
During our evening worship service, Scott Ross spoke briefly and then had some different groups come up and share about their experiences on various mission trips over the last few months. We've had people serving here in Mississippi, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Haiti, and India, and each group had a pretty cool story to tell. The particular story that moved me the most was a story about a lady named Wincey. She had a husband and four kids, but then her husband died and she started to struggle with abusing drugs and alcohol. Then, in an attempt to make some money to keep her home, she started working at a strip club. After three days, she realized enough was enough and reached out to several churches in the area and Crossgates reached out and helped her rebuild a burned out trailer someone had given her. During the story, Wincey actually came down to the front of the church and told bits and pieces of her story with the other guy who was talking. After they finished talking and walked off, something hit me.
A former stripper came down to the front of the church and told her story.
In the church. In a place where people often times feel judged and condemned, this lady felt comfortable enough to do that. That blew my mind, and honestly I was thanking God that I went to a church where something like that could happen.
But throughout the night, as we heard story after story of God's redemptive love moving in incredible ways around the world, I started to hear the voice. I feel like I very clearly heard God tell me "Chandler, this is what I want for you. This is the plan I have for you."
And that was the kick to the balls.
I saw the passion that the people speaking had for other people and for the Gospel and I realized...I don't have that. I'm closer than I was, but I'm not there yet. But the conviction came when I realized I'm the one slowing up the process. I'm the one who sits around and plays XBOX for hours on end. I'm the one who continually flirts with the line in almost every situation. I'm the one who says a quick five minute prayer before I go to sleep. I'm terribly lazy - I pretty much have been my whole life. I mean, I'm the guy who would go to campus, try to find a parking spot, not find a parking spot, and go home. Diligence has just never been a strong suit of mine.
But I realized tonight...I want that passion. I want my heart to break for something - whether it's middle school students at Crossgates (which actually it already has to an extent) or starving old people in Africa, I want that passion.
And I want a deeper passion for the Gospel.
So many times I think people (myself definitely included) look at the Gospel as just...I don't know how to explain it other than to tell a story. I'm paraphrasing, but this is a story from John Piper's Desiring God. He tells the story of a minister who is asked if he were to find out on his deathbed that Jesus was fake, that the whole story was made up, how would it change his life? And the guy answers that he'd be sad, sure, but he could at least take solace in the fact he was nice to other people, helped people, and just generally lived a good life.
Piper makes the point that that is the WRONG answer. 1 Corinthians 15:17 says that if Christ is not risen then our faith is FUTILE. If this isn't true...if this isn't real, we are wasting our lives. But if it is, and I believe it, my life has purpose. My life is not just there, it is real and purposeful.
And so...why don't I live that way? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I not do the things I don't do?
I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to sit back and just let stuff happen - I want to take life head on. I want my heart to break for something, for someone. Like I said, I'm getting there, but I'm the one slowing this up.
I have no idea what I'm going to do - no clue what's going to change this or if it even will any time soon. But eventually it will. Eventually it's going to. I just don't want it to happen five years from now and I realize...hey, I should have done this years ago.
I also realize that this life is not performance based. It's not up to be to initiate any of this, and I definitely can't do it without a calling. But if I'm called, and I just sit there...well, that's a bad idea too.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts at 2:30 in the morning.
<3chanchan
Sometimes, the still small voice doubles as a kick to the nuts.
That expression may be a little crass, but it's the truth. I know because it has been happening to me time and time again over the last 2 weeks. Maybe I'll write about the other stuff some other time, but this time I'm focusing on tonight.
During our evening worship service, Scott Ross spoke briefly and then had some different groups come up and share about their experiences on various mission trips over the last few months. We've had people serving here in Mississippi, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Haiti, and India, and each group had a pretty cool story to tell. The particular story that moved me the most was a story about a lady named Wincey. She had a husband and four kids, but then her husband died and she started to struggle with abusing drugs and alcohol. Then, in an attempt to make some money to keep her home, she started working at a strip club. After three days, she realized enough was enough and reached out to several churches in the area and Crossgates reached out and helped her rebuild a burned out trailer someone had given her. During the story, Wincey actually came down to the front of the church and told bits and pieces of her story with the other guy who was talking. After they finished talking and walked off, something hit me.
A former stripper came down to the front of the church and told her story.
In the church. In a place where people often times feel judged and condemned, this lady felt comfortable enough to do that. That blew my mind, and honestly I was thanking God that I went to a church where something like that could happen.
But throughout the night, as we heard story after story of God's redemptive love moving in incredible ways around the world, I started to hear the voice. I feel like I very clearly heard God tell me "Chandler, this is what I want for you. This is the plan I have for you."
And that was the kick to the balls.
I saw the passion that the people speaking had for other people and for the Gospel and I realized...I don't have that. I'm closer than I was, but I'm not there yet. But the conviction came when I realized I'm the one slowing up the process. I'm the one who sits around and plays XBOX for hours on end. I'm the one who continually flirts with the line in almost every situation. I'm the one who says a quick five minute prayer before I go to sleep. I'm terribly lazy - I pretty much have been my whole life. I mean, I'm the guy who would go to campus, try to find a parking spot, not find a parking spot, and go home. Diligence has just never been a strong suit of mine.
But I realized tonight...I want that passion. I want my heart to break for something - whether it's middle school students at Crossgates (which actually it already has to an extent) or starving old people in Africa, I want that passion.
And I want a deeper passion for the Gospel.
So many times I think people (myself definitely included) look at the Gospel as just...I don't know how to explain it other than to tell a story. I'm paraphrasing, but this is a story from John Piper's Desiring God. He tells the story of a minister who is asked if he were to find out on his deathbed that Jesus was fake, that the whole story was made up, how would it change his life? And the guy answers that he'd be sad, sure, but he could at least take solace in the fact he was nice to other people, helped people, and just generally lived a good life.
Piper makes the point that that is the WRONG answer. 1 Corinthians 15:17 says that if Christ is not risen then our faith is FUTILE. If this isn't true...if this isn't real, we are wasting our lives. But if it is, and I believe it, my life has purpose. My life is not just there, it is real and purposeful.
And so...why don't I live that way? Why do I do the things I do? Why do I not do the things I don't do?
I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to sit back and just let stuff happen - I want to take life head on. I want my heart to break for something, for someone. Like I said, I'm getting there, but I'm the one slowing this up.
I have no idea what I'm going to do - no clue what's going to change this or if it even will any time soon. But eventually it will. Eventually it's going to. I just don't want it to happen five years from now and I realize...hey, I should have done this years ago.
I also realize that this life is not performance based. It's not up to be to initiate any of this, and I definitely can't do it without a calling. But if I'm called, and I just sit there...well, that's a bad idea too.
Anyway, these are just some thoughts at 2:30 in the morning.
<3chanchan
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Geocaching, Good Friends, and the Gospel
So when I told people I was going on a mission trip to Hawaii, most of them kind of laughed it off with a "yeah right" kind of smirk, and I have to admit, for a mission trip it was pretty cushy. We stayed in a super nice house on a golf course and had a crew cab z71 to drive around as much as we wanted. Not quite the same digs my friends on the Haiti team (praying for you guys...come home safely!) are staying in this week, but upon getting settled in and getting started, it became evident what a place of need we were in.
Hawaii has a reputation for being this tropical paradise where life is perfect and is nothing more than a getaway for the rich and famous. Nothing could be further than the truth. Somebody has to work at the airports, somebody has to tend the grounds at the golf courses, somebody has to drive the boats, somebody has to work at the resorts, and everything else in between. So, while the tropical paradise reality exists, there is another side that the tourist types never see.
That was the side we got to see.
The island of Lanai is a really small island that used to be a pineapple plantation. Not going to go into a lot of detail about the history of the place, but it's not a pineapple plantation anymore and most of the people that live there work at the resorts. There's a good bit of poverty on the island and seeing as tourism is their main source of income, and the tourism industry is kind of taking a hit because of the economy, people are having to leave the island to find work and things like that. So it's not exactly the tropical paradise a lot of people expect it to be.
I say all of that to kind of set the scene for the incredible week we had. God definitely showed up and did an incredible work there on the island and also in my own life.
So here goes:
What we actually did was a music camp. From 8:30 in the morning until noon I hung out with anywhere between 18 and 25 kids while they learned a bunch of new songs, several of which were nothing more than just Bible verses set to music. Also, let me say this: I hate children's music. But, seeing those kids get so excited about the fact that people were there to invest in their lives and spend time with them, but way more importantly, seeing them get so fired up about the Bible made it completely and totally worth it.
I got to know several of the kids, and they were so much fun to hang out with. One in particular, a kid named Kalei, was so much fun to watch. He started off the week as kind of a troublemaker who was really hyper and didn't really want to do what everyone else did, but throughout the week he got more and more in to what was going on and finally by Friday night, when we did the program for all the kids parents, he was up there singing his heart out and dancing and just going on and having a blast. Same story with several other kids.
We also saw several kids accept Christ. I'm not really sure how it works when kids get saved...I mean honestly I speak from my own experience because when I was 8 or 9 I really didn't understand the concepts of spiritual death and new life and being a new creation and grace and anything like that. BUT - in spite of that, the Gospel was presented and something was obviously going on in those kids lives. On top of that, for the kids who didn't necessarily respond, I have no doubt seeds were planted. It was so cool to see the things God was doing in the kids lives, and then having the chance to see the Gospel proclaimed to their parents.
The other thing that really stood out to me was David Crim and his wife, Cindy. David is the pastor at Lanai Baptist Church, and what God is doing on the island through them is incredible. They are reaching out to people, getting to know them, inviting into their home. I believe, and have for a while, that effective ministry is done relationally, and that's definitely what's happening there. It seemed like they knew everyone.
God moved in me in a big way, too. He started to convict me of some things in my own life, particularly concerning my prayer life. I'm interested to see where this goes.
Outside of the music camp, we got to see some pretty cool sights in Lanai. The beaches were beautiful, the ocean itself is phenomenal. We got to go up on a mountain and saw a wrecked naval ship (they obviously were not in the same place). Just the thought of being able to look out over the ocean and see another island was breathtaking. I mean words really can't describe the sights, and I wish they could. During the process of seeing the sights, I also found a couple of geocaches, which was pretty amazing.
Finally, as an added bonus, I got to spend Saturday with my friend Anella. We worked at Malibu together in 2007 and we have been pretty good at keeping up over the years. It just so happened that were both on Maui at the same time, so I rented a car and drove to her condo and we just spent the day swimming and reading and getting totally sunburned. It was so encouraging and refreshing to get to see her.
This post didn't turn out the way I had hoped, but mostly because I just can't find the words to describe it. Hopefully I can get a hold of the pictures from the trip, which should be able to describe it a little better. But it was an incredible trip and one I will remember forever.
Mahalo (thanks) for reading.
-chanchan
Hawaii has a reputation for being this tropical paradise where life is perfect and is nothing more than a getaway for the rich and famous. Nothing could be further than the truth. Somebody has to work at the airports, somebody has to tend the grounds at the golf courses, somebody has to drive the boats, somebody has to work at the resorts, and everything else in between. So, while the tropical paradise reality exists, there is another side that the tourist types never see.
That was the side we got to see.
The island of Lanai is a really small island that used to be a pineapple plantation. Not going to go into a lot of detail about the history of the place, but it's not a pineapple plantation anymore and most of the people that live there work at the resorts. There's a good bit of poverty on the island and seeing as tourism is their main source of income, and the tourism industry is kind of taking a hit because of the economy, people are having to leave the island to find work and things like that. So it's not exactly the tropical paradise a lot of people expect it to be.
I say all of that to kind of set the scene for the incredible week we had. God definitely showed up and did an incredible work there on the island and also in my own life.
So here goes:
What we actually did was a music camp. From 8:30 in the morning until noon I hung out with anywhere between 18 and 25 kids while they learned a bunch of new songs, several of which were nothing more than just Bible verses set to music. Also, let me say this: I hate children's music. But, seeing those kids get so excited about the fact that people were there to invest in their lives and spend time with them, but way more importantly, seeing them get so fired up about the Bible made it completely and totally worth it.
I got to know several of the kids, and they were so much fun to hang out with. One in particular, a kid named Kalei, was so much fun to watch. He started off the week as kind of a troublemaker who was really hyper and didn't really want to do what everyone else did, but throughout the week he got more and more in to what was going on and finally by Friday night, when we did the program for all the kids parents, he was up there singing his heart out and dancing and just going on and having a blast. Same story with several other kids.
We also saw several kids accept Christ. I'm not really sure how it works when kids get saved...I mean honestly I speak from my own experience because when I was 8 or 9 I really didn't understand the concepts of spiritual death and new life and being a new creation and grace and anything like that. BUT - in spite of that, the Gospel was presented and something was obviously going on in those kids lives. On top of that, for the kids who didn't necessarily respond, I have no doubt seeds were planted. It was so cool to see the things God was doing in the kids lives, and then having the chance to see the Gospel proclaimed to their parents.
The other thing that really stood out to me was David Crim and his wife, Cindy. David is the pastor at Lanai Baptist Church, and what God is doing on the island through them is incredible. They are reaching out to people, getting to know them, inviting into their home. I believe, and have for a while, that effective ministry is done relationally, and that's definitely what's happening there. It seemed like they knew everyone.
God moved in me in a big way, too. He started to convict me of some things in my own life, particularly concerning my prayer life. I'm interested to see where this goes.
Outside of the music camp, we got to see some pretty cool sights in Lanai. The beaches were beautiful, the ocean itself is phenomenal. We got to go up on a mountain and saw a wrecked naval ship (they obviously were not in the same place). Just the thought of being able to look out over the ocean and see another island was breathtaking. I mean words really can't describe the sights, and I wish they could. During the process of seeing the sights, I also found a couple of geocaches, which was pretty amazing.
Finally, as an added bonus, I got to spend Saturday with my friend Anella. We worked at Malibu together in 2007 and we have been pretty good at keeping up over the years. It just so happened that were both on Maui at the same time, so I rented a car and drove to her condo and we just spent the day swimming and reading and getting totally sunburned. It was so encouraging and refreshing to get to see her.
This post didn't turn out the way I had hoped, but mostly because I just can't find the words to describe it. Hopefully I can get a hold of the pictures from the trip, which should be able to describe it a little better. But it was an incredible trip and one I will remember forever.
Mahalo (thanks) for reading.
-chanchan
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Ramblings
It's 3:23 in the morning at home, but here in Hawaii, it is 10:23 at night and I am still wide awake more or less. I thought about doing several things, but I just don't feel like doing any of them. Some of them include:
-reading the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (I may do this later, actually)
-watching The Boondock Saints
-doing P90X - I have been majorly slacking off this week...not good
I am obviously not doing any of those things. I'm actually sitting here, listening to the Avett Brothers: Live, Vol. 2, and thinking about the week and what's been going on. And I have come up with some different thoughts, probably none long enough on their own to make one solitary post about. So...here are some ramblings:
Church. Just a precursor: everything I mention about having a problem with the church is something I am guilty of, too. So I'm not casting stones. I've been thinking a lot about church lately. What it is, what it should look like, things like that. And one thing that is disheartening to me about a lot of churches is that it seems like they are trying to isolate themselves from the world. I mean, think about it. Some churches have their own gyms, their own coffee shops, their own schools, their own bookstores, their own...shoot, you name it and they have it. I remember a few weeks ago I wound up at a church in Hattiesburg, MS (dreadful town, BTW) and walking around and literally feeling my spirit crushed because of the symbol of Christian excess this church seemed to be. Looking at everything in there, there was no reason whatsoever for a member of that church to ever interact with a person who was not a Christian. Shoot, there wasn't even any reason for a member of that church to interact with a member of another church. The reason that society is "degrading" or whatever it is doing is because we, as Christians, are removing the light from the world. I don't necessarily think it is Satan at work (in some cases it obviously is, but I think a lot of Christians are too quick to write off bad stuff happening as the work of the devil), but I think it is the fact that a. Christians are withdrawing from public schools, the local Y, the coffee shop downtown with the weird looking kids working at it, whatever it may be, and b. in the absence of the light, natural man is just acting like...well...natural man. Obviously in some places our enemy is working and doing things, but I think we want to just say "oh that's the work of the devil" so that we can absolve ourselves of responsibility. But the Bible describes the human heart as wicked! Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" It's just the condition of totally depraved man. So, when you take the light out of a place, the darkness prevails.
Calvinism. I'm pretty sure I'm a full fledged, five point Calvinist now. Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited atonement, Irresistible grace, and the Perseverance of the saints.
The Baptist Faith and Message. I just read it (http://www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp#x). I agree with most of it, which surprised me a little bit. Part of what I have a hard time agreeing with is the stance on baptism, which states "Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." It goes on to be a lot longer, but my problem with the statement listed is that...where is that scriptural? I haven't seen anywhere in the Bible that emphatically states "this is the right way to do baptism and not that way." I've come to a point where I see the great merit in both believer's baptism AND in covenant baptism (which many would label "infant" baptism, though that's not necessarily what it always is.) It ultimately boils down to a heart issue, but "Christian baptism is the immersion...?" Is it really? I don't think immersion is wrong. I don't think covenant baptism is THE be all end all to the baptism debate. But I also have a hard time going with something that says that the Christian way of life is emphatically this, and therefore not that, when scripture is not clear on the issue. Personally, I have come to believe it is a sign of the new covenant, similar to the way circumcision was the sign of the old covenant. One major objection to covenant baptism is that often times, babies are being baptized, and people say "well that baby doesn't know what it's doing!" But they didn't exactly have any say in circumcision at 8 days old, either. This point actually probably could be turned into an entire post, but I'm not going to do that. Another interesting point of the BF&M is point XVI, "Peace and War." It says that Christians are to seek peace with all men on principles of righteousness, and that Christians should seek to end war at all costs. I agree with this completely, but I'm afraid we've done a pretty poor job of it. I'm as guilty of this as anyone - I remember back in 2003 when I heard that we had attacked Iraq, I was literally excited. It literally was like some kind of bloodlust for war. Funny how seven years later, that war is still raging. And the church, the politically conservative, Christian, evangelical church has remained largely silent on the issue. I think we can both support our soldiers (as we should - it is not their call to go to war) while still oppose the war itself.
Morality. In line with what I said earlier, about saying "this or that is emphatically right", where does a lot of our morality come from? Alcohol is the best example I can come up with right now (my body does still feel like it's on central time, ha), but as southerners, where do we come up with this idea that alcohol is completely and totally wrong? I mean, Proverbs 20:1 says that "wine is a mocker and beer [or strong drink] is a brawler." OK...so if it's across the board wrong, the New Testament would affirm that, right? Well, in Paul's description of what a deacon, or overseer, should be, doesn't seem to say that it's completely wrong. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 suggests that they should be temperate, not abstinent. Further, 1 Corinthians 6:12 says everything is lawful, but not everything is helpful; everything is lawful, but I shall not be enslaved by anything. Obviously, if it becomes a controlling thing, it's wrong, but the same standard applies to...anything. Caffeine. Chocolate. Church. Money. Cars. Sex. Music. Fame. Anything! So why does alcohol get such special treatment? I just don't understand why it's such a big deal.
Sports. I am sick of college baseball. I want this season to be over, so we can move on to thinking about football. I want to learn golf, too.
Movies. Can't wait to see the A-Team. This summer has been solid with movies so far and should only get better.
Music. Been listening to Matt Costa, Mumford & Sons, and of course the Avetts. Lots of other stuff too, but those are the main 3. Jon Foreman is good, but sometimes can be super super whiny.
So those are some things I have been mulling over lately. My mind has been working overtime, it seems, but I'm having a blast in Hawaii. A full report from the trip will come when I get back.
Insomnia is for winners
<3 chanchan
-reading the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (I may do this later, actually)
-watching The Boondock Saints
-doing P90X - I have been majorly slacking off this week...not good
I am obviously not doing any of those things. I'm actually sitting here, listening to the Avett Brothers: Live, Vol. 2, and thinking about the week and what's been going on. And I have come up with some different thoughts, probably none long enough on their own to make one solitary post about. So...here are some ramblings:
Church. Just a precursor: everything I mention about having a problem with the church is something I am guilty of, too. So I'm not casting stones. I've been thinking a lot about church lately. What it is, what it should look like, things like that. And one thing that is disheartening to me about a lot of churches is that it seems like they are trying to isolate themselves from the world. I mean, think about it. Some churches have their own gyms, their own coffee shops, their own schools, their own bookstores, their own...shoot, you name it and they have it. I remember a few weeks ago I wound up at a church in Hattiesburg, MS (dreadful town, BTW) and walking around and literally feeling my spirit crushed because of the symbol of Christian excess this church seemed to be. Looking at everything in there, there was no reason whatsoever for a member of that church to ever interact with a person who was not a Christian. Shoot, there wasn't even any reason for a member of that church to interact with a member of another church. The reason that society is "degrading" or whatever it is doing is because we, as Christians, are removing the light from the world. I don't necessarily think it is Satan at work (in some cases it obviously is, but I think a lot of Christians are too quick to write off bad stuff happening as the work of the devil), but I think it is the fact that a. Christians are withdrawing from public schools, the local Y, the coffee shop downtown with the weird looking kids working at it, whatever it may be, and b. in the absence of the light, natural man is just acting like...well...natural man. Obviously in some places our enemy is working and doing things, but I think we want to just say "oh that's the work of the devil" so that we can absolve ourselves of responsibility. But the Bible describes the human heart as wicked! Jeremiah 17:9 says "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" It's just the condition of totally depraved man. So, when you take the light out of a place, the darkness prevails.
Calvinism. I'm pretty sure I'm a full fledged, five point Calvinist now. Total depravity, Unconditional election, Limited atonement, Irresistible grace, and the Perseverance of the saints.
The Baptist Faith and Message. I just read it (http://www.sbc.net/bfm/bfm2000.asp#x). I agree with most of it, which surprised me a little bit. Part of what I have a hard time agreeing with is the stance on baptism, which states "Christian baptism is the immersion of a believer in water in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit." It goes on to be a lot longer, but my problem with the statement listed is that...where is that scriptural? I haven't seen anywhere in the Bible that emphatically states "this is the right way to do baptism and not that way." I've come to a point where I see the great merit in both believer's baptism AND in covenant baptism (which many would label "infant" baptism, though that's not necessarily what it always is.) It ultimately boils down to a heart issue, but "Christian baptism is the immersion...?" Is it really? I don't think immersion is wrong. I don't think covenant baptism is THE be all end all to the baptism debate. But I also have a hard time going with something that says that the Christian way of life is emphatically this, and therefore not that, when scripture is not clear on the issue. Personally, I have come to believe it is a sign of the new covenant, similar to the way circumcision was the sign of the old covenant. One major objection to covenant baptism is that often times, babies are being baptized, and people say "well that baby doesn't know what it's doing!" But they didn't exactly have any say in circumcision at 8 days old, either. This point actually probably could be turned into an entire post, but I'm not going to do that. Another interesting point of the BF&M is point XVI, "Peace and War." It says that Christians are to seek peace with all men on principles of righteousness, and that Christians should seek to end war at all costs. I agree with this completely, but I'm afraid we've done a pretty poor job of it. I'm as guilty of this as anyone - I remember back in 2003 when I heard that we had attacked Iraq, I was literally excited. It literally was like some kind of bloodlust for war. Funny how seven years later, that war is still raging. And the church, the politically conservative, Christian, evangelical church has remained largely silent on the issue. I think we can both support our soldiers (as we should - it is not their call to go to war) while still oppose the war itself.
Morality. In line with what I said earlier, about saying "this or that is emphatically right", where does a lot of our morality come from? Alcohol is the best example I can come up with right now (my body does still feel like it's on central time, ha), but as southerners, where do we come up with this idea that alcohol is completely and totally wrong? I mean, Proverbs 20:1 says that "wine is a mocker and beer [or strong drink] is a brawler." OK...so if it's across the board wrong, the New Testament would affirm that, right? Well, in Paul's description of what a deacon, or overseer, should be, doesn't seem to say that it's completely wrong. 1 Timothy 3:1-13 suggests that they should be temperate, not abstinent. Further, 1 Corinthians 6:12 says everything is lawful, but not everything is helpful; everything is lawful, but I shall not be enslaved by anything. Obviously, if it becomes a controlling thing, it's wrong, but the same standard applies to...anything. Caffeine. Chocolate. Church. Money. Cars. Sex. Music. Fame. Anything! So why does alcohol get such special treatment? I just don't understand why it's such a big deal.
Sports. I am sick of college baseball. I want this season to be over, so we can move on to thinking about football. I want to learn golf, too.
Movies. Can't wait to see the A-Team. This summer has been solid with movies so far and should only get better.
Music. Been listening to Matt Costa, Mumford & Sons, and of course the Avetts. Lots of other stuff too, but those are the main 3. Jon Foreman is good, but sometimes can be super super whiny.
So those are some things I have been mulling over lately. My mind has been working overtime, it seems, but I'm having a blast in Hawaii. A full report from the trip will come when I get back.
Insomnia is for winners
<3 chanchan
Friday, May 28, 2010
Hawai'i
So, in about twelve hours I will board a plane that will make stops in Houston and Orange County before finally landing in Maui, where I will sleep for the night and then head over to the island of Lanai. And I haven't even started packing. That's nothing new though...every time I did Summer Staff I'm pretty sure I started packing like the night before, so this will get done. Right now, the biggest decision to make is if I'll attempt to sleep tonight or not. I want to be good and tired when I get on the plane so that I will find it easier to sleep, but then again I never can sleep on planes and I almost always wind up watching the wing to see if it catches fire. Only this time, it'll catch fire over the ocean and a shark will jump up and grab us or something. Who knows.
But, the reason I'm so excited is that this is my first mission trip. I've almost gotten to go on a few but they just haven't worked out, so it's pretty cool that I finally get to go. Lanai is a small island near Maui and it used to be a pineapple plantation. We're going to go in and do a music camp and maybe a Bible school for the week. My tasks include running a sound board and teaching kids to play "Come Thou Fount" on the ukulele. I have never operated a sound board and before yesterday couldn't have told you how to play a G chord on a ukulele (oddly enough it's the exact same shape as a D chord on a guitar which is fairly easy to remember). So I'm really looking forward to that.
Seeing as this is my first mission trip, though, I really don't know what to expect. I am just trying to go into this with an open heart and an open mind for whatever God has in store for the kids I am going to get to meet and for me. So, as I start to pack and get psyched up for the 13 hour flight out there, I'm just going to try to pray and really seek what the Father is saying about this trip. But, if it's anything like the rest of my life, He'll just reveal bits and pieces as we go along. Which is fine with me.
Besides, I've always felt like I'd fit in pretty well as a Hawaiian. So, here goes nothing, and hang ten, y'all.
<3 chanchan
But, the reason I'm so excited is that this is my first mission trip. I've almost gotten to go on a few but they just haven't worked out, so it's pretty cool that I finally get to go. Lanai is a small island near Maui and it used to be a pineapple plantation. We're going to go in and do a music camp and maybe a Bible school for the week. My tasks include running a sound board and teaching kids to play "Come Thou Fount" on the ukulele. I have never operated a sound board and before yesterday couldn't have told you how to play a G chord on a ukulele (oddly enough it's the exact same shape as a D chord on a guitar which is fairly easy to remember). So I'm really looking forward to that.
Seeing as this is my first mission trip, though, I really don't know what to expect. I am just trying to go into this with an open heart and an open mind for whatever God has in store for the kids I am going to get to meet and for me. So, as I start to pack and get psyched up for the 13 hour flight out there, I'm just going to try to pray and really seek what the Father is saying about this trip. But, if it's anything like the rest of my life, He'll just reveal bits and pieces as we go along. Which is fine with me.
Besides, I've always felt like I'd fit in pretty well as a Hawaiian. So, here goes nothing, and hang ten, y'all.
<3 chanchan
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Frustration...
One of my friends told me I write best when I'm frustrated, and with the weight of finals bearing down on me plus the annoyance of there being people redoing our roof, completely eliminating the possibility of sleep, I figured I'd write a little bit to calm myself down before I start studying. So here goes.
My battle cry for the last month or so comes from Matthew 9:14-29, specifically verse 24. It reads like this:
"And when they came to the disciples, they saw a great crowd around them, and scribes arguing with them. And immediately all the crowd, when they saw him, were greatly amazed and ran up to him and greeted him. And he asked them, "What are you arguing about with them?" And someone from the crowd answered him, "Teacher, I brought my son to you, for he has a spirit that makes him mute. And whenever it seizes him, it throws him down, and he foams and grinds his teeth and becomes rigid. So I asked your disciples to cast it out, and they were not able." And He answered them "O faithless generation, how long am I to be with you? How long am I to bear with you? Bring him to me." And they brought the boy to him. And when the spirit saw him, immediately it convulsed the boy, and he fell on the ground and rolled about, foaming at the mouth. And Jesus asked his father, "How long as this been happening to him?" And he said "From childhood. And it has often cast him into fire and into water, to destroy him. But if you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us." And Jesus said to him, "'If you can!' All things are possible for one who believes. Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" And when Jesus saw that a crowd came running together, He rebuked the unclean spirit, saying to it, "You mute and deaf spirit, I command you, come out of him and never enter him again." And after crying out and convulsing him terribly, it came out, and the boy was like a corpse, so that most of them said, "He is dead." But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him up, and he arose. And when He had entered the house, his disciples asked him privately, "Why could we not cast it out?" And He said to them, "This kind cannot be driven out by anything but prayer."
There are a lot of really good things in this passage. But verse 24 particularly stands out to me because I mean it takes balls to admit that. Because I want to look so big and bad and like I have everything all together. I mean, hell, I'm the seminary kid. I'm supposed to not be struggling with anything serious or struggle with unbelief or whatever. And yet here I am, in that very situation. It's the same triggers; finals, boredom, relationships, money problems; any number of things. And the crazy thing is this - I KNOW that finals will be over soon. I KNOW I'm in this…gah…I hate this phrase…season of singleness. I KNOW that God is going to provide for me money wise. And the funny thing about boredom is that I need something like that for a little while. I need some free time to get caught up on Lost, read some books for pleasure, work on my clawhammerin' skills, whatever. I need that time to just unwind and recharge. So really there's no reason to be like this, and there's a part of me that definitely knows this. There's a part of me that doesn't want this. But there's still that part of me that still tries to find ways to be miserable, still a part of me that is always expecting for the bottom to drop out.
And the crazy thing is this. I've been in this situation before. These situations. And God has been entirely faithful in them. I mean looking back over the past year especially - in times where I felt both happy (admittedly very few) and in times when I felt crushed and alone and whatever - God has been faithful to me. Whether it's been a word through studying scripture or just an encouraging word from a friend or whatever…He has been faithful. And as I look back over my Covenant Theology class, I've realized some things about the Bible, and the Old Testament in particular, that I've never thought of before. And the main thing, the thing I'm seeing played out, is that God makes good on His promises. He may very well allow us to struggle through some things and deal with some pretty hard crap, but He will make good on His promises. I was reading in my One Year Bible (which…OK even this is funny because I'm like a week behind but it's still just perfect timing) about Gideon in Judges 6 and the Angel of the Lord appears to Gideon (which…like some people believe that references the pre-incarnate Christ, which is pretty cool) and reminds Gideon "I brought you up out of slavery in Egypt. I rescued you from the Egyptians and from all who oppressed you. I drove out your enemies and gave you their land." He goes on to say more, and really that's not the main point of the story (but it IS the main underlying theme of redemptive history) but God is faithful. This is the same God who has been with me, step by step, for my entire life. This is the same God who has provided for me in these situations time and time again and though I'm frustrated and in a bit of a pinch, I know that God has given me a family that loves me, friends that do as well, and most importantly, He has given us Himself.
In Jeremiah, God has sent the prophet Jeremiah to his people to give them a word. Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you…" is an oft quoted verse for people who are graduating high school or whatever, so much so that it might be a cliche by now, but when God sent Jeremiah, Israel was at the lowest of the low. And at that place, at that point where they were literally worse off than they ever had been before, God delivers that message. And I'm not at the lowest of the low right now (started to get to that point about this time last year though) but I can still rejoice in that promise.
Finally, my response to this situation has been all wrong. God convicted me of that during the hour or however long it was that I wandered aimlessly around the neighborhood that though my response often is to get pissed off or have imaginary conversations (I'm crazy, I know) with the people I feel like I need to talk to or just shut down (which yesterday was a combination of all of those), my response should be prayer and praise. There is an amount of godly grief and all that, but even in spite of that I am to praise.
Anyway, a couple of hours and an episode or two of Lost later, I feel a ton better. I'm going to go take over the world.
Until next time,
chanchan
Monday, April 12, 2010
Confessions, pt. I
So I have a bit of a confession to make. Not divulging any dirty little secrets here or anything like that, but this is something I need to get off my chest...
I have been deceived. You can say I've believed a lie, been tricked, whatever…but the fact remains I have been believing that something untrue was true, and it has been holding me back.
This morning, in class, I came to the realization that I have believed that "getting by" and, maybe more importantly, "doing better" were good enough ways to get through life. As a side note, this class on sanctification has been unbelievable. Not necessarily the class itself, but how it has forced me to actually sit down and take a look at my own life. It also kind of goes hand in hand with another post I made recently about being a doer of the word and not just a hearer.
But how many of us just "get by"? I often think to myself, although it's not always a conscious thought, "well, I only do this once or twice a week" or "well, I'm not out doing THAT all the time, so I'm OK" and after those thoughts I usually follow up with "so I'm OK" or "I'm doing better." And I guess if I compare myself to myself or compare myself to others then I can say that and feel OK about it (which is not to say that I'm better than anybody else, but it's just that rationalization of our sin that we all go through). But, if Christ is the center of my life, instead of other people, or way more likely, myself, then no matter how much better I am than I used to be or how much less I do something than someone else, I still pale in comparison to the goal. And I don't say that to say that I have to be perfect, because that is what this whole sanctification process is about. It's not like you just get saved and all of a sudden you don't struggle with anything anymore.
But I have realized that I am accepting less than God's best for me, because until this point I have been unwilling (maybe ashamed, maybe apathetic, maybe…any number of things) to bring my sin to the forefront and deal with it, and when it comes down to it I think this is a big part of the reason that I've just been content with getting by.
I don't know if that was really coherent. It's kind of early…at least by my standards…I'm hungry, and I have a ton of other stuff to do but I felt like I needed to write first to clear my mind a little.
"Be killing sin or it will be killing you." - John Owen
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