Ten Years Later...

Sometimes change occurs gradually. It can take months, years, decades, even millennia. But sometimes it takes a matter of seconds. That was definitely the case on Tuesday, September 11, 2001.

I remember where I was when I heard - I was a junior at Jackson Prep, and I was on my way to school. I was right there at the light by the baseball field, turning right. For some reason I had left my CDs at home so I was listening to the radio, which was pretty uncommon for me, but during a commercial break the y101 people said they had just heard that a plane had crashed into one of the buildings at the World Trade Center, but that was all they knew. It was pretty shocking news, but it didn't seem like it was real. I remember saying a quick prayer, getting out of my car and wondering how a plane could hit a building like that. We didn't find out about the second plane until activity period, and then the reality of the situation started to set in. We spent most of the rest of the day watching the news and speculating on what could possibly be happening, what it meant, why it happened, and any other question teenagers would have had. We heard about the plane that hit the Pentagon and eventually the plane that crashed in (I think) Pennsylvania. We watched the towers fall.

There was a certain part of all of it that didn't seem real. I mean, we lived in America. Our country hadn't been under attack in my lifetime. On September 10th, we were untouchable. On the 11th, we weren't anymore. The images of the towers falling, the planes crashing, people jumping...it seemed like we were watching a movie.

I feel like I spent the rest of the day trying to avoid the news. Pretty sure we had basketball practice that afternoon, so that helped, but I remember going home and seeing it on TV and just thinking history had been made.

I remember the next day. I was late to school because I had to drive past the airport and there was some kind of military checkpoint. When I showed up, the receptionist/person at the window that wrote tardy slips (who was generally just kind of a mean person) said "Why are you late?" and I said "Because I have to drive past the airport and there was some military checkpoint and I got stopped for a while." She said "well you should have planned ahead" and I told her "well, next time there's a national tragedy I'll know how to respond. Sorry." And then she gave me an excused tardy.

The world changed that day though. For a while, it really did feel like we were unified. That was good. But I think for me, that was one of the days I started to understand what it meant to live in a fallen world. That and one other day when I was in fourth grade are the days I can point to that I realized...this world is not a good place. The idea that people are basically good but make some mistakes went out the window for me.

Romans 8:18-22 comes to mind. It says:

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.

The world itself has been subjected to the corruption and death of sin.

But the most incredible thing, to me, that happened, was seeing the gospel lived out in the following days. In a lot of ways, the firefighters that rushed into the buildings and gave their lives for complete strangers represented the sacrifice Christ made for us on the cross. When Todd Beamer and the people on UA Flight 93 sacrificed their lives, the same picture was painted. Self-sacrificing love that didn't - couldn't - expect anything in return.

We were created in the image of God. Sin distorted that image in us. There's still this idea, though, that sacrificial love is right. There's something in all of us that wants it, we yearn for it. I think that's a big part of Romans 8...there's something in basic humanity that longs for redemption, though we spend so much time trying to find it in the wrong places.

But, ten years later, I am thankful for a country that rose up in the face of adversity and united. I hope we can remember that unity and find it again (and soon) as we continue to face various crises. More importantly, though, I am thankful for a savior who not only redeems humanity, but also will redeem the whole world. I'm thankful that he's promised his people he is coming back. And I'm thankful that, despite incomprehensible evil, he's promised us this:

No, in all these things we are more than conquerers through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

That's from Romans 8 too, by the way.

Ten years later, I still don't know what to make of all of it. September 11th, 2001 was the most tragic day in the history of my life and I doubt we'll ever really see the full significance of it on this side.

But I know this...I won't forget it. And if I ever have kids, I'm going to make sure they know about the sacrifices made by the NYPD, NYFD, the passengers of Flight 93, and our brave soldiers who have answered the call of duty in the wake of the tragedy. I think about my friends that are serving in various branches of our armed forces and I am incredibly thankful for them.

But above all, I'm thankful for a God that is sovereign, and that even though 9/11 was a horrible day, it didn't catch him by surprise and it didn't thwart his plan. And I'm thankful for a God who also promised us this...again, Romans 8:

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

The End.

The Question of Manhood

This has been an incredibly long day, but it has been a very good day. I've currently been awake for 19 hours and the end is very much in sight, but before I crash I wanted to put a few thoughts out there.

Two different things happened today that have me thinking about the question of manhood.

This morning, I started the Men's Fraternity at Redeemer Church in Jackson, the church I've been visiting for the last month or so, and it was a great morning. Over the next 12 weeks, we're going to be discussing a lot of issues that face men, and one of the things that especially peaked my interest was the idea of coming up with a working definition of manhood. Let's face it - if you asked 10 different guys the definition of manhood, you'd get 10 different answers. So I'm very much looking forward to what happens with all this.

This evening, somebody told me about a tweet basically scolding some college and post college aged guys for tweeting about Harry Potter, saying it was time to "grow up" or "man up" or something like that. We had some fun with the tweet, but a little later on we got to talking about the actual content of it and the underlying implication that somehow, liking Harry Potter isn't "manly." At least not in the eyes of some people.

Think about that. Liking Harry Potter all of a sudden isn't manly. Or...well...maybe it never has been for some. I've never been a Harry Potter fan, but I don't hate it or anything, I just haven't read any of the books or seen any of the movies. But all of a sudden your opinion on Harry Potter determines at least part of your manhood? I mean, somehow liking Harry Potter and tweeting about it makes you less of a man, but not liking Harry Potter and not tweeting about it makes you more of a man?

If any part of your view of manhood is based on how you feel about a series of fantasy novels, I'd say your view of manhood overall is shallow and pretty superficial. And I'd also argue that there's something in those books that stirs something very positive about manhood up in all of us, but more on that later. How you feel about a particular book is irrelevant, but I think those books touch on something very real and very tangible that we all desire as men.

I just don't think being a man is that shallow. I'm thankful for awesome example of godly, manly men in my life, but while they are/were all without a doubt "real" (whatever that means) men, they all look completely different. One of my grandfathers is as tough as nails, he builds things, he's worked in factories or doing other kinds of manual labor his entire life. He loves hunting and fishing and everything outdoors. My other grandfather loved classical music and reading theology. He worked in an office and on computers. Yeah, he liked to do outdoorsy stuff too, but they looked like totally different men and their lives looked very different. My dad doesn't look exactly like either of them, either. He embodies certain traits that they both have, but he's not exactly like either one of them. Oh and he likes fantasy stories and awful sci-fi movies. And we talk about Star Wars, Star Trek, and other stuff like that. But that's another story. But they were all definitely men and the embodiment of manhood. They love(d) their wives, their families, their God, their church, and it's not just in the wake up, work 9-5, come back and be left alone way - they enjoy(ed) rich, deep relationships with their families and friends...I mean I don't even really know how to explain it, I just know I want to be like them.

But looking at Harry Potter...these stories are wildly popular, and they're widely recognized as good literature. I think fantasy stories awaken something in us though. I mean I can't speak to Harry Potter, but I can speak to Star Wars or the Lord of the Rings. Yeah, it's dorky, but seeing someone realize their purpose in life, fight for it, and achieve it is something I think resonates with all of us. I mean, we're wired to have purpose. We're wired to experience adventure. These are things that Wild at Heart, the basic Christian treatise on manhood (again...not a book I was really in to) but those are ideals are really expounded in there.

And I think the fact that we don't read those kinds of stories anymore...the fact that we look at that stuff and laugh and think it's lame or not manly...I think that's part of why men are just kind of blah now. Our sense of wonder and adventure has been replaced by the 9-5, by the mundane routine of working the same job, the same vacations every year, even down to the same lunch place every day...we just get beat into a routine.

CS Lewis knew this. JRR Tolkien knew this. I think JK Rowling probably knows this. Story is a big deal, adventure is a big deal. I really hope we don't get to a point where it's not acceptable to enjoy a story that awakens all of this in us.

As it is with a lot of the things I write, a specific person or event triggers the thought, but these are the kinds of things that have been brewing under the surface for me for a while. I also don't know if this is coherent or not. There are some Biblical things in my mind right now too, but I'm way too tired for research.

Read on, fellas. Even if it can be a little annoying when my Twitter feed blows up with a movie or book I have never read, enjoy it. Life, literature, adventure, all of that...it's meant to be enjoyed. So keep it up.

-Chandler

Death is Always a Tragedy

I should be studying Hebrew right now, but I am not. My mind is racing about a lot of things, most of which I won't be writing about here, and technically I'm on a study break anyway (because I HAVE been studying, I'm just not at this moment.) No, right now I'm thinking about death. Which is a fun topic, right? Always something you want to be deep in thought about.

But it's days like today when I'm sobered by the reality of mortality. I saw the news of Amy Winehouse's death and initially thought "well, no surprise there" because it was just last week (I think) that I heard on the radio that she had cancelled several shows due to showing up one night incoherent and detached from reality. I read a couple of articles, saw where people had tweeted about it, and then kind of went on my merry little way with this attitude of "well, she had it coming." Then, on a message board I read way too much, the topic came up and someone said "the real tragedy is the 30 dead teenagers in Norway." And for whatever reason, that comment woke me up to the reality:

Death is always a tragedy. Always.

Honestly, Amy Winehouse hits a little closer to me for a few reasons. First, because I knew who she was. It's probably not right, but it's human nature to at least be more interested in people we've heard of. But the second reason is probably the one that is the most sobering - she was 27. I'm 26. Yeah, she did drugs and made some pretty bad lifestyle decisions, but the fact that somebody my age could be alive one day and dead the next is still kind of a crazy concept to me.

But, the story about what happened in Norway is pretty crazy too. I mean, thinking about it, it's nuts. Here you have like 90 people just going about their day, minding their own business, and then all of a sudden they die.

And it's not like things like that are isolated incidents - they can happen anywhere, at any time. And it's horrible. Death surrounds us. We live in a culture where we try to fight it as much as we can, but even people who are "living right" are still a gun shot or a bomb blast away from being dead. I mean I remember what happened at Pearl High School in 1997, I saw what happened at Columbine on TV, we all remember September 11. Nobody on any of those days imagined what was going to happen, those kids in Norway had no idea what would happen, and I'd guess Amy Winehouse probably didn't think it would happen to her, either.

The real tragedy, though, is that this isn't the way things were intended to be. Death, in all of its forms, is a direct consequence of rebellion. Genesis 2 lays that out pretty clearly - eat of the tree, die. And we're bound in that as long as we're here. And so to see anyone die, whether they are (by our standards) "innocent" or murderers or drug addicts or any other number of things that cause us to say "well, that person deserved to die" is a tragedy.

The fact is, though, we're not guaranteed tomorrow. Just because Amy Winehouse was more likely to die young doesn't mean it was any more certain than it was for those people in Norway. And it's one of those things that when I see it on TV or whatever I can just kind of blow it off and be like "well we have Jesus and we'll never die" or whatever, which IS true and IS his promise to us, but when it happens so far away or to people I don't know it's easy to be callous about it.

I don't know. I'm not sure where to go from there. You just kind of sit there and think about life and death and all of that and it puts things into perspective I guess. But, it does remind me of one of my favorite hymns and keeps me on my toes thinking about this conflict "between the now and the not yet" - the promise we have in Christ but the time we must wait for that promise to be fulfilled. When I think/hear about tragedy, death, it reminds me of "On Jordan's Stormy Banks I Stand" (which I found out a week or so ago was played at my grandfather's funeral, which I was too young to really remember much from it) and this particular stanza:

No chilling wind nor poisonous breath

Can reach that healthful shore

Sickness, sorrow, pain and death

Are felt and feared no more

We don't only have the promise that sickness, sorrow, pain nor death will no longer be felt, we have the promise they will no longer be FEARED. 1 Corinthians 15:55:

O Death, where is your victory?

O Death, where is your sting?

But we also know that Christ conquered the grave, and that our final enemy, death, has been defeated:

But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive. But each in his own order: Christ the firstfruits, then at his coming those who belong to Christ. Then comes the end, when he delivers the kingdom to God the Father after destroying every rule and every authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is DEATH. 1 Corinthians 10:20-26 (emphasis mine).

I hope this made sense to anyone who would be so kind as to read it.

On Being A Hater, Pt. 2

I love that title. "On Being A Hater." So good. I should just change the name of this blog to that. But I won't, because it's probably already taken.

But the last time I wrote, I tried to clear up my stance (well, maybe not MY stance, but the stance of someone I agree completely with) on technology in the church. It's the second time I've written on such an issue, but to sum it up, I have no problem with technology in the church. I have a problem with wasteful spending on technology (or anything else) in the church and I have a problem with unnecessary (that is a difficult word to spell) spending in the church. Just like I have that issue with government or Ole Miss athletics or...anything. And it's a simple principle - be wise with what you've been blessed with. Are there absolutely no other needs in your church body? OK, buy that 26th flat screen TV. But if that money can be spent elsewhere, elsewhere it is needed, I believe it is the responsibility of the church and the pastoral staff (and elders, which I happen to believe are necessary for a church to function right, though that's another topic) especially to tend to those.

Please hear me - technology is not bad. I enjoy technology. It's a wonderful thing. But don't fall in love with it. It's just like in my life...I get a new phone because I need it. I have never gone out and gotten a phone I didn't need (previous one broke, changed providers, etc.).

So that's that.

The next issue is that of performance. I think I touched on that a little in my last post too (I might not have) but I want to expound on my views there a little more clearly, because again, I'm afraid what I feel about this has been misrepresented.

First off, a few things I'm not saying. I'm not hung up on style. I don't think that because you play an electric guitar in church you're being inherently flashy. I think you're just playing an electric guitar. I don't think that because you play an organ in church you're inherently doing it right. I think you're just playing an organ in church. I think somebody can be a very humble guitar player and a very flashy organist. And vice versa. I also don't think special music, special music nights, and special presentations in services are inherently bad. Meaning, none of these things are bad in and of themselves. I mean, shoot, I've spent some time playing lead guitar in a Sunday morning worship band. So I'm either misunderstood or a major hypocrite (likely both though, if I'm going to be honest about it).

So...what's the point of this? There are people that think I'm anti-everything. I'm not. I'm a huge fan of big choirs. I'm a huge fan of a band that sounds great and does a good job leading worship (again...I'd rather listen to Indelible Grace or Red Mountain Church than Hillsong, but that's another story). There's nothing wrong with that. What I think IS wrong is when worship becomes about a performance. What I think is wrong is when worship becomes all about us.

I guess the question, then, is how do you define that? How do you definitively say "that was a genuine worship service" or "that was a performance"? Maybe you can't. But I'd ask the question...who is the attention centered on? Is it on the soloist? Is it on the guitar player? The drummer? Or Christ?

See, I don't think you can compare a worship service to a movie or a concert. I expect a movie or concerts to be good because I understand a few things about them:

First, I spent good money to go there. Movies are dang near $10 now (which doesn't seem all that much, I guess, but I remember when they were $5.) I mean, I go to a movie...get a ticket, get popcorn and a drink, that's like $25. Maybe more. Concerts are more expensive. I paid $26 to see the Avett Brothers at the Lyric and that was just to get in. Nevermind the fact drinks were expensive too. Our resources are limited, and if we're going to spend them on things to be entertained, we want to know they're going to be of the best quality. I'd pay a bunch of money to see the Civil Wars play again, because it was a phenomenal concert. I wouldn't pay anything to see Soulja Boy again, because he was terrible and put on an awful show. So I guess for point 1, "It's the economy, stupid". Not that anyone that disagrees with me is stupid, that's just the quote.

Second, movies are fake. When you see a scene in a movie, they probably filmed that take tons of times.

Third, a concert IS a performance. I have no problem with a performance if that's what it's called. I have a problem with a performance if it's called a worship service. A performance is meant to draw attention to the performer, a worship service is meant to draw attention to the Father. Pretty simple. Part of why I like Old Crow Medicine Show, the Avett Brothers, the Civil Wars, etc, is the fact that they put on great performances. It's about THEIR music, and that's fine.

I mean, shoot, if your church has talented singers, let 'em sing. If your church has great songwriters, let 'em write and sing. Have a special music night. What's wrong with those things? I don't think anybody thinks there's anything wrong with that. But worship isn't perfect! Sometimes the music will be out of key. Sometimes someone will mess up the words. To me, it just serves as a reminder we're human but God still loves us anyway. It serves as a reminder that, just like in our every day lives, we're going to stumble. And I think when you take that out of worship, you miss something special. Something almost organic.

But the problem is like the story that got cited out of Elevation Church. I know I harped on that in the last post, but I'll do it again, because what they pulled was inexcusable. And then when the story said church staffers said Elevation did "worship, not ministry," it got even worse. That's ridiculous!

Also, the problem is when people do things that do draw attention to individuals. I love guitar solos. But when I'm driving down the street listening to music and I hear a guitar solo, I don't think "MAN...PRAISE GOD THIS GUITAR SOLO IS REALLY SPEAKING TO ME." I think "man that dude can shred. I wish I could do that." My attention is focused on the guitar player and him playing, not what he's singing about or whatever. Or in a song where everyone is singing and the soloists sing the verses. We're there to participate, not listen to you sing. At least I am.

Look, talent and technology have a great place in church. We should embrace them. We should not make them the object of our desire. That's what I have a problem with. And everything in the church should have a specific reason that serves a kingdom purpose. Not just a TV that looks good on TV. Not just a soloist because she (or he) won last season of American Idol.

I have no problem whatsoever with these things if they serve a valid purpose. Which can also be tied back to the fact I think all churches should have elders and open communication with the decision makers.

Anyway, I hope this made sense. I'm fading fast (5 hours of sleep last night and like 4 the night before...).

On Being A Hater

Apparently, I'm a "hater." This isn't anything new, and it's nothing unique to me. If you don't like something that's popular, you're just a hater. Never read Harry Potter? Hater. Don't care for John Mayer? Hater. Think the United States Men's National Soccer Team sucks? Despite the affirmative evidence, hater.

Think having 25 TVs in a church is excessive? Yep, you guessed it, hater.

Now, I've never wanted to be involved in a blog war. And I don't think this is one, but over the last month or so, I've become aware of the fact that (among other things) my views on things may have been misrepresented. I've been labeled a "hater."

I posted a blog on my Twitter account last night that almost perfectly sums up how I feel about church. You can read it here. And let me just say now, I agree 100% with everything Rachel Evans wrote in this entry.

Now, I am by no means an expert on...anything really, but I've read a couple of books on how "cool" and "christian" can (or can't) mix (and actually the best one of these books was Hipster Christianity by Brett McCracken. If you are interested in this issue at all, read it), partly because I'm interested in sociology but mostly because I'm interested at how hip Christianity can really be, and I'm also interested in this question: Is the church influencing culture, or is culture influencing the church?

But before I try to answer that question (which I almost certainly cannot do), I want to clarify which question(s) I am not asking.

First, I'm not asking whether or not the church embracing technology is right or wrong. I'm sure some people have thought I'm some Christian Luddite sitting in my room writing manifestos about how robots are going to take over the world if we don't stop digitizing everything. That's not the case. While I do hate the fact that it seems that buying an actual, tangible book or record or whatever is going the way of the dinosaur, it's not necessarily a bad thing. In fact it's quite alright (except for the fact that when the robots DO take over the world, I'll still have my copy of Isaac Asimov's I, Robot and I'll know how to handle the situation better than all of you, but I digress.) It's personal preference. I'd rather read my Bible in book form and not in iPad form. I'd rather listen to music on vinyl than on my iPod. It's not right or wrong, it's personal preference.

And, on top of that, technology can be very helpful. It's a major benefit, for example to have the words to the music up on a screen instead of passing out a song sheet every week. It allows for some flexibility and it saves the environment (see? I'm not a hater of EVERYTHING at least). I mean, at some point and time, installing those great big organs in old churches was the pinnacle of technology, and I absolutely love organ music in church. I think it's great.

So that's not the question. Anybody that's reasonable can understand that, and I feel like reasonable people should be able to understand this - we don't hate technology. Not by a long shot.

Second, I'm not asking which "style" is right or wrong. Those might seem like very similar questions, but to me they're very different. I like folk music, so I'm going to be more inclined to buy an Indelible Grace or Red Mountain Church album than a Hillsong or David Crowder album (that's not the only reason, but it's a big part of it).

And I think in large part, culture is affecting the Church. I mean, it's hard to see it any other way. I mean, on one hand, you have the whole gay clergy thing. On another you have the universalism thing. On another you have the bullcrap that Elevation pulled (and I couldn't care less how many items were donated to the needy - Christ's own words in Luke 17:2 say it's better to tie a millstone around your neck and jump into the ocean than to cause a little one to stumble - that crap is inexcusable).

Like I said, technology isn't the issue, and I don't think anyone is saying it is. I mean, I'm sure there were people who were pissed at Paul for writing his letters on scrolls instead of stone tablets. They probably thought "if stone tablets were good enough for Moses, they're good enough for Paul." No, technology isn't the issue, it's just a medium. Just like Twitter or Facebook or anything else isn't an issue. It's the people using it. And I think part of the problem is that we've created a culture in which "why" is a bad word. There are certain people that I would feel totally comfortable saying "hey, why do we have this" or "what's the purpose here" and they'd give an answer. And that's fine. But there are other people that I wouldn't feel comfortable asking why, because asking why is just an assault on their authority, and that's wrong because they said it was.

And, if I were completely honest, "what's really bothering me" is the need to puff ourselves up and to try to make the gospel more appealing. Simply put, that's what bothers me. So, technology isn't the issue, as I've said before. It's the fact that the church in America today doesn't think the gospel of Jesus Christ is good enough.

On a final note, back to Elevation when church employees say a church focuses on "worship, not ministries," something is gravely, gravely wrong. John Piper once said "missions exist because worship doesn't." In that same vein, I'd say a church that focuses on "worship, not ministries" doesn't actually worship at all.

And that is something I have a huge, huge problem with.

Timshel

Just to start...the title of this entry has nothing to do with the entry itself. Or maybe it does. I don't know yet (I never know where these things end up) but I'm playing the song by Mumford & Sons of the same title on repeat right now because it's encouraging (them singing "you are not alone in this" just feels right because I've had all kinds of experiences in life where I didn't believe that) and it is good to sit and think to. So, here goes.

It seems like my life is always on the verge of something. I don't know why that is...maybe I'm obsessed with the new thing, or the next thing? Right now is one of those times. There are some major changes coming in my life in the next 6 or 8 weeks, and I'm ready for them to already be happening. I feel like I'm about to start my "real life." It kind of reminds me of Colin Hay's song "Waiting For My Real Life to Begin" when he says "Any minute now, my ship is coming in...I keep checking the horizons..." and I feel like I have a date circled in my head that everything is going to change. And in a lot of ways that is true. A lot of people know what change is coming, but I'll talk about it here after it happens. Right now I just know it's happening.

And I guess the reason I'm looking so forward to it is that I'm just so frustrated with my current situation right now. I don't feel at home at all. I really never have, at least not in the places the change is coming. Since 6th or 7th grade I've felt like a stranger...it kind of reminds me of the new Death Cab single, "You Are a Tourist" where it says "And if you feel like a tourist in the city you were born, then it's time to go." And that's just what I feel like. It's time to go. But I guess the impatience in me is wanting to rush it.

Tonight, though, was a major breath of fresh air on so many levels. I struggle with some things, particularly as it relates to church. I mean, every Sunday is a freaking rock concert, complete with guitar solos and light shows. I don't know if that's "right" or "wrong" and it's not the point of what I'm trying to say - it's just what it is. And the bigger and louder a production is, the easier it is to fake. I mean, think about it. When I was in 10th grade, the Creed concert in Jackson was the coolest thing I'd ever seen because it was loud and they blew stuff up. As I got older, though, I started to realize...Creed sucks. Their music is awful and it sounds way over produced and all the explosions in the world can't cover that up. So you can fake stuff. And maybe it's not my place to judge "real" or "fake" worship for anyone besides myself (but I don't believe worship is purely experiential because then it becomes subjective and there's no truth to it) but tonight I encountered real worship.

We did the His Heart music camp this week, which is always a phenomenal week. It can be tedious, tiring, and very frustrating at times, but it's so worth it on Sunday morning and Sunday night to see those kids get the chance to lead worship and to see the smiles on their faces and all that. And it's encouraging and it sticks in my mind.

Calvary, to me, sort of symbolizes the start of this whole journey, because last year when I was helping out with Calvary's VBS was when I started asking questions about church and worship and all. Every time I go there, I'm reminded of what real worship looks like. Real worship is messy. It's not always a tight sounding band and a nice looking praise team. Sometimes it's just a dude singing really old hymns that looks so happy you don't think he'd want to be anywhere else. Sometimes it's just sitting back and watching the His Heart kids sing and dance. There comes a point where it's not about theology (which I struggle with), it's not about lights, it's not about guitar solos, it's not about 20 TVs, it comes to the point where it's about loving Jesus and loving people. Because I think if you have those two things worked out, everything else falls into place.

And if you stripped away all that other stuff...if your church service was just in a big, almost completely empty sanctuary, without the lights, without the expensive sound system, without the bells and whistles we've become accustomed to in worship, what's left? Are you still singing loudly, or are you saying it's just not a big deal because there aren't hundreds or thousands of people there?

And I have to ask myself that question. What does my life, my worship, look like in those situations?

I don't know where all of this is going. I know a change is coming. I'm ready for that change. I'm ready for things to be new, ready to feel like my life is moving in that direction. But I still have to wait a little while longer.

But I know that I'm not alone in this.

Summer Goals and Various Musings

I've now been out of school for a week. I haven't done anything in about a week. Coincidence? Nope. Having down time to just hang out and unwind has been wonderful, but I'm about to reach the point of worthlessness, so I need to figure out some stuff to keep myself occupied until Summer Hebrew starts. Hopefully I'll be in my new job by the Fall, so once Hebrew kicks off I doubt there will be much free time for anything too crazy, so I figured I'd write out some things I want to accomplish between now and then. It's not an impressive list, but it's enough to tie me over.

-Read. I have several books I want to read. I've already read Love Wins and I'm about halfway through How The Gospel Brings Us All The Way Home by Derek Thomas, which is great so far. It's a series of sermons he did at First Pres in Jackson on Romans 8 and then turned it into a book. Other things on the list are Living for God's Glory by Joel Beeke and The Bible and the Future by Anthony Hoekema (which I was actually supposed to read for ST3 but didn't finish it...oops.) I also have a couple of books on spiritual gifts, Are Miraculous Gifts for Today by several guys (can't remember who the editor is) and The Final Word by O. Palmer Robertson. I've actually had those for a long time and didn't have time to read them due to classes starting back up, which kind of sucks because I got them after a little incident that involved someone speaking in tongues publicly in a worship service I was attending. That's a lot of reading, but I mean...I don't have anything else to do.

-Ride. My bum knee needs it. My fat belly needs it. And my bored mind needs it. I think it's reasonable to try to ride 4 mornings a week, if not 5. I'm pretty consistently doing about 7 miles right now, but I also think it's reasonable to try to get that up to about 20 ASAP. We shall see.

-Learn to sight read music. Pretty straight forward.

So those are my 3 major goals for the summer. I don't think it's anything too challenging, so let's do it.

And now, for the various musings.

Galatians 1:10 - "For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."

It's not really "various musings" because it's something that's been stirring in my heart for almost a year, and it started with a conversation. A good friend and I were helping out at a function at a church in downtown Jackson we've helped out with a lot over the last year and half or so (he's probably been at it longer). We were sitting in the sanctuary while the kids were singing, and I think it was a hymn. The words were put up on a powerpoint with a plain white background and black letters, pretty similar to what opening up a word processor and typing would look like. We both kind of laughed at it, but then, almost at the exact same time, had the same thought - why would we laugh at that? The truth of the words of the song was not bound in a pretty design in the power point, smooth transitions between slides, or lights that change color based on the mood. The truth of the words is bound in the words. In the message. In the message praising God.

And that got me thinking. I've been conditioned, by two churches I have attended, to judge a worship service by aesthetics. Did we sing with a projector screen or printed words on a handout or even...gasp...a hymnal? Were the songs we sang hymns or songs off K-LOVE or whatever? Did the stage look good on TV or did it look plain and boring? These kinds of questions can go on indefinitely. And it brought me to ask some questions. Why is the church so obsessed with technology? How much is too much?

I mean, think about it. I know of a church that bought some extra flat screen TVs that just look good on TV. They bought TVs to look good on TV. And they are nice TVs. Probably between $500 and $1000. There are 15 other TVs in the "worship center" (when did it become uncool to call it a sanctuary?) and the room surrounding the "worship center." That makes 18 total. 18 TVs. I've been to a church where the lights on the stage change colors with the power point presentation. Why? It looks good on TV? Because it somehow enhances the truth of the message? Because...why?

I don't think the church should shun technology. No, it should embrace it. Technology is a good thing. In fact, a lot of the pastors I like, read, and listen to embrace things like Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, and various other outlets. It gives us new access to people and places we have never had before. I mean, even the guys that wrote the Bible used the best technology they had available. It was pretty much just pen and paper, or some early form of pen and paper, but they used what was available to them to get the message out. We should too.

I'm also not saying using power point in a worship service is wrong. I personally enjoy having a hard copy of something in my hand (which is also why I'm incredibly thankful for the return of vinyl and have, so far, resisted the urge to get a Kindle...OK well that may deal more with the fact I'm broke but I still very much appreciate the way a book feels and smells), but I fully realize the simplicity of throwing the words on a power point and putting them up on a screen. I just think a lot of people overdo it. The beauty is in the message, not in the technology used to present the message.

When I watch John Piper preach, it's one camera, it's John Piper, and it's a less than impressive set of chairs behind him in an empty choir loft. But he faithfully, simply, and consistently preaches the Gospel and nothing but the Gospel. There aren't any high-tech lights, no TVs behind him...just a man preaching the Word of God.

And so I come to the question I've been struggling with. If you stripped away the big guitar solos, the fancy lights, the elaborate power points, the flat screen TVs, the car and iPad giveaways, and all of the bells and whistles, what's left of the church in America? What's left of your (or my) church?

And what should we, as the body of Christ, do about it?

May 22, 2011

OK, I'm giving up on the video game posts. This list is just kind of dumb and...well...I just feel like it's dumb. That's it.

It's May 22, 2011. The world was supposed to end yesterday, but it didn't. But it's interesting that I studied eschatology this semester (though I didn't understand it like...at all, and not only am I surprised I passed the class, I'm a little surprised I didn't get kicked out of school for heresy because...well...I had no idea what I was talking about on the final) and all this stuff went on. May 21, 2011. WE CAN KNOW. But it obviously didn't happen. Besides the words of Jesus in Matthew 24:36, where He says no one knows the day or the hour, some other things came to mind, most specifically the fact that Christ's second coming is going to be a joyous event. I pretty much reject the whole theology of the Left Behind series, but I can't exactly tell you why (yet), but Jesus Christ is definitely returning and when he does, it is going to be an incredible thing for believers. In fact I long for the day. But I don't believe that Jesus is coming in the next 5 seconds.

5...
4...
3...
2...
1...

OK, didn't happen. There are still unfulfilled prophecies, like the Antichrist and the gospel being proclaimed to all nations, among other things. God's not a liar, and if He said some things are going to happen, they're going to happen. This isn't as theologically sound as I wish it was, but one of my goals for the summer is to figure out where I stand on this and more importantly, why.

This hasn't been a complete thought or anything really. And hopefully I can revisit this after I've read up on it some more. These are just some thoughts I've had lately. But Christ is returning. And it's going to be a wonderful thing.

Day 9 - My Favorite Console

Though I've gotten way more mileage out of my XBOX 360, my all time favorite console is the Nintendo 64.



Seriously, this thing was great. It introduced me to so many things. The Rumble Pack, the Expansion Pack, and 4 player console gaming to name a few. Not to mention countless hours of Goldeneye. Yeah, the 64 was a great system. Even after "better" ones came out we stuck with the 64. And to this day, there still has not been a better wrestling game than WWF No Mercy. I had an epic 45 minute ladder match with a friend one night, but I had to leave before it was over and we never did determine a winner.

Day 8 - My Favorite Third Person Game

I haven't played a whole lot of third person games, but it's hard to beat Gears of War...